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My In-Laws Are Furious I Don't Separate The Kids' Toys By Who They Were Gifted To
Family

My In-Laws Are Furious I Don't Separate The Kids' Toys By Who They Were Gifted To

My wife and I have a three year old daughter and two year old son. I'll call them Dee and Sam for brevity. My in-laws often send us stuff for the kids, and it is usually addressed to Sam. I ignore this, as the kids are so close in age (11 months) and are at similar developmental stages. I never put much thought into why Sam's name is usually on the packages. Whenever they send a toy, it just goes in the play room, and the kids don't have individual toys, unless you count the stuffed animals they sleep with. My wife initially wanted to divide the toys into different chests for each kid. I said that didn't make sense, and it makes cleaning and organizing the room take longer. When I pick up the playroom, I organize the toys by type, and that makes them fit into less space and makes it impossible to forget what goes where, so things are easier to find. My wife admitted I was right, so that's how we've been doing things for a while. Today my in-laws were visiting and saw Dee playing with a toy. My mother in law asked why Dee had Sam's toy. I said we don't split the toys up like that. None of the toys are Sam's or Dee's. All the toys belong to Sam and Dee. My mother in law was upset, because she picked that toy out specifically for Sam. I just sort of shrugged. It's a plastic frog; there's nothing special about it. Father in law asked if I did that with everything they sent, and I said most things, but the kids do have their special stuffed animals they sleep with. Both were upset and started arguing with my wife in their language way too fast for me to keep up with, but it basically amounted to me being an ungrateful and rude asshole. Then they left. My wife said going forward we should keep toys bought for Sam separate, because it upsets her parents that the toys are communal. I said I wasn't okay with that. If we do that, we'd have to buy more stuff for Dee and less for Sam for them to have an equal number of toys. That would make Sam think we like him less than Dee and Dee think her grandparents like her less than Sam. I said if her parents aren't okay with that, they shouldn't send stuff. Now things are really tense. With her and her parents both mad at me, I'm questioning if I'm being a stubborn ass.

Clara Jensen
Girlfriend keeps sticking her fingers in my sister's business orders and now she's calling me abusive
Family

Girlfriend keeps sticking her fingers in my sister's business orders and now she's calling me abusive

My (M26) sister (F23) runs a bakery business and she’s been struggling lately to keep up with orders because she’s been short staffed. She does a lot of orders for wedding cakes that require custard or marmalade fillings, and I offered to help her out by making these fillings at home and bringing them to her so she has less work to do. Unfortunately, the past four times I’ve made these fillings, my girlfriend (F24) has literally dipped her fingers into the filling jars and contaminated them because, in her words, she “just wanted to try some.” I’ve tried explaining to her that she can’t dip her fingers in and contaminate the entire batch, because then I have to remake it. I said she should use a spoon and take some out if she wants to try so bad, but she just pouts and says that she likes using her fingers because it takes her back to her childhood. Today, I was trying to finish some chocolate custard to send it over to my sister really fast because she was running late on a wedding cake order for an important client. I told my girlfriend beforehand to not eat the custard, and if she really wanted to, to please use a spoon. I get out of the shower, and what do I see? She has her fingers in it again! I totally lost it because this is the fifth time she blatantly disregarded what I said, and I yelled at her and told her to “stop fucking eating” the food I’m making, because it’s not for her and she’s contaminating it. She started crying and got mad at me for “fat-shaming” her, even though I made no comment on her weight and she has no history of weight issues or eating disorders. I know I was harsh, but she kept pushing my limits. AITA?

Clara Jensen
Wife and Her Family Ditched Me for Dinner and She Called Me a Fat POS for Being Upset
Family

Wife and Her Family Ditched Me for Dinner and She Called Me a Fat POS for Being Upset

