Category - Family

Fresh updates and insights

AITA for asking my stbx husband why I’d take him back when the nanny does more for the family than she does.

My husband and I are separated, getting a divorce. We have a 3 year old and a 8 year old. He owns his own business and told me he’d get home at 5:30-6 every night. I get home at 6-6:30 so I never thought anything about him always getting home before me. I had our 3 year old in extended care at daycare and 8 year old in her school’s after school program because I believed he was working. Halfway through the school year last year I hired a nanny instead of the extended care programs after our oldest had problems with her program. I got a call from the nanny about 2 weeks in, saying my stbx husband locked them out and was telling her to take them to the park but the kids were hungry and she didn’t have car seats (his house is walking distance from school and daycare so she didn’t need car seats). I called him and he said he got home early and wanted some space from the kids and didn’t want a random 18 year old in the house. I had to leave work early to let the kids in. While I was talking to the nanny, she told me he was always home when she got home with the kids and that he was always difficult (demanding that she and the kids stay in one of the kids rooms, ignoring the kids if they tried to talk to him, getting mad at her for leaving the room for a snack). That was the straw that broke the camels back for me. I filed for divorce by the end of the next week and the kids and I moved out by the end of the next month. I ended up letting go of that nanny and now we have Amina, 24. Amina is a middle eastern refugee with 3 kids of her own, 2, 4 and 7. Hiring Amina is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I get to come home every day to a clean house, homework done, and some of the best Arabic food I’ve ever had. I have no idea how she manages to do everything but having her around means I get to enjoy my time with my kids, instead of trying to make dinner, clean up, and get my 8 year old to do her homework. She does the grocery shopping, keeps track of school events, and even handles things like clothes shopping for the kids and school supply shopping. My STBX never did any of that. I once left him with the kids for a week while I went on a work trip. They lived on McDonald’s and pizza, which wreaked havoc on my 8 year old’s stomach. The house was in the worst shape I’d ever seen it. Our 2 year old (at the time) ran out of clean clothes and he bought her new clothes instead of washing her dirty clothes. My stbx has been asking about getting back together. He says us being together is better for the kids. I told him he’s never thought about what’s good for the kids. Even when he takes them for the weekend, all they do is go to grandmas house. I asked why I should go back to him when Amina does more for us than he ever did. He argued that he works to provide for us but thought it was different from me also working (apparently close to double the hours he worked and for similar money). Now his family is accusing me of being a bad mom and saying if I cared about the kids I’d want them to have 2 parents. AITA?

2025-09-27 19:16:04

Clara Jensen

Family

AITA for telling my mom that I don’t give a f*ck about my autistic brother?

My (16F) parents didn’t have much time for me after my brother (9M) was born and it got even worse after he was diagnosed with autism when he was 3. My dad is rarely home and my mom is always busy with my brother so neither of them have time for me. I’ve known my best friend “Rachel” since we were in kindergarten. Her mom is the nicest person I’ve ever met. Rachel and I played soccer but my mom was rarely able to take me to practices and games so Rachel’s mom would always take me. I used to be in the school choir and my parents went to like one performance during the six years I did it. Rachel’s mom was at every performance for me even though Rachel wasn’t in choir. Those are just a few examples, but Rachel’s mom has always been there for me when my parents weren’t available. My mom never really cares what I’m doing unless she needs me to watch my brother so I spend a lot of time at Rachel’s house. Once I spent a whole weekend there and my mom didn’t even call to ask where I am. Rachel’s family go on a lot of vacations and they often take me. They’re going to ....⬇️

2025-08-17 18:33:20

Jonas Bergström

Family

AITA for wearing the same color as the bride as a wedding harpist and not changing?

So I (f18) was asked to play the harp at a friend of my fathers wedding. Normally, I would ask for payment beforehand, but since it was a family friend, they asked if they could just pay me at the reception and I told them yes. The dates worked out for me, and it was set in a church about 1 hour from my house. I showed the dress I planned to wear to the bride when we went over the music she wanted and at the rehearsal, but only on a hanger. It looks like it would be ugly on a hanger, as it’s just navy blue with long sleeves and floor length, but it’s surprisingly pretty. I got to the venue about 4 hours early, so my harp would have time to acclimate to the room. When I got there, the brides mother came to give me my corsage, and when she saw me, she demanded I change my dress. I laughed because I’ve known her for years, and then realized she wasn’t joking. I asked what was wrong with it and she said that the bride went with a non traditional dress that was also navy blue. I panicked a little, because this is her wedding and I felt really bad, but she and her groom had approved it twice. I told the mother, and she asked if I had any other color I could change into. I don’t bring extra dresses unless my dress somehow doesn’t get approved beforehand, so I didn’t. She then told me to go to the bridal shop 20 minutes away, and buy a new dress. I refused, because those dresses would cost about what I was getting paid for this wedding, and I told her I couldn’t afford it. I felt bad, but she begrudgingly walked away. The actual wedding went smoothly, and after everyone else had left the church and congratulated the bride, I stopped to talk to her. I explained what the mother in law said, and she said that it was fine and that they weren’t thinking when they approved my dress. At the reception, when I talked for he mother in law about payment, she refused to pay me. I didn’t want to cause a scene, but the bride came over and heard us talking. This time, she was also upset with me and also refused to pay me. I didn’t know what to do. As my parents were busy and couldn’t attend this wedding, I didn’t have anyone there to back me up. A lot of people assume harpists come from a lot of money because of how expensive harps are, but I’ve been renting a harp since 4th grade, and when my teacher passed, we bought it for an amazing deal. I also charge a lot less than most musicians would, but I have a college payment due in a few days and I can’t afford it. I got my parents involved when I got home, and my dad talked to his friend (the father of the groom) who was there when they approved the dress, and he got the payment to me. I still feel really bad, but I don’t think there was anything I could have done. Should I have just sucked it up and bought a new dress? AITA?

