Category - Advice

Fresh updates and insights

My Dad Calls Me 'The Thing' To My Face So I Refused To Keep Helping Him

My parents are both in their 80s and live about two hours from me. For reference, I have a sibling that lives right down the road from them. Neither of them have aged well- they always refused to be active and have lived very sedentary lives in their retirement so aging has been hard on them. My father especially has struggled with type 2 diabetes and dementia/alzheimers. He is very combative and mean about everything, which is how he has always been, but dementia and old age has made it worse. He directs a lot of his anger towards me and is especially mad that I am trying to get them to move into assisted living because they fall constantly and need so much help. Anytime he disagrees with me about anything he starts screaming and calling me names including “ fat-a** and “the thing.” “The thing” hurts especially hard because I am his daughter and he is reducing me to something that is hardly human. He will say “ don’t look at the thing over there, she’s so ugly she might break your face” or just ridiculous stuff. He does this when he is completely lucid and remembering everything/everyone. Or he will say “ don’t feed the thing,” when my mom tries to offer me food. I tried so hard to ignore this treatment, but once he did it in front of my kids I put my foot down and stopped visiting. My mother now wants me to come to her 3+ times a week to help with cooking,cleaning, helping dress my father, etc. i have said no because the way he treats me is terrible and I have to look out for my own well being. She says I just need to ignore it because he is old and grumpy. She says I take things too personally and I am obligated to help them because they raised me. AITA for saying they need either a full time nurse or assisted living? UPDATE: Thank you all so much for your feedback, advice and commiserations. I am going to tell them they need assisted living or an in home nurse, but it is not me anymore. I do want to also add that while my father does have dementia this mean and cruel behavior and my mother’s behavior is not new, they have always been this way with me, my father just has less restraint in his old age.

2025-09-24 13:33:57

Jonas Bergström

Advice

Husband Refused to Help With My Dying Mom's Bills But Now Wants My Entire Inheritance

I am (29f) a SAHM, I take care of the home and my son (4m) while my husband Sam (31m) works. I haven't had a job in four years as Sam wanted me to be a SAHM by the time our son was born. I accepted, since Sam has an absurdly good salary, and mine was not that great. My mom fell ill half a year ago. Her diabetes became quite complicated and she needed some medical care. We don't live in the US, so the expenses were relatively small. I asked Sam to please give me half of the total medical bill, since my brother (25m) was going to pay the other half. Sam refused to pay a penny from the bill, and since I have no income, my brother had to pay it all. Sadly, my mom passed away a month ago. My brother and I just got the whole estate in order. Each of us is going to get a somewhat considerable figure, since my mother had some properties (which she did not sell as they are in poor condition). This morning my husband told me he wants me to sell my my part of the inheritance, so we can make some (non-vital) house repairs and possibly go on vacation. I laughed, more out of anger than anything else, and told him that he had no right to suggest how to make use of the inheritance that my mother left, when he refused to even pay half of her medical bills. He called me an AH and went to work. I got a call from his sister, who was extremely angry. She called me irrational and told me that since I was living off the money Sam earns, I have no right to demand money from him, and that the inheritance gives me the opportunity to return some of the money he has spent on me. The call really got me thinking, and now I wonder if I'm really behaving like an AH. Edit: I've received a lot of comments asking the same questions, so I will answer them here. 1.- Why did my brother and I received an large inheritance but helped my mom with the treatment? My mom didn't leave us cash, she left us properties (4 in total). This properties are basically in ruins, and need a ton of work done, so my mom didn't receive any income from this properties. She placed two of them for sale, but they never sold since the real state market is extremely expensive here. 2.- Why did my mom paid her “main treatment”? My mom paid the hospital her entire treatment there, so, her hospitalizacion or any larger procedure. My brother and I wanted to help her with medical appointments (she visited several especialists outside the hospital) and medicines (the hospital didn't cover them). That's why I said that the the expenses were relatively small. Apologies if my redaction is confusive. 3.- I made the mistake of commenting that my husbands earns five zeros, but it's in my currency. Not in dollars. He earns montly about 12 thousand american dollars.