Hi Everyone! I (30M) have been married to the wife (30F) for almost 3 yrs.. 2 yrs ago, I moved to the other side of the country (US) for wife's job. She and her family are from the Middle-East. Her sister lives in the next state over. Each time they've visited, they go out as a family to dinner/brunch at a nice place without me. I expressed it made me uncomfortable and felt disrespectful especially considering they were staying here. This continued to happen with every visit. I expressed my increasing discomfort and anger with each occurrence. Cue current visit. They are to be here in our home from Thursday-Tuesday. After work, at 7:45 I go out to the deck for a smoke and to decompress. 8:25PM MIL comes to the deck and tells me dinner reservation is at 8:30 and to get ready. No one told me anything? I go upstairs and wife is getting ready in a room. I pop in and incredulously ask her why she didn't tell me about dinner?? Her response was: "You could have asked, couldn't you?" I tell her this is incredibly rude. She said this is about FIL's birthday. I go to my desk for more work and ask wife to let me know when she's done getting ready. SIL and wife both pass behind me while getting wife ready not saying a word. I then hear them go downstairs and the front door closing. I go downstairs and they're gone. I called wife 4 times. No answer. I am seething. I drive to cool off and get a call from wife 20min later. I go off about why she didn't say anything to me and about how they all ditched me and how this is extremely disrespectful. She says: "Oh, okay! I'll tell them you said so." They get back at 11:00 PM. SIL asks if I ate. I said yes even though I didn't. FIL looks at the TV and asks if I'm watching X. I curtly say yes. They say goodnight and go to bed. Saturday morning, I go get breakfast. I took extra time bc I wanted to be anywhere away from them. I get a msg from FIL: "We are making brunch for everyone." Wife txtd asking where I am. I didn't reply. FIL and MIL are in the kitchen saying brunch is ready and to please eat. I tell them "I ate." before heading upstairs to my desk to game for the first time in months. Wife comes and says something but I can't hear her. 6:30 PM I go downstairs to heat up food. SIL is on the couch. Wife, MIL, and FIL walk downstairs. No one says anything to me. Wife is on the middle of the stairs when she yells: "Is everyone stressed out and quiet because of that RUDE, boring, BUZZKILL!? Don't let that fat POS ruin your day." I respond: "Oh, look. It's a talking garbage can. Hey Oscar!" SIL looks at me and throws up her hands. I continue to eat my sandwich as everyone leaves. Wife texts me that MIL is crying in the car because of how uncomfortable I made all of them. They are all leaving, wife included. I said their leaving is completely fine by me and that they're the ones who showed the disrespect first. They are all leaving tomorrow morning to a lake resort for the remainder of their time. AITAH?

Anya Petrova
Girlfriend’s Brother’s Date Called My Parents 'Buyers' And I Finally Lost It
Family

Girlfriend’s Brother’s Date Called My Parents 'Buyers' And I Finally Lost It

My girlfriend (20f) and I (20m) were at a party at her brother's (27m) house. Her brother's new girlfriend (25f) was also there and she was really interested in talking to me. My girlfriend and I were confused by it but I was friendly until she got super pushy and wouldn't back off. I'm adopted. She's adopted. She wanted to talk to a fellow adoptee and asked my story. Once she heard it she got really weird with me. She asked me if I had found my parents yet and I told her I didn't need to find them, I knew my parents. They raised me. She rolled her eyes and told me those were my buyers, not my parents. For context. I had the "worst adoption" one where I was adopted at birth and my parents "bought" me. Not quite what happened. I explained when she questioned stuff. But she ignored me. I was adopted privately. My birth people knew my parents and approached them about taking me since they didn't want to be parents. My parents did pay for my birth mother's expenses and gave them some money during the rest of the pregnancy but I don't feel bought, personally. And I don't feel like my parents are monsters or some evil baby buying people. My girlfriend told her she was being weird and it wasn't a great way to meet us. She said the minute she found out I was adopted she knew we needed to meet and talk. My girlfriend tried to get her brother to intervene when his girlfriend wouldn't leave it but he was drunk and not fit to do anything. I tried walking away but she followed us around. She tried to spew all this anti-adoption stuff and she insulted my parents. I told her I was happy I was adopted. Didn't want to hear shit about my parent. She wanted me to open my eyes and told me I'd regret not finding my real family. I told her to shut up, she doesn't know me, she doesn't know my family, and she has no right to pester me about her opinion. I told her to mind her own business in future because nobody should be told how they feel. She made a scene and we left. My girlfriends brother called a couple of days later and he said I really pissed off his girlfriend and why did I have to be so rude to her. She was just trying to engage adoptee to adoptee. My girlfriend told him she did a terrible job. Then his girlfriend started texting my girlfriend to tell me I was rude without a good reason. AITA?

Jonas Bergström
AITA for not buying my wife a plane ticket so she is missing the family vacation
Family

AITA for not buying my wife a plane ticket so she is missing the family vacation

My wife is horrible with money, at the beginning of our marriage we pulled out money together and she would use all of it. Her job is pays shit compared to mine. So when we combined the money she went crazy. I had many conversations with her over it and even tried to get her to take a money finical class. Overtime it got worse and worse. About a year ago I learned she was in bad credit card debt. I gave her he chose of divorce or we separate our money and she needs to fix her debt ASAP. To her credit she took it seriously and she is fixing her credit card debt. We have separate money and I pay for the bills while her only worry is to buy groceries. My family has a big vacation coming up and everyone is invited. The trip is to Europe and plane tickets are going to cost 1000+. My parents are going to pay for the resort so the only think needs to be paid is the plane ticket and fun money for the trip. I plan on going. She informed me that she will not be able to afford the ticket. I point out the trip is in about four month so she should be able to save up. She informed me that ||...⬇️

Clara Jensen
My Boyfriend Humiliated Me At A Wedding So I Destroyed Him In Front Of His Parents
Family