2025-09-15 13:12:54

Anya Petrova

Family

AITAH for losing my shit and screaming at my gf to get out of my house after what her stepbrother did?

Gf was over at my place two days ago. We're both 20. She has a stepbrother who's 23, before this I'd only met him a few times and he seemed like a regular dude. She asked if it was okay for him to come over too for a couple of hours, I said why not. He said he would get booze and pizza, and my parents were away visiting relatives for the weekend so I figured we could shoot the shit. I have a little sister who's 15. They came over, and she stayed up in her room the entire time. We were all a bit tipsy and my gf's stepbrother asked if he could use the washroom. I pointed him to the one down the hall. My gf and I were preoccupied and didn't even realise how much time he was taking until we heard raised voices upstairs. We immediately went up to check what was going on and found my sister crying. Dude had gone up instead of using the washroom. My sister's door had been ajar so he apparently walked in (all details I managed to wrangle from my crying sister btw). She was taken by shock and was trying to stay calm but he wasn't leaving, he was trying to chat her up. She told him to gtfo and he closed the door behind him instead, which is why she started freaking out. She tried to get past him to open the door and he grabbed her but she opened it anyway, and I'd reached the landing by then so he backed off. Obviously I was super fucking pissed. There was a lot of screaming going on, lots of accusations. We were all drunk except for my sister. After getting the story from her, gf's stepbrother was stuttering and deflecting. I'm pretty sure i threatened violence at some point. My gf was trying to be the "mediator", she said i had to calm down and couldn't fly off the handle based off word of mouth. But i was there, I saw my sister crying in panic, I know what she's like and I know she wouldn't lie about something like this, why would she? I told her stepbrother to get out of my house. My gf kept saying we could sort this out and have a proper conversation but I didn't see what conversation was there to be had. Eventually she said what if my sister was lying. In front of my sister's face. I asked her what on earth would make her think that, and she said she's a kid and could be making it up for attention. Like the title said, I lost my shit. I told her to get the fuck out and afterwards she kept calling me but I ignored everything. The dust has settled a bit. I went over everything again with my little sister, she promised me it had happened the way she was telling me, she told me she was scared he was going to SA her. My gf texted me this morning saying I shouldn't have raised my voice like that and I scared her. I thought of apologising then but she still hadn't said a word about apologising to my sister or addressing the issue with her stepbrother. I only replied that we had to talk, and she said there's nothing to talk about, there's no hard "proof" in her words. Idk if I'm the asshole for the way i handled this, maybe if cooler heads prevailed this silent treatment wouldn't have happened and we could have discussed everything. Idk what to do from now on either. I love that girl, I don't want us to be over so i want some advice on where to go from here too.

2025-10-11 20:48:44

Clara Jensen

Family

AITA for wearing a sage green dress for a wedding?

POSTED A SMALL UPDATE ON MY PAGE ABOUT THE GROOM AND WHAY POSSIBLY TRIGGERED THE BRIDE EDIT: I posted the messages and a similar dress on my profile :) EDIT 2: IT WAS 32°C IN AN OPEN AREA! Everyone was wearing short sleeve, strapless or/and spaghetti strap EDIT 3 (update): Showed my parents the messages and now they're pressing charges LAST EDIT: Please DO NOT send me messages asking for my pics. I am not comfortable with it, so stop. I recently attended a wedding and now the bride has been accusing me of destroying her big day. I am 17yrs old, and the wedding it's from my dad's friend daughter. One of her demands was for girls to be modest, simple colour, and makeup. The request was okay to me because it was her event. The big day came and I wore a satin sage dress, which is beautiful, but still modest, and for the makeup it was just some shimmery eyeshadow with some transparent gloss. During the wedding, the bride's mom suddenly asked to talk to me alone which was weird, since she should've been talking to my dad instead. She bought me to the bride's dressing room and it was awkward. The bride started to berate me for wearing the dress saying I'm too flashy, I'm stealing her spotlight and gave me the alternative to leave the wedding or wear a black dress who's double my size, and remove my makeup. I refused, because the outfit the bride wanted me to wear would've been too bothersome for me to be pulling the dress all the time plus my parents would be asking about my original dress. The bride started crying, and I told my parents everything she demanded, than they got angry at her. Because of it, they said they're not going to give any wedding money to her, which lead to a fight between my dad and his friend. Today the bride sent me hateful messages saying I ruined her wedding. AITA?