2025-10-19 19:52:48

Anya Petrova

Advice

Woman’s Dine-And-Dash Scheme Goes Spectacularly Wrong After Latest Victim Requests Separate Checks Thanks To Friendly Tip-Off

I (28m) work with this woman Lydia (24f) who has a very annoying habit. She has a dating profile that she uses specifically to lure guys to buying her expensive dinners at restaurants she wants to try and then ghosts them. Lydia brags about this all the time, and is never interested in actually dating, but she’ll act like it to sell it. I can’t stand this because it’s playing with people’s hearts, but Lydia thinks of it as a life hack to try food or drinks she otherwise couldn’t afford. My friend Daniel (32m) is also on dating sites, but for the right reasons. His late wife died a few years ago, and he’s just started jumping back into the dating scene. Daniel’s a very sweet guy, and I really want him to find a great lady for him. A few days ago, he texted me asking if I knew Lydia. They matched and got to talking about work, which is how he found out we worked at the same place. I told him all about Lydia’s BS with the restaurant thing, and made it very clear to him he would do best to drop things with her early on. Daniel said he’d probably still do the date but ask for separate checks. Well they went out this past weekend and on Monday Lydia came into work very upset. I asked her how her date with Daniel went, and she ripped into me asking if I was the one who told him not to pay for her dinner. Apparently she had Daniel take her to a high end steakhouse and she ended up splurging. She got a drink, a full entree with a side and dessert where Daniel just ordered a sandwich and salad. Her bill alone came to $70 something, and she was almost in tears at work as she didn’t expect to pay for it and now her car was low on gas. I got a little upset too as she tried to use my friend as a literal meal ticket, but somehow she doesn’t see it that way. Daniel told me later the date was going kind of well until he asked for separate checks, and then Lydia just got weirdly cold. So now Lydia’s mad at me because I told someone about her little tactic and it backfired on her. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong since it was a grieving friend I was protecting but some other people we work with said I should have stayed out of it because it was none of my business

2025-10-05 10:18:47

Luca Moretti

Advice

My Dad Refused To Help Us For Years So I Finally Kicked Him Out Of My Mom's House

My (19M) parents got divorced when I was about 10 and my mom always provided for us. She had an amazing job and me and my brother (17M) got everything we needed and wanted. My dad on the other hand, was jealous of my mom making a lot more money than him and when they were still together my mom would pay for everything (even my dads credit cards). After they divorced, whenever me or my brother would ask him for money (to buy school stuff or anything) he would refuse and say “Tell your mom, she has a lot of money”. Sadly my mom had stage 4 cancer, and when she started getting weaker she told me and my brother to be careful around my dad, specially with money because he would try to claim the heritage. I didn’t want to believe her, since he was my dad. I didn’t think he was capable of doing such a thing (She knew she didn’t have much time left). After my mom passed away, we decided the best thing to do was to live with our dad (In my moms House), and all my mom told us about turned out to be true. He hasn’t provided for us as he should and wanted to claim the heritage, because we shouldn’t have access to so much money. (I plan to invest the money) He has been living there rent free since my mom passed away. He hasn’t gave us a penny, he wants us to use the money my mom left us, that I would like to use to invest and finance my studies. Fast forward a few years, I’m studying in Europe and I’m financing my studies on my own and being honest, I’m having a hard time paying for everything (rent, health insurance, food etc.) My dad hasn’t give me a penny and I decided to kick him out of the house so that I can rent it and finance my studies and my brother’s. He refused and I proceeded with a lawyer. Of course I wan and he now blames me because I should help him, he’s my father. But he never helped me. AITA? I tried to tell it as short as I could, a lot of details are missing but I think you get the point. Excuse my English, it’s not my native language

2025-09-16 22:27:23

Luca Moretti

Family

My Family Demanded I Pay To Help My Abusive Brother After They Shunned Me For Keeping My Son