My Boyfriend Humiliated Me At A Wedding So I Destroyed Him In Front Of His Parents

Recently my boyfriend (47M) and I (29F) went to a friend’s wedding. Both of us were pretty drunk at the reception, as were most of our friends and family. At one point, my boyfriend and I were at separate tables talking to people, and one of his friends comes over to me saying I need to “come get my man” because he’s acting like an idiot and saying stupid shit. I told him that’s pretty par for the course when he’s drinking and just to cut him off from having any more. His friend was laughing about this, so I didn’t take it seriously. Not long after that, we end up migrating into a larger group, and I see my boyfriend—he’s stopped drinking, but he’s still evidently hammered. They’re on the topic of sex positions for whatever reason, and he’s saying *very* loudly how much I love doggystyle and physically making the motions and overall making me super uncomfortable. I told him (quietly) to cut the shit and stop talking about that. Of course, he didn’t. He stopped for maybe ten minutes before getting back into talking about our sex life, this time to announce to all of our friends that I love anal. By this point, he was talking loudly enough that his family (including his parents and brothers) could hear us at the next table over. My boyfriend and I have done anal a few times, but I don’t really care for it at all, it’s just something I do for him. This time he shakes me by the shoulders and, again, practically yelling says, “You love it up the ass. You like the pain of it, don’t you?” Naturally, I’m fucking mortified. I say the first thing that comes to my mind which is, “It doesn’t hurt when your dick is that fucking tiny” and I leave. Admittedly, I was also drunk and may be missing out on some details here, but after the wedding, my boyfriend was furious with me. He said I embarrassed him in front of friends and family and I was completely out of line. He said that it was “obvious” he was joking before and my comment was deliberate and hurtful. I’ll concede that I was trying to hurt him with that remark, and his dick is average sized so it wasn’t even true, but I feel like this was justified given the circumstances. AITAH?

Elise Dubois
My husband claimed he was old-fashioned until our wedding night proved he was definitely lying
Family

My husband claimed he was old-fashioned until our wedding night proved he was definitely lying

So, we only dated for six months. We've been engaged for another six and just got married on Saturday. I literally just got back from my honeymoon a couple hours ago. My husband isn't a religious guy, he just says he is "old fashioned like that." We got close to fooling around a couple times but it never went far. I tried, but he always stopped after it went "too far". Anyway, fast forward to now... Am I the asshole for reading into this and being upset that I waited until my wedding night to find out that he probably isn't as "old fashioned" as he says he is? I'm not going to shame him and honestly I don't even know how I'll broach the topic (and I'm not seeking advice). I honestly just acted like nothing was out of the ordinary and went to town with him, but...I dunno. I kind of feel lied to. Like a halftruth...or something was intentionally withheld from me. This was unexpected, to say the least. And if you read this far, thanks for your time.

Jonas Bergström
Woman Loses It After Her In-Laws Refuse To Stop Calling Her "Mama" And Try To Erase Her Identity
Family

Woman Loses It After Her In-Laws Refuse To Stop Calling Her "Mama" And Try To Erase Her Identity

I have 2 kids, 2f, 4f. I fucking hate how everyone thinks of me as being just a mommy now. I don’t get to be my own person. I’m just mommy. Husband doesn’t face this. He gets gifts from everyone that have to do with his hobbies. Me? I get a bunch of mommy shit. Tee hee, mommy needs wine! And like matching outfits. I don’t mean like, one of those cutesy matching pajama sets that the nurses and horse girls wear in their staged Christmas insta pics. I mean like, people actually think I’m going to go out in public wearing some cutesy matching outfits with my toddlers. As though I think they’re mini versions of myself? Or dolls? From the time we got to the in-laws, it was “mama” this and “mama” that. At some point, my SIL said it and I said “You know my name is (Carmen), right?” she just looked at me funny and said “Of course, silly?” I said “So why do you keep calling me “mama”? You aren’t going around calling (husband) papa?” SIL just looked at me like I had 2 heads and was like “Um, okay.” This went on all over Christmas. Here you go, mama. Want another slice, mama? At that point I was just like “Do you mind calling me by my name instead of calling me mama?” The same SIL as before did the whole golly-gee doe eyed thing and said “But you’re such a good mama!” I said that I’m not JUST a mom. I gestured to the things that husband got for Christmas from them, and said “Why didn’t you guys get him anything that says “papa”? Everything you gave me is somehow related to me being a mom. Why does HE get to be his own person?” MIL grabbed my hand and squeezed it and said that she was sorry that she made me feel like this. She was just “so excited” about being a grandma and she never really thought of things like that. I was feeling a little better until SIL2 and SIL3 started going after me. One of them did that whole “Are you okay? Do you need to talk someone? You sound so angry, it isn’t healthy” faux concern thing that’s meant to shame you for having any emotional response. The other one was angry and saying that “is being a mom somehow beneath you” and “do you think you’re better than the rest of us?” and all that. When we finally left, he asked me why I’d kept it in for so long, and I said that I haven’t. No one listened to me before. I’ve said these things plenty of times. I’ve always asked them to call me by my name and not some disgusting nickname that boils me down to giving birth. He nodded, but said that I’d put a big pallor on the weekend and that I need to apologize for the outburst at some point. I said sure, as soon as SILs apologize to me for dehumanizing me for years. We’re at a stalemate. AITA?