2025-10-01 08:42:42

Clara Jensen

Family

AITA for not going to my sister in laws wedding due to her dress code

I 25f am having a conflict with my husbands sister 36f. She is getting married in 2 weeks and her dress code is incredibly complicated to adhere to for me. It is black tie, long sleeves and floor length gowns. The conflict happened because I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and overheat very quickly, and the wedding is entirely outside, in the middle of the day, in the southern USA where it is incredibly hot, I cannot be in a long sleeve floor length gown in the heat for 8 hours. I have sent her a few dresses to try to compromise which I will link in the comments for further information but she is completely adamant about exactly what she wants. I told her yesterday that I cannot attend her wedding if she is not going to budge even slightly on the dress code. I told her she has the right to have her wedding exactly how she wants it, for it to be her perfect day but I have the right to look out for my own health. She freaked out at me and told me I was being incredibly selfish and that “for once it isn’t about me and my fucking baby” which she only said because she’s jealous I’m having the first grandchild and she felt like she should have had a baby before me and my husband. Since then my husbands side of the family has told me I’m being selfish and to just compromise one day to keep the peace. I don’t think I should need to compromise my health for her wedding. Am I the asshole and being unreasonable? Edit: here are a few examples of the dresses I offered to wear [dress #1](https://www.jjshouse.com/a-line-scoop-floor-length-lace-evening-dress-017275293-g275293?currency=USD&utm_term=275293&utm_size=06&country=US&ggntk=x&ggkey=&ggtgt=17&ggplm=&gbraid=0AAAAADmGZzSJ3BiN7qDtwp6kOh3FweVuF&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgNanBhDUARIsAAeIcAsI6j2hOcNRILk9Ul_iq2k82b5DNO0OiNed9pBO3T2ls6We9IgNrBAaAhoXEALw_wcB#/) [dress #2](https://www.asos.com/us/beauut/beauut-maternity-bridesmaid-tulle-maxi-dress-with-flutter-sleeves-in-mist/prd/204382802?affid=28179&_cclid=Google_Cj0KCQjwgNanBhDUARIsAAeIcAsR2Js0As10IQq1SUy3pC79ckoyJpD7BXmK8pm_zeDS_h3LaeM6U0AaAsMfEALw_wcB&channelref=product+search&mk=abc&ppcadref=11302983040{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f}7C111197600375{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f}7Cpla-294682000766&cpn=11302983040&gbraid=0AAAAADqFjOBnBXpad-2aSoJSNm28mKwOV&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgNanBhDUARIsAAeIcAsR2Js0As10IQq1SUy3pC79ckoyJpD7BXmK8pm_zeDS_h3LaeM6U0AaAsMfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds) [dress #3](https://www.asos.com/us/asos-design/asos-design-maternity-embellished-tiered-midi-dress-with-wild-bloom-floral-embrodiery-in-navy/prd/203836828?affid=28179&_cclid=Google_Cj0KCQjwgNanBhDUARIsAAeIcAu0Ze5y5kyOgpYTn9jgbUd0o93wvQ5PVocbSyyGz9q7raVUC4JYKZEaAptHEALw_wcB&channelref=product+search&mk=abc&ppcadref=11302983040{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f}7C111197600375{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f}7Cpla-294682000766&cpn=11302983040&gbraid=0AAAAADqFjOBnBXpad-2aSoJSNm28mKwOV&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgNanBhDUARIsAAeIcAu0Ze5y5kyOgpYTn9jgbUd0o93wvQ5PVocbSyyGz9q7raVUC4JYKZEaAptHEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds) Edit #2: hello everyone from R/amitheangel I cannot respond to comments on your cross post but you are taking my comments out of context. Also I do not know who or from what subreddit are messaging me but please keep your fucking disgusting anti natalism out of my messages.

2025-09-15 13:46:31

Luca Moretti

Family

AITA for kicking my maid of honor out of my wedding with 5 days notice?

Update is now on my profile! I’m (23F) getting married in a couple days. Most of this is in the last two weeks. My MOH (26F), M, was in charge of planning my bachelorette party, which I wanted to be a surprise. We live in a city, but none of us live downtown, so I was hoping for a hotel room downtown and having a fun night out with friends, maybe a brunch. Most of the bridal party live locally, but two girls flew in for it. When M picked me up 2 weeks ago on Friday , I was excited to see where we were going and what we were doing. We ended up going to M’s 1 bedroom townhome and spent the whole weekend there. There are 8 of us, so it was cramped and we kept running into issues with only 1 bathroom. On Friday night we had games and ordered pizza, Saturday we had a mimosa bar, went shopping, ordered food, and watched a movie, before parting ways on Sunday. It wasn’t the bachelorette party of my dreams, or a particularly fun weekend, but it was ok, and I appreciated it. Last weekend, my fiancé (32m), J, had just returned from a work trip. I hadn’t caught him up to speed on the party, because there wasn’t much to report. But when he returned, we were chatting and I told him about the party. He looked confused but said nothing else that evening. The next day, I got a message from M asking to meet up to talk about “something.” M revealed that J had given her a significant amount of money over a year ago, with the intention that it was used to pay for a bachelorette party. It would have been enough to pay for the entire bridal party to do a week long vacation out of town, including airfare, hotel, food, drinks, and fun. I wasn’t expecting this type of event; a weekend downtown would have been wonderful, and even though the party at her home wasn’t what I hoped for, I was fine with it because I got to be with all of my friends. She, instead, used the money to pay off credit card debt and hoped that no one would notice. I told her I needed some time to process and went home. After talking with J about it, I decided, that the best action would be to remove her from the wedding. I came to this decision because I don’t feel I can trust her and don’t want her to be standing next to me at my wedding. I slept on it overnight and sent her a text saying this on Monday. Since then, I have been getting texts from her mom and boyfriend telling me how awful I am for doing this since I didn’t need a big party and M was able to financially benefit . My mom is also against removing her from the wedding, as she’s like a sister to our family and it would be tragic for me to get married without M there. The rest of the bridal party is split, with half saying I shouldn’t have kicked her out and the other half agreeing with me. M has called me crying because she already has her dress (J and I paid for all dresses) and she can’t wear it anywhere else. At this point, I want the wedding to be over with so I can be on my honeymoon and not have to deal with these people. So, was my action too extreme? AITA?

