Family For context, I (F19) am living at home with my mother and younger brother's while my partner (M22) is securing a new job and looking for a house for us in a new town further West.
I got pregnant around early February, despite being on regular birth control after a condom broke during a holiday with my family that my partner was also invited to. So a completely unplanned, freak accident pregnancy.
Despite this, we're still both very excited to welcome our baby into the world, as we've always planned on having kids just definitely not this soon.
Anyways, my youngest brother (M13) is the golden child who gets away with anything and everything, including his overbearingly bad behavior. We've always butted heads, like to the point he would even get verbally and physically violent towards me, and my other younger brother has had to step in.
There's even been times where I've had to lock myself in the bathroom just to get away from him because he keeps going and going and following me around just talking at me to prove his point in an argument.
He's even caused me several mental breakdowns by triggering my PTSD about our now estranged father.
But, he'd been really improving lately, going to regular psychology appointments, being eerily kind towards me, and even helping me with things around the house. Actually making a real effort to fix our relationship and be kinder in general.
Things were really looking up, and we even spent a lot of time together during the family holiday and had lots of fun. He hadn't had a single outburst for months or caused any fights between us.
I truly thought we were finally going to get along...
That is, until he found out I'm pregnant.
Silly me for thinking things could really change, right?
He's downright nasty, he has truely been a little monster. Constantly sh!t stirring, degrading me and sl#tshaming me. He doesn't miss a chance to "remind me" how irresponsible I am for getting myself "knocked up".
Everytime I ask for space or for him to stop doing something he's purposely doing to irritate me, he retorts back with stuff along the lines of, "I can do what I want I live here, it's not my fault you got yourself pregnant before getting a house".
He continuously likes pointing out how I've sinned by having sex before marriage, and my pregnancy wouldn't have to be everyone else's problem if I had just waited.
(We all grew up super religious, but these days my mother could care less about such arbitrary rules, and is actually excited for a grandbaby. It's our grandmother who's strict about religion.)
The other day he ran into me, hard, with his scooter while riding it inside (which he's been told several times not to do) and really hurt my stomach. Obviously I said ow and snappily told him to watch out, to which he responds "not my fault I ran into your fat baby".
There's been other times he's "accidentally" bumped into me, specifically my stomach. One time mum actually pulled him up on it for once, to which he replied, "what? It's not my fault she's pregnant and in the way".
He's even stated, on several occasions, that after my partner and I get married he hopes I die, because he likes my partner more than me and only wants us to get married so that they can be brothers-in-law.
I've been trying to be patient with him, thinking maybe he's just feeling jealous he won't be the youngest in our family and get all of our mother's attention anymore. Despite all of his little comments and attempts at getting me to start fights with him like he used to, and purposely doing things that'll agitate me, I've remained as calm as possible and simply removed myself from the situations as soon as possible, for both my own piece of mind, and as not to disturb the strained functionality of the household.
But the other day, when I was talking to our other brother about what gender my baby might be, and name ideas my partner had thought of, he outright told me, "you should call it r3t@rd, because it's gonna come out deformed and just as stupid as you".
At this, I finally lost it.
Like how dare he insult my child like that? Insult me all you want, sure thing, I can deal with that until I get to move out, but to insult my unborn child just because you're feeling insecure or something??
Not on buddy! I screamed at him, telling him I'm sick and tired of how unfair he's been towards me lately. We got into a HUGE fight, and he tried to threaten me, so I brought up stuff he had done to me before he started going to therapy and how I wasn't afraid to call the cops on a kid if I had to.
He continued screaming back at me until he had me backed against a wall, at which point I actually slapped him across the face. Hard. Really hard.
I'd never physically retaliated against him before, even in the past when he had gotten physically violent. He was shocked speechless. Eyes wide, mouth finally shut. I took the opportunity to shove him away so I could get out from between him and wall, and stated firmly, "when I'm moved out I'm not letting you have anything to do with me or my child.
You will never be allowed to see it or go near it, ever. Do you understand me?" And I left the house to get some fresh air.
Of course, when mum got home from grocery shopping my little brother immediately went and cried to her and told her all about it, an overexagerated version for sure. And he had the red handprint across his face to prove his sob story.
My mum rings me up, yelling and cussing at me and telling me I need to be the bigger person. I tried to explain my side of the story, but she was having none of it, told me that it was no excuse and I had no right to hit her precious little baby even if he was being a prick.
She told me what I had said was going way too far, and that my brother would be having contact with my child regardless of how I felt about him or what he'd done in the past. That if she was going to be in my child's life, then he would be too, and I had no say in the matter, because he would "be a good uncle" and deserves a relationship with his niece or nephew.
She then went on a whole guilt trip, reminding me how much my brother has been trying so hard to better himself with therapy and helping out with the community through the youth center at the local church, and how well we were getting along on holiday and how much he's been helping her out lately.
And then basically told me I was overreacting about everything because of pregnancy hormones and I'd get over it all once the baby was born.
I scoffed and told her plain and simple, I was not ever letting that Satan spawn near my child, then hung up.
She's been sour with me for days, and even stated making her own underhanded comments towards me now. Making me feel bad for what I said, and trying to make me apologize to my brother.
She says I'm being unfair and a b!tch.
So guys, am I a b!tch for finally standing up for myself and standing my ground on not letting my brother have contact when I move out and baby is born?
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Edit: popular asked questions.
• My Partner went no contact with his abusive parents, his family disowned him because of this. No I can't stay with them.
• I have no other family I can stay with, my grandmother's place was destroyed in the recent floods.
• I'm no-contact with my father and have no idea where he is.
•I have no friends in the state that I can stay with. My Partner is staying with a guy he met in highschool that lives in the town we're moving to, it's a studio apartment and he's sleeping on the couch.
They don't know each other all that well, and I don't know the guy at all.
• The women's shelter in my town is run by the church that my brother attends and volunteers for. Everyone at church believes he's a St and I don't trust them to keep him away from me.
• I sustained a serious shoulder injury at work a few months back, and my pregnancy is considered "high risk", even if I wanted to work I am literally not allowed to.
• Yes, we are currently trying to move out. Did you skip the first part of this post???
• Yes, my midwives are aware of the situation. They've taken down notes and that's about it.
• I live in Australia, we have Centrelink, so no I'm not completely without income. On top of this I've got workers comp for the shoulder injury. I'm also indigenous so I get a little extra; free healthcare, all antenatal and ultrasound appointments, and other doctors visits are paid for by the government.
Also all hospital bills are covered by ✨Medicare✨. And I have AuDHD, so I get free therapy and support aids. Money is not a big concern rn.
• Yes, I plan on going back to work once we're settled into the new house and I am medically cleared to do so. I really don't want to have to rely on Centrelink forever, it makes me feel gross and scummy.
• I will be going no contact with little brother, and after reading the comments I have also decided to go *very* low contact with mum, as soon as I'm able to move out and have a secure living arrangement.
• Yes my partner is aware of the situation. He wants to file police reports with evidence we do have against my brother. He promised not to do anything until I'm moved out and safe first, in case little brother tries to retaliate.