Anya Petrova
My Dad Is Furious I Spent More Money On My Brother After Kicking Him Out
Family

My Dad Is Furious I Spent More Money On My Brother After Kicking Him Out

So I'm significantly older than my half siblings - long story short there my mother died when I was in my mid teens and my dad took off with a woman literally half his age shortly after. The kids are 18M, 14F and 12M. Honestly our dad is kind of a dick in general. He's always been a bit of a hardass, very into the whole "tough love, hands-off, let my wife do all the work, I'll just be the disciplinarian" approach to parenting. One of his more extreme/weird rules is that he expects all of his children to be moved out of his house within three months of turning 18. Now, this applied for me but I had been left a significant inheritance by my mum and my grandpa when they both died, plus I had a good apprenticeship in the company I'm now a manager in. I coild afford to move out and do so comfortably. My little brother was less fortunate; his only income was from a part time job in a pub, plus he has some mental health issues (depression, OCD and I suspect an eating disorder) which make life harder for him. Plus, he turned 18 this year. I really thought Dad would be more lenient but no, my brother still had to move out. He stayed with me for a while, then got put up in a flat by himself. He's honestly barely scraping by, and I wish he'd come back to mine but that's a whole other thing in itself. All that to say, kid's had a tough old year and I wanted to do something to cheer him up for Christmas. I managed to get him a PS5 and a couple of games for it, as well as a couple of other little treats, plus I paid a few months rent for him to take the pressure off him for a while. I got a pretty generous Christmas bonus this year, so it wasn't like I bankrupted myself for him or anything but it was still a significant amount to spend and not something I could've done 3 times over, but I still did spend quite a bit on my younger siblings; my sister got a pair of Air Max she's wanted for ages, my brother got a Jack Wills coat and they both got a few extras. I won't give exact figures, but I spent a couple of hundred each on the younger two in comparison to almost 2k on my oldest brother. I didn't bring it up, but somehow our dad and my stepmother found out and now they're both pretty mad at me. They're accusing me of playing favourites and "punishing" my younger siblings because I'm mad at my dad. My stepmother is insistent that since the younger two are still kids so there should be more focus on them for Christmas and as an adult my oldest brother should expect to get less. It's caused a huge rift, with my neither of them speaking to me currently and the 18yo feeling horribly guilty about it all. I'm wondering now if I screwed up purely because of how upset they are about it.

Anya Petrova
My wife put a crude sign on our bedroom door to stop my grieving mother from knocking
Family

My wife put a crude sign on our bedroom door to stop my grieving mother from knocking

So I’ve been married to my wife for 4 years. We have a medium sized apartment. For the last 2 months, my mother has been staying of and on in our guest room. My dad recently passed away and it’s hard for her to live in their house alone, so I’ve been letting her stay with us. My wife and her have never particularly got along, but I expected her to understand why it’s important to me that she overlook this just for a little while. I mean she lost her husband of 40 years, she’s fragile and I really want to be able to do what I can to make her feel better. My moms presence has changed our routine a little bit. Mainly our nighttime routine. She’ll usually come knock on our door to talk. My wife hates this. Partially because it interrupts our intimacy. Usually when we’re over we just don’t make love. So this past week I noticed my mom wasn’t coming in at night. So we had normal nighttime habits. Yesterday mom pulled me aside and told me that the sign I let my wife put on the door at night was disgusting and not something she ever needed to know. She also said it that she was very hurt that I don’t want to speak to her since I’m all she has left now. I told her I had no idea what she was talking about. She said the sign about sex. I still had no idea and talked to my wife about it when she got home. She admitted to it. She said that she made a sign to keep my mom out of our hair at nights. On the sign was written, “Please do not disturb unless you want to see me fucking your son”. She thought it was funny was necessary but I was mad about it. I took the sign crumpled it up and tossed it in the garbage. I then went off on my wife about how inappropriate abs embarrassing this was. She told me it’s my fault that we needed this and it’s just joke. I slept on the couch last night and she’s still pissed at me. AITA?