2025-10-07 11:45:40

Luca Moretti

Family

AITA for telling my sister's fiance about her past

**Edit: Okay, I am the asshole. I accept that.** **However, I have seen no convincing arguments about why Josh doesn't deserve to know before getting married, and everyone here has just disregarded his feelings out of hatred for my actions (fair enough).** **Given that, I don't regret my actions, and will do it again if she doesn't tell her future partners before getting married. I am an asshole, but a necessary asshole.** ----------------------------- My sister (30) is engaged to a guy (33), let's call him Josh. Josh is a very well established guy, very nice to my sister and our family, does a lot for us. Josh and my sister announced their engagement a couple of months ago at a family dinner. Obviously everyone celebrates at the news and has a great night.... Except for me. I took my sister aside later in the night and asked her if she had told him about her "past". My sister went through an extremely "sex positive" phase in college and slept with easily over 100 guys (we're twins btw, so always been close). She said it didn't matter, it was the past, etc. Fair enough, it shouldn't matter, but I think Josh deserves to know this before he marries my sister. Not every man is comfortable with marrying someone with such an extensive list of past sexual partners. So anyway I tell her if she doesn't tell him, I will. I give her a month. She doesn't tell him. Meanwhile they're going full steam ahead planning the wedding. I give her one last chance, a few more weeks to come clean, she doesn't. So I told Josh all I knew about her sexual past. He thanks me, but doesn't take the news well. Apparantly my sister has been presenting herself as a sexually-shy kind of girl. (**edit: she lied and said he was her third sexual partner**). Completely blindsided him. He's put the wedding on hold and hasn't spoken to my sister for several days. Says he needs time alone to think. As you can imagine, everyone in my family is blaming me for ruining my sister's wedding (I guess I kind of did). Josh's family is kind of neutral, though they're obviously offering Josh emotional support and thanking me for my honesty. AITA?

2025-09-22 11:18:14

Clara Jensen

Family

AITA for calling out step-family’s dirty laundry at Thanksgiving after they criticized me for being unmarried?

I’m still getting shit for this from my family so it’s possible I may be a bit of the AH here. I’m 29F, the players are my mom, step-dad, and four step-siblings (35M, 37M, 40F, 42M) and their families. I’m the black sheep in that I’m the only one not married with kids, but that’s by my preference. I love living alone, I don’t want kids, and having a partner just isn’t that important to me. My family has been asking me when I’m going to get a boyfriend and settle down since I was 19 and the answer has always been “ew, never”. I was going to skip Thanksgiving, but my mom insisted that she wanted everyone home this year if possible so I went. It was the usual drill, but youngest step-brother and his wife are having another kid so that was the big announcement. This was fine until around the end of dinner one of the SSILs asks if I’m not anxious to have kids since I’m almost 30 and time is running out. I laughed and said “Nah, I’m good.” That led to one of the step-brothers saying that every family needs an old maiden aunt and some other comments I didn’t appreciate. I said let’s move on, but my mom said “We’re just worried about you.” This is where I’m possibly the AH. I know all the family dirt so I said, “Well, I’m the only person at this table that’s not an alcoholic, a cheater, or constantly broke af because I have more kids than I can afford so I’m not the one to worry about.” And that’s how I brought Thanksgiving to a dead halt and no one said a thing for the rest of dinner, but my texts are radioactive still. I feel like it was probably riding the line and my mom says this has caused a lot of problems among the siblings, but also they kinda started it.

2025-09-24 13:29:53

Luca Moretti

Family

AITA for telling my son he doesn't have to respect his step mother anymore?

My wife and I have a hers, mine, and ours situation. She came into the marriage with a now 5 year old. I have a 12 year old. We have 1.5 year old twins together (thanks clomid). We have a 2 bedroom house with a finished basement and a sort of nursery room that my wife uses as an office. The girls use the second bedroom and my son has the basement. There was a house fire two weeks ago in the middle of the night while I was gone helping my parents. My wife immediately collected the girls and the babies diaper bag. She said she yelled "fire" and thought that my son had already run out the door from the basement, and that she felt the highest priority was getting the babies out because she has seen how quickly young children die in fires. Which is almost understandable if she went looking for him outside. However. She went BACK INTO THE HOUSE, went TO THE KITCHEN, packed 5s insulin (T1 diabetic) and ran back out without checking the basement which is right there. My son is fine now thanks to the firemen, but suffered some lung damage. It will take years for his lungs to fully recover. Sports in high school? Likely gone. He's not on oxygen or anything but he can't do sports for a long while. My wife and I have been fighting bitterly since then. Divorce isn't an option or it would be on the table (we would both be homeless). She has always complained that my son has never listened to or respected or in the past, while my son always said that he felt like she didn't like him. I asked her why he would respect her, when she truly proved that she would hold everything, even insulin, over his life. I know insulin is expensive, but it's the principle. I told my son that I was sorry I didn't see the truth before and that he didn't have to respect or listen to my wife anymore, but that financially we all just have to live in the same house and deal with each other so just treat her like any passing stranger. She argued with me saying that I was just giving him a free pass to "make her life hell". Quite frankly, turnabout seems like fair play. AITA? **EDIT** My wife is not the diabetic. The 5 year old is. "5" refers to the 5 year old.

2025-10-07 05:28:14

Luca Moretti

Family

AITA for refusing to cut my hair for my father's wedding?