So, when I was 19 I got pregnant with my son and his dad bailed after fighting with me wanting to go through with the pregnancy. My family told me straightforward that they will not pay a penny nor become responsible for my son and that I needed to get a job as soon as possible so I can afford my own place. During my stay I was treated poorly. I was pregnant, working, and wouldn't eat/wear/use anything unless I'm paying for it. My parents were awful to me and they were doing this to me to get back at me for my decision to keep my baby at the time. My brother was treated like the golden child. He was worshiped in every way and his wife was the lady who get a special treatment because "she was pregnant with their grandbaby". At that point I knew my son will be treated poorly if he grows up around them. I moved out when my son was 5, after my brother was visiting my parents house and he yelled at my son for playing and told him that I should've aborted him and that i would've saved the whole family all this headache. He said this within my earshot and I decided to move out after everyone defended him. And I went no contact with him. I was able (and from the help of my work) to get my own place and pay mortgage comfortably. My son is 7 years old. I'm now taking courses at the academy to improve my knowledge/skills and of course my salary. Luckily I have met wonderful people that treat me nicely and respect me as a person and as a mother. I don't see much of my family just mom. She'd visit regularly and I appreciate her for that. My brother sold his house and got a rented apartment to save money for paying for construction machines and starting a business. That was 2 years ago, but he failed and is now stuck paying rent and taking care of his kids. My mom said he's devastated and broken. She said she felt sorry when he was crying and blaming himself that his family went through this. She told me the whole family is rising money to help his situation out. We started arguing when she didn't like my response and said th st family is family no matter what. She said that despite everything he is my brother and that I should at least feel sorry for his poor kids. I called her unreasonable to try to get the kids involved to get me to empathize with his situation I told her that the family didn't do that when I needed help. And I was literally paying for everything back then. She said she wouldn't visit me anymore if I choose to be this cruel and selfish and now she's calling wanting me to meet my brother so we can talk. But I feel hesitant especially since they brushed off my feelings like that.

2025-09-24 16:43:09

Clara Jensen

Family

AITA for refusing to end being no contact with my sister to help her while she's homeless?

I (27f) was dating Rob (28m) for over 5 years but ended our relationship last year when I found out he was sleeping with my sister Izzy (25f). I was pregnant at the time and quickly learned Izzy was too so I ended my pregnancy. Izzy already knew because Rob had told her and even though I told her I wanted nothing to do with her and had blocked her everywhere (or so I thought I missed one account) she told me we needed to stay in touch because our kids would be siblings. When I didn't reply Rob told me he wanted to be a dad still and I told him there was no baby anymore and he needed to leave me alone. Izzy told our family what had happened and what I did and she was absolutely vile about me. My brother Ryan (22m) showed me screenshots and the stuff Izzy was saying was infuriating but also just further cemented the whole I'm done with you forever part. Izzy tried to get in touch with me once after all of that. She would have been 8 months pregnant. But I blocked her new account and carried on with my life. She was loving with Rob at that time. They broke up since then and Izzy had the baby. Now she's homeless with the baby. But Rob sees the baby I think? She was in a rental for a while and then a shelter and then I guess another shelter that she didn't feel safe being in. She asked our parents for help and they sent her money and tried to help her find a place but they couldn't. This is where they tried to bring me in because they want(ed) me to step in and help her. We don't live in the same state as our parents and our parents say she's afraid to leave because of custody issues with the baby. I told them I am forever no contact with Izzy and she no longer has a sister to help her. They told me in a real emergency we need to put aside people's bad actions and help. I suggested they keep sending her money to get her on her feet and help her themselves. They've been here visiting so many times and they almost know the town better than I do even after 9 years of living here. Ryan agreed with me and told our parents they should be the ones helping Izzy, not me. They tried to find Rob and make him do something but he only wants to help the baby. My parents told me I need to help or else who knows what will happen. I refused and then I had to block my parents because they were doing their best to make me feel like a monster for refusing to help even when I pointed out she called me that and worse over my prior pregnancy. Ryan told me they're still going crazy and they're in the process of trying to move Izzy in with them. But they still believe I should have put the issue aside to help.