Jonas Bergström
My wife is pressuring my son to pay for his stepsister’s wedding just to avoid family gossip
Family

My wife is pressuring my son to pay for his stepsister’s wedding just to avoid family gossip

I'm a father of 2 (Tom, 26) and stepdaughter (Judy, 22) Tom has a good paying job while Judy is still studying. They're both engaged to their partners and the family are expecting 2 weddings this summer. Tom started his wedding planning and he spent quite a lot of money on it. He and fiancee chose a nice venue, afford to invite many guests, and add more food options. My wife told me Judy said her stepbrother showed her the expensive venue he and his fiancee picked and Judy thought it wasn't fair that Tom spent that much on just the venue while she and her fiance are struggling to save up for their entire wedding. I asked my wife what that means and she old me to think about it this way: Both Tom and Judy are getting married this summer. People (our families) will attend Tom's wedding and say it was great, but then attend Judy's wedding 3 months later and will say unlike her stepbrother's, her wedding is cheap, with no great venue or quality food and not a lot if guests to afford. Basically comparing the two and gossiping about Judy's wedding. I said all wedding are different who is going to compare two weddings? Who does that? she told me family and friends. She said that perhaps, Tom could help his sister with money to afford a decent wedding if not equal. I laughed it off and said this's not a competition and weddings supposed to be about the couples only not what people think. But she said Judy feels like her wedding will be less than compared to Tom's. She said we've raised both kids equal and gave them everything equal we can't just ruin it now and cause drama. Then brought up that Tom earns a lot of money so no harm in helping his sister by funding some of her wedding. I told her what my son earns is none of her concern that's it. And even if he earns a lot doesn't mean he's obligated to fund other people's weddings. It's absurd. She took this as in I was being pass-aggressive and should always be encouraging Tom and Judy to help one another. Fine, but there's a difference between encouraging and pressuring one into helping the other. If this was an emergency then yes I'd bring it up to him still expecting a no but to ask him to pitch in his sister's wedding, that's overstepping the line. I frankly said I won't even bother my busy son with this none issue but she got mad that I'm not even considering talking to him and making a bit of effort to make Judy feel less stressed and more supported in her wedding. I said no and she got extremely upset and agitated saying I'm the one refusing to help not Tom and that he's an adult and can decide if he wants to help. But she's asking me to talk to him which I'm not going to do. We're still arguing about it.

Clara Jensen
My Step-Uncle Groped Me and My Mom Blamed Me for What I Was Wearing
Family

My Step-Uncle Groped Me and My Mom Blamed Me for What I Was Wearing

I (19F) live at home with my mom, brother and stepfather. Recently I’ve been starting to go braless around the house because one of my shoulders got dislocated and wearing a bra just made the pain worse. I do have a bigger chest (F cup) than my mom (C cup) and tried not to make it very noticeable that I wasn’t wearing a bra by wearing oversized clothing like sweaters and hoodies. When I’m sleeping I do wear a silky camisole and some shorts because that’s what I feel the most comfortable in. One evening I thought I was going to be home alone and decided to wear my PJ’s while going downstairs to the kitchen to get a snack. I wasn’t alone, my stepfather had invited his older brother (46M) over for a drink and to watch a football game. I tried to turn around and go back up to my room to change into something more appropriate, but they had already seen me coming down the stairs and called me over to sit next to them on the couch. My step-uncle is an affectionate person and always asks for a hug. I hugged him and felt like he was pressing me into himself and he patted my butt playfully. After the hug he told me that he loved my top, while he was staring at my boobs and he even groped them??? Afterwards I asked him to stop touching me and he kept making excuses that he just wanted to feel the silk material. My stepfather just laughed and didn’t say anything about what his brother did, even though it was very inappropriate. When I asked why he laughed, he told me I was asking for it because of what I was wearing. I just ran to my room afterwards because I felt so dirty. When my mom (42F) came home I explained what had happened with tears in my eyes and she sided with my stepfather and said I should have covered up. She said I had invited him to grope me and said that next time I should think twice before going braless. Am I the asshole in this situation and is it really my fault ??

Elise Dubois
Boyfriend Promised I Could Name Our Son After My Late Father But Now His Family Is Revolting
Family

Boyfriend Promised I Could Name Our Son After My Late Father But Now His Family Is Revolting