Dad (42) and my his fiancee (Alice 28) are getting married in November this year. I (15f) didn't really like Alice because I think she replaced my mom too soon. My mom died of cancer 2 years ago and she and dad started dating 8 months after. I try to be as polite as I can whenever she's around or starts a conversation with me. Dad never forced me to have a relationship with her and I can also see that she's not interested in having one. After they got engaged, Alice approached me and said we needed to talk. She said she has a clear vision of how she wants her wedding to be and that I have to comply so that everything will be perfect. I said sure and asked her what I need to do. She said, "first, I want you to cut your hair short; second, you can't wear heels and lastly, only wear light make up and no fake lashes. Okay?" I let her finish before I responded. I said I can do the second and third but I will not be cutting my hair. My mom loves my hair and helped me grow them thick and healthy. I got my blonde wavy hair from my mom so I will keep it long. Alice accused me of wanting to upstage her. I said that's not what I'm trying to do and I think it's unfair since I know she didn't make these demands on her other female guests. She then called me a selfish brat and told me she'll tell my dad about how I "disrespected her". My dad then got involved and told me to just cut my hair because it will grow back anyway. I said her request is ridiculous and I'd rather not attend their wedding than to cut my hair. I think I have put my dad in a tight situation and I am now considering cutting my hair because I know my presence in the wedding will make my dad happy. But growing my hair back to lower back length will take a long time. AITA if I refuse to cut my hair? Edit: I am 5'7 while Alice is 5'6 so I kinda understand why she wants me to wear flats. I offered to tie my hair or put it in a bun but she said that won't do. I am not part of the entourage. Edit 2: Yes, I look a lot like my mom. I got my hair, eyes and smile from her. Edit 3: Thank you so much for all your kind words. My mom's parents live in Ireland. Dad's parents live in Colorado (we're in Florida) but I do talk to them 2-3 times a week. I will follow all your advise and be on guard for my hair. Again thank you all. I appreciate your condolences and kind words. Edit 4: I am overwhelmed by the love and support you guys have given. Thank you for the validation. I WILL NOT CUT MY HAIR. If it means not going to the wedding, then I will just stay with my mom's sister (in Georgia) on that day. To everyone who expressed their concerns about inheritance/will, I don't really mind if dad gave everything to his future family. He and mom (surgeon) has separate bank accounts and mom left everything to me. Yes, I have an Irish passport. But I will not be studying there as I plan to get in to Johns Hopkins university and be a surgeon like mom.

2025-09-15 18:33:31

Elise Dubois

Family

Aita? For not letting my brother in law see my girls after he called CPS on me?

I F33 lost my husband in an accident and he passed away shortly after he arrived at the hospital We have two girls who are 9 and 5 and It's been very devastating and very difficult to be taking care of them while going through these tough times. My mom would help a lot and I'm so thankful for that. My in-laws have been keeping to themselves but my brother in law would visit often to see the girls. He has always wanted kids on his own but hasn't been able to because his wife has medical issues. He treats my girls well. And has been generous but treats me poorly and makes comments and criticizes my parenting often. He implied he wanted to be their guardian but I told him no. He started demanding I bring the girls over to my in-laws house. And would get upset when I tell him I have work. He'd claim I'm clearly not taking care of the girls and don't fit to be a single parent. We got into a huge argument after I told him I no longer will be welcoming him into my house because of his behavior. And he the reported me to CPS after I refused to let him into my house. He claimed that I'm not taking good care of my girls needs/refusing to let them see their grandparents/being busy with work and other things I don't know about. I had to deal with CPS once then after they did a surprise visit and thank goodness it went well although I was told to deal with some issues that are normal in every family. I told my in-laws about what my brother in law did but didn't do anything. His wife was the one who told me eventually. It's been over a month now. My inlaws are calling to tell me that i should let my brother see the girls after I told them that only them see my girls. I refused to let him see the girls after what he did and the disrespect he shown but my in-laws are pressuring me saying these are their granddaughters and I have no right to act like this just out of spite. Edit to say that the issues I'm dealing with are trying to balance my working hours with the time I spend with the girls. I have my mom either come over or take them to her house so I could pick them up after I get off work. Another thing is therapy and my girls are currently in therapy. I'm trying to take it slow but it's just so overwhelming and then to have to deal with my brother in law's behavior is just a lot for me and there isn't anything more I want than to spend time with my girls but I have to work since no one is willing to help with anything. I'm not the person who feels comfortable asking for help so I do all I can. My brother in law says he wants to see the girls because it's been a while since he saw them and he misses them a lot but I don't want him around after what he did. I can't even look at him after this he made my grieve worse and I won't be able to forgive him soon.

2025-09-15 13:09:03

Luca Moretti

Family

AITA for showing no sympathy for my brother and my stbex-wife after the loss of their baby and for refusing to let my parents talk to me about it?

I'm getting divorced from my wife, and I'll call her my wife in the post for clarity, of a decade. We have three kids together, two school aged and one preschool aged child. The last two years of our marriage were rough and I had no idea why. She pretended things were all good when talking to me, but complained about me to her family and friends non-stop. When I told her she could talk to me she was saying her family and friends were just trying to stir some shit and she wouldn't say I was lazy and ignored her which was a lot of what I was told. She said we'd get back to normal once all three kids were in school and we had more time for us. Then I found out she was having an affair with my brother. I found out via his ex-girlfriend who sent a photo of them kissing outside my brother's place. He broke up with her before the affair was revealed but he said a lot of shit about her and how she was paranoid and didn't trust him and she was proven to be right. When my wife said she was pregnant I knew the baby was my brother's and there was zero way for me to be the father. She tried to tell everyone she didn't know but the three of us knew. She knew we hadn't had sex in years. She was using the baby to try and make me more agreeable but I told her our marriage was over and I filed for divorce. She moved in with my brother and tried to take the kids but I stopped her because he lives 2.5 hours away and our school aged kids were not going to be able to make a 3 hour each way drive to school. Temporary custody was granted to me with visitation being granted to her. My parents were shocked and angry at my brother when I told them. He tried giving me shit for making them go after him and her when she was pregnant. I muted him because I didn't want to hear the BS but I also wanted to make sure everything in the divorce and custody went smoothly and I hope to maintain primary custody so I'll need to show they are better off with me. My parents did end up accepting them as a couple. I said I could understand them not giving up a child and grandchild but I don't want to hear about them. They said they respected this. A few weeks ago my wife had a stillborn baby. She and my brother blamed me for all the stress I put her under. She said being apart from our kids as much as she is was the biggest cause of her miscarriage and she sent a lot of vile texts and I replied to none of them. He also sent a number of them which I documented with hers. My parents came over to tell me about what happened and were shocked that I knew. They asked what I had said to my brother and wife. I told them nothing. I said I wasn't going to offer any sympathy to either of them after they did the dirty on me and fucked up mine and my kids' lives. My parents tried to talk about the loss and the baby and everything surrounding it but I shut it down and told them I was not going to be their shoulder to cry on or listening ear. I said my wish not to hear anything about my brother or wife had not changed because they lost a baby. They left my house angry and it took a couple of weeks for them to reach out again. They asked if I would be so rude to them again and I said if they tried to talk about this then yes. They asked if I had reached out to my brother and wife and I said no. They told me they had hoped to see me at the service and I told them it wouldn't happen. They said I didn't need to become such a cold hearted monster and times like these is where you put away the hate. I don't agree but I'm willing to entertain that maybe I'm wrong. AITA?