2025-10-28 12:09:14

Clara Jensen

Family

I Paid My Nephews To Help Me While Pregnant And My Brother Is Furious I Spoiled Them

My brother (age 45) has 2 sons, twins, age 17. They're not allowed to get jobs or learn to drive, as he doesn't want anything to detract from their studies. I've had many conversations with him where I've said that if they don't learn to multitask or prioritise or balance responsibilities this will screw them over in the long run, but he only sees short term. I (29f) am 5 months pregnant with my first child. My husband and I moved into a new home about 6 months ago, and we knew it was a fixer-upper when we moved in, but didn't anticipate me getting pregnant so soon, so while the house is perfectly safe and liveable, the majority of the fixing up has fallen on my husband. I've been helping out but I've been doing a tenth of what he has been doing. About a month ago my nephews approached me asking for help. Their plan was to sign on with an agency and tell their father that they were at my place during their shifts, and they wanted to know if I would go along with it. I agreed. My husband then said (when the boys left) that as the nursery still needed painting and the furniture assembled, if they wanted to help him out with that then he'd welcome the extra hands, as we aren't in a huge rush and we had enough money to pay them for their time and effort. There were a few other things on the to do list like fix and repaint the fence and clear out and convert the attic into a guest room. The next time we saw the boys they'd signed on to an agency, but they didn't get as many shifts as they hoped. We said if they wanted to help us out we could pay them £10 per hour. They agreed. The list was finished within a week. We gave the boys the money they'd earned, plus a bit extra, and they each had exactly £350. One asked if we could do an IOU type of thing, where I kept the money safe for him and gave it to him when he needed it, and I agreed. The other took it home with him and said he was going to keep it safe. My brother found the second twin's money, demanded to know where he got it from, and grounded both boys when they wouldn't tell him. I told my brother that I had given my nephew the money, and explained that he had been helping me out, and really laid it on thick with the pregnant thing. I didn't tell him that the other nephew had also helped. My brother yelled at me, said it wasn't my place to do that, they're his kids not mine, and if he wants them to work he'll put them to work. He then said that by paying them £10 an hour when the minimum wage for under 18 is £4.35 I had "spoiled" them and that they would "piss the money away". I said that while I respect that he is their father, it was my money and my choice what to do with it. AITA?

2025-09-20 15:00:16

Clara Jensen

Advice

AITA for refusing to help a coworker in need?

A few months ago, a new position was created at my workplace that I was interested in (and already doing about half the workload for). I was told if I apply for it, I'll get it from multiple directors. I applied for it. I did not get it. The Directors gave it to Mary. Turns out 4/5 on the hiring committee voted for me. The 5th with hiring power picked Mary because she "knows Mary better." Anyway, obviously I was pretty upset. Since then, I've continued to do my role but stopped doing anything beyond my job description that is now part of Mary's job. Here's the issue. Mary is STRUGGLING. A lot. She's been staying late to catch up. Every time I see her, she looks flustered/run down. She can't handle the workload and has hinted that she'd like me to continue doing what I was doing before. I've refused because 1. They chose Mary; 2. She's making significantly more than me now, and I don't want to do that work for the lesser rate. I might be TA: I could help her relatively easily. I have the time/skills, and I was already doing the work she's stru...

2025-08-02 17:36:40

Elise Dubois

Advice

Coworker screamed at me for bringing treats my toddler helped make to the office potluck

We had a potluck at work last week. I made this delicious brownie & cookie concoction with a caramel sauce. When I made it, my 2 year old was by my side and "helping" as much as he could. When I put the dish out at the potluck I added a sign that my son helped make it. I thought that was the right thing to do in case people had an issue with it. A co-worker who has made it known does not like kids, She has complained to HR about my kid being around at the end of the day for 15-30 minutes. This co-worker approached me and said that it wasn't fair that I made a dish that she wouldn't eat. I told her I just made the dish, i'm not concerned with who did and didn't eat it. She said that making a dish that wasn't made in a safe way and bringing it is not okay. I felt like providing the sign was enough to allow people to make their own decisions. She called me an asshole and I felt like she was blowing this way out of proportion. But AITA?