My father, who I was extremely close with, passed away nearly 10 years ago. He single-handedly raised me and was literally my best friend until the day he passed. Even though 10 years have passed, I still miss him every day. After a few months of dating my boyfriend (who we will call Kyle) we had our first discussion about kids and I told him that a dealbreaker for me was to name my son after my father. I didn't want the middle name, I wanted it to be his first name. Kyle said that was a beautiful sentiment and that he fully supported it. I told him if we ever had kids, he has free rein to name the girl whatever he wanted. Well, I'm now pregnant with my second child with Kyle. Our first one was a girl, and much to our first discussion, I let him name her whatever he wanted. In his family none of them have middle names, so we decided to stick with that with our girl. However, we just found out I was expecting a boy. He was super excited, until I started ordering stuff with the baby's name on it. He asked me why I was ordering stuff with the name Brian, and I said it was obviously because that is what we were naming him. We had that conversation over 100 times at this point, so it's not like he just randomly forgot. He said that he thought I was kidding and that we shouldn't name our son Brian. I said he got to name our daughter and I never once complained about the name, so I don't know what he's going on about now. He said he's always wanted a Kyle Jr or Kyle the second or something like that, and I said that's great but you promised that we could name our son after my father. Well, he called his family and they are all calling me complaining about the name. They don't care about my dead father's name and they want something that will match my daughter (more modern) or a Jr. They said Brian is a really bad name for kids today and he will be bullied. I disagree, and even if he was, he is still named after the most special person I've ever met. I have no family left on my side. The last person was my father. No grandparents, no parents, no siblings, cousins, etc. All I have to carry on my family is his name. I'm willing to budge on the spelling if I HAVE to, but they just want the name completely gone. A middle name is not even a discussion anymore because they don't want to break tradition on their side. I understand it's not a popular name. However I feel like this is something that is so precious to me that I will not budge. AITA? Edit: Just to clear up some things up! My boyfriend's name is not Kyle, it's just the name I gave him for the sake of this post. However, his name does start with K. So I promise, we're not going to name our kid Kyle Jr. lol. Also, I know Brian isn't an outdated name. But to THEM it's outdated. They consider it to be "an ugly late 90's/early 2000's" name and said that by the time he his in high school he will be getting hell for it

Jonas Bergström
I Protected My Brother From Bullies His Whole Life and He Repaid Me By Sleeping With My Girlfriend
Family

I Protected My Brother From Bullies His Whole Life and He Repaid Me By Sleeping With My Girlfriend

I (17m) was always close to my younger brother (16m). Even though our age gap is really small I was always his protector because he's struggled with lots of stuff. He's always been bullied, was always chubby and even though he eats well and does move around he just can't lose the weight, something he hates because it made him a target for bullies forever, he's got social anxiety too and is just really hard on himself. So I took it upon myself to be his best friend and his brother and I ran off more than few bullies over the years. He was always a priority for me and even though we're teenagers and that doesn't always happen, I tried because I knew my brother struggled socially. Near the end of November he had a really shitty time. A girl he liked humiliated him as part of a prank by spending time with him because she knew he liked her and then mocking him for his weight and being "weird". Then a few guys at tried to expose him in the locker room and called him names. It did a number on him and I was there. I invited him to come to a party with me and my girlfriend (17f) 3 weeks ago. I helped him find an outfit and stuff. I acted like his personal cheerleader in the run up and I offered to introduce him to some people he might find some common interests with, which he said he was ready to try. We got there and he seemed to hit it off with one of the guys I introduced him to. I spent some time with my girlfriend and then she disappeared. I went to go check on my brother and I found the two of them together in a room on their own making out. They were as close to fully naked as you could get and I lost it. I broke up with her and told her to stay the hell away from me and I went out to my car and called my parents to take him home and told them I could not be alone in the car with him. They had me stay in the car at least so I did and dad drove to pick him up and brought him home. I told our parents what happened and they told me he wanted to apologize but I refused to let him. My brother has tried to apologize and make it right but I never let him finish and I walk away. I've shut him out. My parents asked me to try and listen and forgive and I said no. On Christmas Eve I told him to stop trying to talk to me because I am done with him. I told him he didn't deserve my help anymore and to forget about coming to me with his problems. I also said I wasted all that time with him when I could've been with friends who wouldn't stab me in the back. Since then he's become so depressed and my parents are worried. But I'm not. I'm still shutting him out. I don't think I'll try to change that either. My parents told me we can't let this end our relationship and they said he needs me. I told them that's too bad because I did so much for him and he'd have fucked my girlfriend if I hadn't walked in when I did. They told me he's a kid and I said yeah, but I was on his side the whole time and I chased away so many bullies for him, comforted him, listened to him, helped him with his problems. I told them as far as I was concerned it was a waste of time and I regret wasting my time. They told me it was a horrible way to think about my own brother and they said if he hurts himself because I shut him out like this they won't ever forgive me. I told them to help him because I'm done. But AITA?

Jonas Bergström
I Fixed My In-Laws' Stairs For Hours And They Refused To Even Offer Me A Plate
Family