2025-10-07 12:13:56

Jonas Bergström

Family

AITA for uninviting my parents to my wedding after my mom said “I don’t care about your fucking wedding”?

I’m engaged to the love of my life. We’ll call her Sarah. Sarah doesn’t have issues with my parents but there is a little tension on both sides and no one has attempted to be close, which is fine I guess. It makes me a little sad that they are not more excited about her. Sarah asked my mom the other day if she would help make centerpieces. Sarah is into DIY but we are running out of time and she was asking around to see who would be willing to help. She admitted to my mom that it was kind of grunt work and if she didn’t want to, no pressure. My mom got offended and said of course she doesn’t want to, we haven’t cared about her at all, so she doesn’t care about our fucking wedding. This hurt Sarah but she didn’t fight back. Sarah told me and I called my mom. Honestly I probably went into it a big aggressively, but I yelled at her for saying that to Sarah. My mom said that Sarah hasn’t included her in any of the fun parts, or cared about her opinion on anything, so why would she help make centerpieces. I asked her to apologize to Sarah and my mom said no, she was done talking about it, so I uninvited her to the wedding. My dad sent me a text, because I said he could still come, and pretty much told me to fuck off if I thought he would come without my mom. My mom is now upset because everyone is going to ask where she is. Sarah is very happy and feels like I defended her, and literally everyone else thinks I’m the asshole.

2025-10-07 12:11:36

Clara Jensen

Family

My boyfriend said women need to "serve" men in his family as it's a tradition. I'm beyond upset.

My bf (28M) and I (24F) have been dating for roughly 2 years now. I've never met his family in person (they know of me) as they live quite far away and we're all busy with life. But recently, there was a family event for his nephew's first birthday. I went to the event with my bf and meeting his family and relatives was nice. They were sweet people and said they were happy to have me there. But once the dinner time came, my bf, who has never ever asked me of anything suddenly told me to 'get me my plate and food.' I was confused at first but then noticed that all the women present were taking care of handling the food to their partners. Instead of telling him anything, I just decided to do it. But the next thing was asking me to 'get him water' and then next 'get me tissues' and then next 'let's go wash hands' even when I wasn't done eating?? I was so baffled the whole time because I wanted to tell him to knock it off but given how all the men in the room was doing the same and the women following them, I didn't say anything until the event was over. Once it was done and we were going back, I asked him what tf was going on and was genuinely upset and he told me that's how his family tradition is and since men are far superior than women are, they're meant to serve and that of course I'll have to do the same once we get married so I need to warm up to it now?? This was possibly the weirdest and most awful conversation I've had with him because he's never brought up anything about his family or this tradition until I met them in person. He's never even mentioned any of this UNTIL now. I got so upset by the fact that he sees women as inferior but then he said it was not about inferiority but women are a good subset of humans that are more emotionally evolved to serve than men are, so it's a waste for them to not act that way?? He said us serving isn't a bad thing but actually a great thing that shows respect to our partners. We argued for a long time and he said I needed to consider my relationship with him if I wanted to marry him. We've had marriage talks since my own family is asking to consider him as well and I had no issues with it since he's a nice guy and always been good to me. It's just that he's never been this way and him bringing up tradition and knowing his opinion on women serving men and all that is making me consider my relationship. I haven't talked to him since and he's been saying sorry for making me upset and that I should stop being sensitive over a simple thing that I'll eventually get used to. But I'm not sure if this tradition is something that's normal to his culture and I'm reading too much between these lines. It's not that I wouldn't get him his plates or tissues but it's the context behind it that I do not like. Idk if I sound affirming of what he is saying but I'm not. I'm seriously conflicted over how his personality just seem to have changed and need some insight because I thought he was the perfect guy for me until this happened. Should I talk this out with him or something?

2025-10-12 12:00:09

Anya Petrova

WIBTA

WIBTA if I sued my sister for the house that was willed to all three of us?