2025-09-26 15:13:41

Anya Petrova

Family

MIL came over to 'help' on Mother's Day and made me clean my entire house for her

So yesterday was Mother’s Day here in Sweden, and it was my first ever mother’s Mother’s Day. My daughter just turned one week this Saturday and unfortunately my husband worked this Sunday, so his mother texted me telling me she would love to come over and help me to get the house in order and cook some food. I told her that she didn’t have to but she insisted and I told her that I was so grateful. So she came around 7 in the morning and immediately talked about how messy it was, and that we would have to do something about it. I said that I know and I was again so thankful that she came. She said that it was the least she could do and asked to hold the baby. I handed her over and thought she just wanted to be with her before she got going. But immediately she told me that she got it and I could go on and do what I needed in the house. I was confused and I guess she saw that because she said “To clean, that’s why I am here right?”. I did not want to say anything and just started with it. At about 12 she asked if I was done soon because she was hungry, I said that I could take the baby so that she could make herself something, to which she said that she would just wait until I thought it was an appropriate time to eat. I was done at about 15 (3 in the afternoon) and she said that I shouldn’t hesitate if I need help again and that she was glad she could help me with everything. My husband got home at about 17, and he something like “I’m glad she was such a help to you, I hope you got some rest this day” I told him that I didn’t and that I cleaned everything while his mother spent time at our sofa watching the baby. He told me that I couldn’t be serious but I assured him I was. He went out in the kitchen and called his mom. I don’t know what was said but she texted me later. She basically told me that this was the last time that she ever helped me and that I was ungrateful and sick if I thought she would clean someone else’s house. She told me that she cleaned everyday while my husband was a newborn and you didn’t hear her complain. I feel like an ass and wonder if i should’ve just lied to my husband and if i am ungrateful…

2025-10-04 20:01:55

Jonas Bergström

Advice

Woman Wonders If She Should Let Her Roommate's Boyfriend Come Over Anymore Because Her Roomie Won't Let Him Help Her

I (26F) have a roommate (26F) who I’ve known for over a decade and we are also now coworkers. She’s been here for about half a year and ever since she moved in she’s always had a boyfriend that stays over (practically lives at my house half of the days out of the week) which doesn’t bother me enough to say anything about, but at the end of the day it is another person being over at my house all the time. The issue that’s recently sparked up is that I messaged her and asked if he could help us take some things from the garage to the dump so we can clear it out since my garage is filled with both her and my stuff. In my head, he has a truck and is a guy, so he would be able to help move heavy things and usually guys love helping women with this kind of stuff so why not ask, right? She responds with “I’m not going to ask him to do that. He already does enough for me and it’s not his responsibility”. Now I’m not an unreasonable person. I understand that it isn’t technically his responsibility and I never insinuated that. I do feel like it’s a fair thing to ask of him since he stays over at my house rent free. It makes me feel a bit uncomfortable and unliked/rejected having people live in my house who don’t think I’m worth helping with things. Yes, I plan on having a talk with her about this but I just wanted to get outside perspective to help me see if im being rational about this before I have the talk. Edited for resolution: I asked a friend of an old friend if he would be able to help me move the furniture from my garage into my truck and unload to the dump. He said he’s happy to help and offered to use his truck since it’s bigger ☺️ I will be buying him lunch since he’s doing it during his lunch break. As for the roommate situation I have decided to stop expecting friendly favors and will discontinue being lenient on the amount of rent paid and will no longer tolerate late payments. Thankyou to all who helped me see where I was in the wrong and to the people who showed empathy toward me and were able to see my side of things as well.