I Fixed My In-Laws' Stairs For Hours And They Refused To Even Offer Me A Plate

I (34m) got married 9 years ago to my wife Jessica (33f). Jessica and I have two children Robyn (7f) and Theo (5m). Growing up I didn't have a family. I was a foster kid who was bounced around a lot because sometimes my bio mother would take me back but she'd always end up losing custody again or placing me back. When she finally stopped trying I was 11 and too old for most people who wanted babies or really little kids. So I aged out of the system without being adopted or finding a family. I had hoped when Jessica and I met that I'd be welcomed by her family. But that's not how it went. Took me years to figure it out though. They look down on me. They're not totally obvious about it but I see it in the way they are with me vs the way they're with the other sons/daughters in law. Like asking them about Christmas plans but saying they didn't expect us to do anything else because I don't have a family. Or asking about the others jobs and promotions but never me, then acting so shocked both times Jessica or I mentioned I was promoted. There was a time when my SIL mentioned a foster kid who won a scholarship to college and it made it into the local news. The whole family's reaction was "oh wow a foster kid making it to college is so unexpected" and Jessica pointed out I went to college. They looked a little uncomfortable and I heard two of her siblings whisper something about "Jessica and that story" so I assume they believed she lied about where we met. They don't make an effort for my birthday. They make assumptions that I don't spend time with my kids. They assume any effort made by me is me doing it for Jessica and don't believe me when I say it's not. Yet they will always ask for my help with repairs around the house or assembling something, because I'm good at that stuff. I have helped Jessica's parents and all her siblings at least twice. Once I realized (with help from therapy) that they really didn't like me and seem to think less of me for being a foster kid, I did that stuff for Jessica and not for them. But then a few weeks ago Jessica's parents had issues with the stairs. I went and fixed them up. I was hours working on one part and had to go and get extra materials. It was a whole thing. Some of the family came over while I was there and Jessica's parents made food for them... but nothing for me. When I asked them if there was any for me they told me they didn't think I'd want to eat after working so hard... for hours... with no food in between. I told them they didn't think that, they simply didn't want to be polite to me and offer food after doing all that work for them. I was called out by Jessica's parents and her siblings. Jessica took my side as did some of the the siblings spouses. But I was called out again for not helping fix a shelf for one of Jessica's sisters and saying never again would I help any of them. They said family helps family. I asked them when they ever treat me like family. AITA?

Anya Petrova
Teen Undergoes Disturbing Meltdown After Finding Out Her Step Mom And Half-Siblings Planned ‘Family’ Vacation Without Her
Family

Teen Undergoes Disturbing Meltdown After Finding Out Her Step Mom And Half-Siblings Planned ‘Family’ Vacation Without Her

My dad had an affair around the time he and my mom conceived me (16m) and my half sister Jessie (16f) was the result. My parents already had my sister Winter (18f) and after me my parents had my brothers Hayes (14m) and Jonah (13m). We found out Jessie was our half sister 6 years ago and my parents marriage broke up over the revelation. Dad ended up getting back together with Jessie's mom which broke up her marriage, which happened after she and my dad had broken up. Jessie knew my dad and they had a relationship. Winter and I knew her from school but we were not close to her. Only after the big reveal did we really talk to Jessie and she told us we had to treat her as a real sister and that her parents said we would always have to include her now because she was our family. That's been her attitude ever since. She does not think any of us can talk to each other unless she's involved. She jumps into conversations. She tries to rewrite history to include herself. Jonah tried to get a little closer to her and she yelled at him a few times because in response because he wasn't doing it the way she wanted, meaning he wasn't erasing history. First time it was over Universal Studios and she said our first time there should be together. He told her we had already been and she yelled at him. The second time was when she talked about all the Christmas' we spent together and he mentioned we hadn't spent one together yet. Whenever we have "family" time at dad's house she will come up with stories of things we have not done, in her attempts to change the past. She'll also make comments about our mom getting in the way of the family and it normally results in a fight with me and Winter vs her because we do not tolerate that crap. So we don't have the best relationship with her. I can't say any of us hate her. Maybe Winter does. But I don't consider her a real sister or a real member of my family and in two years I won't speak to her or my dad (I'm pissed with him for a lot of stuff). So this year is the first year since the divorce that mom can take us on vacation and she has decided to make it a special one because Winter goes to college in the fall. Jessie found out about this via dad, because he wasn't happy with mom taking advantage of the chance to extend custody during the summer for two weeks for a vacation and he wasn't happy because Winter said no to going on vacation with his family this year (she no longer sees dad because she's 18). Jessie told us we couldn't go on a family vacation without her and she needed to come. I told her that wasn't happening and she said we had to include her because she's our sister. I said she's not my mom's daughter. She said we're family though and she's our sister. I told her she's not welcome on our family vacation with mom, she never would be and none of us want her there. She yelled at me and my dad got pissed at me for upsetting her and "saying such a shitty thing" to her and taking his affair out on her. AITA?