I (40M) recently lost my father (76M). I have two siblings, my twin brother and older sister (44). We all grew up together in my parents's house. It is a large multi story 5 bedroom house worth almost half a million dollars. My father's will stated that his assets, cash, house, etc... were to be divided equally among the three of us. While in town for my father's funeral, I asked my siblings when a good time would be to meet up about putting the house on the market. My sister told me that there was no need, because my father had sold the house prior to his death. I was confused, because he was still living in it. My sister went on to explain that my father had been sick for years and was deep in debt, so he'd needed to sell the house. Of course, with his health as poor as it was, that would be a complicated undertaking. So my sister and her husband bought the house with the understanding that he would continue living there for free. I was flabbergasted. When my father died, he only had about 120K in liquid assets. Her story made no sense to me. I demanded details. She said that the mortgage lender would only approve them for 375k, which is far less than the house is worth. My dad apparently spent the other 250k paying off his debts, paying for treatments and "maintaining his quality of life" as my sister put it. So basically she's telling me my inheritance is 40k and no more while she gets that + a house. I called her a thief that took advantage of our father when he was vulnerable. She basically pocketed the difference in the value of the house out of my inheritance. She got really mad. She told me that she and her husband have been struggling to pay two mortgages for years while also raising four kids (not my kids, not my problem) and getting no income from the second house, but that was her CHOICE, and she got a house out of it. She started yelling at me and crying, so her husband intervened and took her away. I turned to my brother for support, but he just shrugged and said he couldn't find it within him to care about a house after we just buried Dad. I miss Dad too, and I hate fighting with my sister, but what she did was wrong. I've reached out to a lawyer and am planning to sue my sister, but I'm nervous. I know this will permanently fracture my family. I just want what's rightfully mine, but is it worth blowing up my sister's life? AITA?

2025-10-07 11:42:17

Clara Jensen

Family

AITA for refusing to serve my in-law's the meals they request?

My in-law's are big food people and take offense quickly when people do not like their food or do not like certain elements. I despite mushrooms. I have never been willing to eat them with a dinner. The first time I had dinner with them I bypassed all the mushrooms on my plate. They took notice, asked me about them, and when I told them they made sure the next time the mushroom couldn't be bypassed. It became a thing where they would go out of their way to serve mushrooms whenever I was around or cover shit in a mushroom sauce. I figured it would get better especially with my husband calling them out over the pettiness. But nah. They then started getting more demanding of what we cook for them when we host and serving shit they know I don't like, so I decided nah, this is dumb, and I now cook what I feel like and they can eat it or leave it, no catering to their tastes involved. They have said I am turning down perfectly good dinner requests and all this shit. And they are making me out to be the bad guy. My husband told them they were acting like kids. AITA?

2025-09-22 11:25:29

Elise Dubois

Family

AITAH for exposing my fiancé to his family and ruining his life?