2025-09-26 16:49:39

Luca Moretti

Family

My Sister Faked Being In Danger And Then Reported Me For Harassment After I Called Help

A few months ago I (27f) got several erratic texts from an number I didn’t recognise, the person didn’t give their name but knew a lot about my step sister Emily (29f), the person said that Emily was a danger to herself. It was very late at night for them, but at the time I was out of the country for work and in a different time zone. I didn’t want to wake our parents, but I was Concerned so I called my sister’s local station for a wellness check. Since a fall out, my step sister and I haven’t been so close, but I’ve always cared about her, and been kind to her despite our differences. I was shocked when I got home from my work trip to receive a call from my mother claiming that Emily had reported me for harassment. I received many nasty messages from my family (including my mother (60f) and other two sisters (early 20s)) before they finally told me what I had apparently done… Emily claims that someone had bought multiple burner phones that they used to harass her via text for a year, and that she “knows” it was me. Emily claims that she baited this person into believing she was a danger to herself to see if she could call their bluff. And that me calling for a wellness check is proof I was harassing her. I was heartbroken when I heard this, unlike Emily I earn very little and unlike my other sisters I’m not funded by our parents. They know I live paycheque to paycheque, and work long hours… they know very well I can’t afford the so called “multiple burner phones”, and don’t have the energy or time to harass my worst enemy, let alone my own family. Since this weird accusation, I’ve taken a step back from them, opting out of spending Christmas with them. To which I received grief, being told everyone was disappointed in me for not going to see them. I’ve decided to softly cut them out, I will send them nice texts occasionally, but I’m not interested in seeing them. I’ve made that very clear to them that I’m not happy with them and that I need to stay away for my wellbeing.

2025-10-19 16:38:51

Elise Dubois

Advice

My Ex-Husband Left Me for His Work Wife and Now He’s Begging for My Help

My ex-husband (Kevin) and I have been divorced for a year now, we’ve been married since we were 21 but he had to ruin it. During our marriage I seen how far apart we were from each other, Kevin had a work wife. To be honest I never understood why anyone in a relationship wanted a work wife or work husband, I felt like that was disrespectful. At the time I didn’t think anything of it because she was a coworker, that’s when he would spend more time with her, brought her over for dinner. He missed our anniversary to go out for her birthday, by that time I knew something was going on but I really had no proof. I seen his text messages between Jenn, very sexual (you would’ve thought they were a couple). He wasted so many years together for this? We have kids but clearly he didn’t care, if he was happy with her then good. Now we both coparent but I mostly take care of the kids, they go to their dads but they rather stay with me. Kevin and Jenn are still together, they have a 4 month old together so Kevin stops having time with the kids. Recently Kevin has been texting me the thing him and Jenn go through, they’re having trouble in paradise. I would always ignore his messages because it has nothing to do with me, they need professional help. This happened again, Kevin told me Jenn stole his credit card and left him with the baby so he doesn’t know where she is. It’s not my relationship so he needs to figure it out, this the first time I texted back to his nonsense. I told him I don’t care what his girlfriend did to him, stop telling me your business.