Jonas Bergström
Family Demanded We Forgive The Relative Who Attacked Our Son And I Am Done
Family

Family Demanded We Forgive The Relative Who Attacked Our Son And I Am Done

I (42m) and my wife (38f) had our lives turned upside down two years ago when we walked in on our son being SA by his cousin. I refrained from hurting my nephew and their whole family packed up and left immediately. After reporting it to child services we immediately cut communication and got our son into therapy. He seems to be doing fine and I think he was too young to understand what was going on. This has completely changed my ability to parent how I want to. I am uncomfortable with my kids being alone with anyone now and have since had to go on depression and anxiety drugs. Due to the nephews age there were no criminal case and the child in question did the minimum required therapy. Since then we have had to see this part of the family at family gatherings and it was causing my wife and I a lot of stress to the point where we had to medicate ourselves to attend. The other parents were in our opinion very lax is pushing for more treatment for their son and we do not feel they did enough to address the issue as they said “the reason there are no criminal actions is because they don’t consider kids to be culpable till age 12”. We later found that this nephew had three different Roblox accounts in which he was pretending to be adults. In one he was claiming to be a 27 yo woman with two kids. Not only do I worry about my son and the damage this will do to him in future relationships but something must have happened to the nephew and the consensus is that he was probably assaulted but the parents have never dug deeper which is a red flag to me. All of this happened on vacation in a spot that has very real sentimental memories as it was where my wife and I got engaged and where we had spent many family vacations together and now cannot bring ourselves to go back to despite all the children (11, 9, 6) having fond memories and being confused why we don’t go anymore. Recently I got an email from the parents of said child asking if there was any room to look at forgiveness and rebuilding a relationship. AITAH for not wanting to have anything to do with them or their son going forward. They have said they don’t want to come to family gatherings as they do not want their son ostracized and they feel unwelcome. The best I seem to be able to provide is quite basic courtesy when what I really want is to yell and scream at both the parents and the kid. Both my wife and I feel pressured to go back to normal when I am not sure our lives will ever go back to normal. I cannot see myself forgiving this nephew and I certainly will never trust him with any of my children ever again. One thing that really bothers me which I did not think much of at the time before the event was that the nephew was trying to buy my son all sorts of presents on this vacation and now it makes me feel like he was grooming him which makes me feel like he knew what he was going to do was wrong and was hiding it.

Anya Petrova
My Ex Neglects His Other Daughter and Now His Family Expects Me to Raise Her
Family

My Ex Neglects His Other Daughter and Now His Family Expects Me to Raise Her

I (29f) have a daughter (9f) with my ex-husband (31m). When our daughter was 18 months old I found out he had cheated and father another child and I ended our marriage. He remarried the mother of his second child and his other daughter is 8. To make my post easier to follow I will call my daughter Ella and her half sister Callie. My ex and I share custody of Ella. We communicate via an app and have plenty of co-parenting issues but I always try to put my daughter first. I kept my distance from Callie and her mom for years but was getting tons of pressure from my ex's parents to invite Callie to birthday parties because my ex and his wife don't really throw any for the girls, which I knew. I didn't invite Callie and Ella never asked me to. But my ex's parents called me a bad mother for not putting Ella first and securing her relationship with Callie. It got to me and when a couple of "we need a babysitter right now" emergencies came up I agreed to have Callie over when I was taking Ella on my ex's time. I regretted it. She was here far longer than agreed on and not only would my ex's parents not take her but I couldn't reach him at all. When she was eventually picked up by my ex we exchanged heated words both times. He was pissed at me for calling him multiple times and I was pissed he didn't send me a heads up about it. After the second time I swore I would never do it again and I told my ex's parents to fuck off when they started bringing up the topic of inviting Callie to Ella's birthday parties. I ignored them for the most part but a downside of small town living is you see people more than you'd like. A few months ago I became aware of my ex and his wife ignoring Callie and neglecting her. Most days nobody picks her up from school until it's late and I have seen her waiting at 5:30 some days so I know there's truth to that. My ex's parents mentioned it a few times and in response I told them they should step up and stop telling me. My ex has started texting more and asking me to pick Callie up and babysit until someone can come and get her and he's admitted I'm leaving her out on the street on her own. I have called CPS a couple of times, especially when my ex has admitted to leaving her out there and also to not providing enough food. Nothing was done. Callie is still there and no visit has been made that I'm aware of. Ella does not get the same experience. Not only does she use the bus but my ex works from home on his parenting weeks. She's never gone without food and she is not being neglected over there. Although she hates being at her dad's and wants to live with me. She doesn't have the greatest relationship with her dad. I have documented everything so that I can try to get custody eventually but when CPS has done nothing the chance of a change in custody is so low, especially with Ella is not neglected. This brings me back to Callie. I have been asked repeatedly to step up and help her by my ex and his parents now. And I know she's not being taken care of like she should. But I swore never again and I have stood by that. Ella doesn't want her here. The girls aren't close and Ella prefers it being just the two of us. I don't want Callie here either. I know she's not the cheater but I do see her as the product of my ex's affair still and I hated having her here. I pushed it down when she was. But knowing Ella feels the same, it doesn't inspire me to have her over more and I do not want to provide for the child of my ex's affair. But I know she's an innocent kid and I'm getting shit from crappy people for it and I guess it's making me second guess this. Especially when I'm aware of what's going on. Are you the asshole?

Anya Petrova