Me(25F) and my fiance(26M) have been together for a decade and have our first child. Our relationship hasn’t always been rainbows and sunshine but it was steady and solid. Or so I thought. I just gave birth to our first child last November and is a sahm. Something we both decided and agreed to. My savings are substantial since I earned really good money and saved early on. My savings was gonna be used for our baby’s necessities while his income will cover the bills. The condo and two cars are under my name. The condo and my car are paid off. It’s only his car that is not. I put down half of the amount as a down payment so the monthly payments are not that high plus with my good credit, the interest was low. I did have plans on paying off his car and putting it in his when I got back to work. I’m currently on a 6mo hiatus from work due to sepsis from my c-section and other birth complications. Giving birth to our first child nearly killed me. I came back from my postpartum appointment last week and heard my fiancé’s diabolical plan. I did not expect to record it but the timing was just perfect. Let me set the stage. As I said I came home from my postpartum appointment and was told I have the green light to devour my fiancé. I gleefully went to VS to get lingeries and matching bras and panties because I was quite hot and ready to jump this man’s bones again. I was recording myself and the VS bags when I heard him. I thought it was even more perfect that he was home already and I got these goodies ready to show him. Possibly make a quick movie. So I continued recording but instead what I heard and recorded broke my heart. I’m so glad our baby can’t understand what’s going on yet because I don’t think I could handle explaining. My fiance of 10 years was cheating on me, had plans to take money from me through child support but actually have his parents take care of our baby, is planning to take the condo and cars. I am sick. I am devastated. I distraught. I am heartbroken. I stopped recording and quietly went to our bedroom with our baby and cried. I woke up to my baby crying and I felt like a zombie. I was so numb and my thoughts were all jumbled. The VS bags was still in the hallway. He laid next to me asleep and snoring while I mustered the courage to send the recording to his parents. His parents blew up his phone in the morning and he in turn, blew up on me. Calling me names, slamming doors, punching walls. He forgot that we have cameras in the house so everything is recorded. He said his parents are cutting him off and it’s all my fault. I embarrassed him and ruined his life. I had no right to record him. He said I’ll regret it and he will get everything I had. I told him to try me. I’ve already talked to a lawyer and in our state common law marriage is not recognized and the person who the child lives with does not pay child support. Seeing as everything is in my name, he has to move out. I gave him the rest of the month to move out. His parents and brother have been teaching out to me and has been very supportive and apologetic. My side of the family doesn’t know yet. He called many times and left voicemails, texts and even emails and letters since I changed lock on the doors and the code on the garage door. He wants to work it out and go to therapy. I honestly don’t want to talk to him or work it out. I just want him out. I spent a decade of my life giving this man everything. I’m not perfect or a saint but I’ve never and never will do something like that. I just want to move on. EDIT: I’m sorry for the confusion about my hiatus and being a sahm. I was already going to be on hiatus for work for 6mo pp but when we realized how much medical issues I had - me and my EX fiance decided and agreed it would be best for me to be sahm for the FIRST year of our baby’s life. It was a spontaneous decision. I was medically advised against any physical activity/labor for 16 weeks so it wasn’t like I could drive to different clinics and hospitals for work. So think of it as sahm for the first year + 6mo hiatus. I can return to work now since I’ve gotten a medical clearance. My agency doesn’t allow anyone on maternity leave to work unless there’s a medical clearance from a doctor. I’m a mobile registered medical diagnostic sonographer since there are people wondering how a 25 yr old can afford a condo and two cars. I get paid a higher rate than an in house RMDS because I travel and work for an agency. I accept whatever assignment I want for the day/week. Both cars are used, mine is paid off(15k and have had since I was 18) and the other car is 18k which I only need to pay $3.6k on since I did put half of the amount down with low interest. I’ve been working since I was 15 and saving $. I’m smart with my money. It’s expensive out here. One last edit before I give this thing a break: A lot of you need help. Messaging me telling me I ‘probably did something to deserve it’ or that I ‘probably cheated that’s why hes doing this’ or that it’s my fault he cheated because I didn’t give him sex. I went thru a near to death experience giving birth to our son. I posted this because I needed the release, I needed to see if anyone out there experienced something similar or something awful and what did they do. This whole thing has been so bad for me mentally and emotionally that I’ve hard dark thoughts but I’m thankful for the support system I have. I know posting has its negatives but a lot of you are just not cool. UPDATE : Hello, it’s me. My therapist advised against updating this and yes, I did tell my therapist I made a Reddit account but I told her why. She said sometimes it’s best to let this fade with time but if it’ll help me then I’m free to do so. So, I’m back working which has been a refreshing change because it helped my mind stay busy and focused on anything that wasn’t this nightmare. My bestfriend surprised me the day after I posted this because she said I’ve been giving her ‘depressed weirdo vibes’. So thankful for when she showed up because as I’ve mentioned I had dark thoughts and they were getting scary. She stayed with me for two weeks despite me telling her a week would be just as appreciated. She insisted that she be there for me and my baby. Her staying two weeks was very much needed truthfully because my ex reached out to my lawyer about coming to get all his things. My bestfriend made sure during the day he was there that he wouldn’t try anything funny. He did say that he’s offended that I don’t trust him to be around me and our son unattended. And how I was being dramatic by having someone be present. It took him the WHOLE day and the day felt like it dragged on forever because I was so anxious with him being around. Like that dreadful and sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach that even a sip of water makes you feel like you’re gonna throw up? Before he left he asked if we can talk before ‘permanently going our separate ways’. My therapist and bestfriend and lawyer were against it but I agreed which I later regret because this man is an a-hole. My bestfriend took my baby with her and stayed nearby. Me and my ex met up at a park and he tried to hug me but I told him I don’t want to be touched. He scoffed and said whatever. He said I don’t understand what it’s like to be a man who’s suppose to be a provider and a protector. That his friends would make fun of him for having a ‘female’ who is financially independent with her own place and car. How his friends said it makes him seem like a sugar baby and not a man. That how can he let a ‘female’ take care of him. I just stood there silently because to me it was just unacceptable and made no sense. He was there through every step and every stage that I took to get where I was at. I made sure my success was his success too. I made sure what I had, he got too. I loved this man. I lived by the promise we made when we graduated high school with a greenery of goals and inspirations in our minds about how we wanted our future to be like. I let him talk about his childhood and how hard his life was despite me being there since we were 14. He said it didn’t feel good to have someone come at his manhood. He complained about how hard life was. I asked him what made life hard and he just kept stuttering about his manhood being questioned by my independence. He said he was always anxious and stressed that I could leave him if I wanted to. I asked him did he think what he did helped his anxiety and stress about me leaving and he got upset. He called me a narcissist, a manipulator and a femmy. He said he’s sorry for our son for having a mom like me. That he won’t be paying child support. When I told him I don’t need his money, he told me to F off and left. As I said I’m not perfect and I’m far from a being a saint but I’ve never had any mind or intentions of doing anyone I love wrong. What he did was beyond wrong. It was diabolical. All because he was tired of being made fun of him? He couldn’t retort with pride and dignity? He couldn’t see or feel the love and support in his surroundings? I was sick. Whatever he wanted, I was there to help him make it happen. Everything he went thru, I was there even when he pushed me away because I promise to be there thru thick and thin … now here I am pouring my worst nightmare to strangers online. I watched him walk away and I suddenly didn’t recognize the boy I crushed on in middle school. The boy I’d kiss after his basketball games in high school. The man who said he’d love me forever after the birth of our child. All the things he said replayed in my head and I realized i didn’t know him the way I prided myself I did. I finally told my side of the family of our separation. Lots of question but I did ask that they respect our privacy and give us space. Only one of my cousins knows what happened and thankfully she’s in another state because I would have to bail her out by the way she described how she was to enact her revenge on him. I haven’t told my mom but she said shes gonna be spending a few weeks at my place to help me adjust in October. My bestfriend had also offered to come back around the time my mom comes. No, I will not be pressing him about child custody or visitations. I did have my lawyer reach out to him about possibly giving up his rights. My ex’s parents begged me to change my mind about that but I assured them they can still see their grandbaby. My ex was more than happy to give up his rights. It hurt for him to easily and willingly agree because I thought he would’ve fought for our son. Also I’m thinking of moving back to Cali and selling my condo and just staying at my mom’s for a year till I save enough for a down payment but knowing Cali house prices - probably wouldn’t happen. Sorry for the ranting but honestly this whole thing got me so messed up. The people on here saying it was fake - you have no idea how I wished that was true. I wouldn’t have to uncontrollably cry whenever I’m home or looking at my baby. I wouldn’t have to feel so much angst and sadness whenever I come back from therapy or from work. All these crying and asking questions why it was happening to me wouldn’t be happening almost every night. Thank you once again to everyone who sent love and support. I’m finally closing this chapter. It’s unfinished but I’m ready to start over. Sending everyone good vibes 🫶🏼

2025-10-06 15:07:47

Luca Moretti