2025-12-16 17:30:14

Clara Jensen

Advice

AITAH for not helping our former friend who tried to get my fiancé deported

I (F26) am white and my fiancé (M31) is originally Japan but has pretty much been living here in the States since he was 13 and yes is a US citizen. I also have a group of friends from college and in that group was a woman who we'll call Karen (F25) who was the sister of our friend who I will call Ruth. Ruth, who is a genuinely nice person, was our friend but her sister Karen was the golden child sibling who only hung out with us because she (Karen) cannot maintain irl friendships of her own in part due to her anti-social tendencies and their mom pretty much pushed us to let Karen hangout with us since Karen was jealous of Ruth having real friends and we only tolerated Karen because of Ruth (who also didn't really want Karen hanging out with us). When Ruth moved here to the Northeast for college from Mississippi, Karen also followed her and their mom pushed Ruth to let Karen stay with her. Unlike the five of us, Karen did not go to college with us, scoffed at the idea of higher education and the only things she knew were what she saw online or whatever her boyfriend of the day was into. Over the years, since gradually became more and more hateful towards the LGBT, Jews and immigrants (bare in mind that my mom is an immigrant from the Czech Republic), thus we kind started distancing ourselves from her after first noticing it at around 2020 or so. Ruth unfortunately passed away in 2023 after a biking accident but we continued to allow Karen to hang out with us because of pity I guess, but a couple in our group outright cut her off after Ruth's passing while the rest of us just tried to gradually distance her, hoping she'd get the message or get bored and stop trying to contact us. However the breaking point was on October last year when Karen reported my fiancé to ICE because she thought or wanted to believe he was an undocumented migrant and when we confronted Karen, the conversation boiled down to that she felt it was "wrong" for me as a white woman to be with an Asian man and she felt that white girls like me should be with men who "look like" me and she felt uncomfortable with how my family is very welcoming and accepting of my fiancé. I come from a very liberal, upper middle class family, and we'd often take my fiancé out with us on family outings be it at our family's vacation home in Lake Champlain or sailing to Block Island on my grandpa's yacht. That said, Karen felt that someone of my status should be with someone who "looked like" me, saying that my fiancé didn't deserve my family (or words to that effect) and that she plainly said she wanted my fiancé deported so she could try to hook me up with the brother of her then boyfriend. Mind you, her then boyfriend (with whom she has a kid with) and his brother are misogynists who constantly shares Andrew Tate interviews, can't hold a job for long, yet expects women to stay home and "know their place", whereas my fiancé works in mental health and I work for my grandpa's law firm. After that, the rest of us told her to F off and up until the last week or two, we've gone NC with her. That said, after her boyfriend left her and their son, I think on December or so, and the government recently froze funding for welfare programs, she showed up at my door with her baby one day to demand that since my family is well off, I should help her, buy her groceries and ask my grandpa to give her a job since her EBT card was declined and her now ex vanished. I reminded her of how she tried to get my fiancé deported and how I'm not her friend so she should just F off. Apparently, she's also been badgering others in our friend group and her mom even called me, telling me off for not helping Karen and trying to justify what Karen did by saying "she was just doing what's best for you". I then asked her that since she's Karen's mom, why doesn't she help Karen or take her back in to which the mom said that her new boyfriend doesn't like having Karen or her other kids around. I reminded Karen's mom that Ruth was our friend but Karen is not and we have no obligations to Karen.

2025-10-28 12:07:54

Anya Petrova

Family

AITA for Refusing to Help My Sister After What She Did to Me?

I (28M) have a younger sister "Kelly" (26F). When I was in college, I worked to pay my expenses while Kelly received parental support, like new phones and vacations. I saved money after graduating to buy my first home. Kelly became pregnant, her boyfriend left, and my parents asked me to give her my house savings so she could 'get back on her feet.' I refused, as I felt I should not pay for her choices. My parents ended up mortgaging their house to help her. Last month, I bought my house. Kelly attended the housewarming BBQ late, barely spoke to me, and complained about my success compared to her 'crappy apartment.' Two days later, I learned Kelly told people at the BBQ that I bought the house by 'stealing inheritance money.' I confronted her, and she smirked, saying, 'Well, maybe you should’ve helped me when I needed it.' I told her she was toxic, selfish, and that I was done with her. Now, Kelly’s babysitter quit, and my parents are begging me to watch her kid, using the line, “Family sticks together,” and saying I need to 'be the bigger person.' I refused. Now the family is calling me a jerk for punishing an innocent child. I work full-time and this is not my responsibility. Am I wrong for refusing to help after everything she did?

2025-10-28 12:02:22

Anya Petrova

Advice

Man Asks If It Would Be Wrong To Attend Funeral Of A Girl He Helped Become Heroine Addict

I’m 26 and clean from heroin for 3 years. I was also a piece of shit and used to deal for a while. I managed to get with a beautiful girl named Marcy when I first started getting into the thick of things. She knew who I was but she said she loved me. I will regret this for the rest of my life, but I was the person who shot up Marcy for the first time. After that, there was no stopping her. She stuck around with me, probably because I was her dealer more than anything, but then I got clean and never saw her again for a long time. A year ago she reached out to me on Facebook and told me that she had been clean for a few months and she said that she didn’t hate me for what happened and she hoped I was still clean. Last week I got a call from my sister who told me that she saw on Facebook that Marcy had OD’d and there was a funeral service this upcoming Thursday. I immediately just burst into tears because I hoped that this would never happen and I feel so much guilt over it. I want to go to the funeral service for her but I’m afraid that my presence would be unwanted. At the most I would just slip in the back, pay my respects and leave. I need to do this for myself.

2025-10-30 09:36:37

Clara Jensen

Family

My Mother Kicked Me Out and Told Me To Become A Prostitute But Now Wants My Help

I (31F) was raised by a single mother with two younger brothers and growing up as a teenager it was like having Regina George as a parent. She belittled me constantly, controlled everything, screamed at me over little things and insulted me everyday. She convinced most of our family that I was a compulsive liar. By the time I was 16/17 I was prone to bouts of depression and anxiety (was called attention seeking for this) and body dysmorphia (she always called me the "pig of the family"). She was putting pressure on me to stay at home for uni because it meant she could control me and that she could have a live-in maid because I did most of the housework by then. I went for universities far far away from home and when she found out, she kicked me out just before my exams began so I could "experience what living in the real world was like." My dad's aunt took me in and I lived for the next few months at hers until I left for uni. My egg donor refused to help me out financially and told me to go into sex work if I was that desperate because she predicted I'd end up dropping out and relying on her anyway. I cut her off not long after and my grand- aunt helped me with money till she died in my final year. I managed to get through university with the money she left me and once I graduated, I had some money leftover to leave the country and start afresh. I moved to Ireland and there, I built a solid friendship group who encouraged me to get therapy. It took me a while but therapy, surfing, painting and adopting a few greyhounds healed me. I began dating my best friend and we married two years after. We're expecting a baby girl in Dec and we're moving back to his hometown in Austria when she's a toddler. I won't lie, I'm still a bit in disbelief over how much I've changed over the years and how content I am with my life right now. So this brings us to a few hours ago. My egg donor's sister kept in intermittent contact with me over the years and called me today to say that my mother was living in a house with no electricity or water back in our home country (for reference, I'm British and hopefully soon to be Irish Indian). She apparently was begging me for another chance because she was my mother and deserved kindness especially now that she was old. I laughed at this and told my aunt to tell her, "You can say I won't ever help her and to not contact me again. She can experience what living in the real world is like." My aunt told me that I was totally ungrateful and I was being too harsh because in Indian culture, we respect our elders. I asked my aunt why she couldn't ask my younger brothers and apparently, they both dropped out of uni and even now struggle to hold jobs so aren't as stable as me. I've blocked my aunt's number and my friends and husband are saying I did the right thing. But I also feel guilty because I can't imagine it being fun being an older person in a freezing cold flat with no electricity either. AITA?

2025-10-05 09:03:31

Luca Moretti

Advice

AITA for refusing to help pay for the damages my son caused at a party?

I (47M) have been married to my wife, “Marie” (46M) for over 20 years. We have two children, “Alice” (18F) and “Eric” (17M). We are fairly relaxed parents (our kids are allowed to drink, go out, try new things as long as we know and it’s safely done - preferably in our house). It’s legally allowed in our country. Recently, Eric went to party and happened to get in a fight. It was at one of his friends houses, which means he caused quite a bit of damage. After we seeked medical attention for him I received a call from the parent of the boy who threw the party. He insisted Eric did quite a lot in damages and I should be reliable for the compensation (or atleast part of it). The issue is, Alice recently got into the college of her choice, and I had been saving up to pay for her tuition. If I paid for the damages Eric caused, it would seriously delay my ability to pay for Alice’s education and would force her into financial aid. I explained to both my wife and Eric that I would tamper with Alice’s education because Eric made a dumb mistake. Eric has savings that he worked for months on end (overtime, extra work all the time) to save and it would cover all of the expenses. He wanted to put that towards his start-up or invest it in the stock market. My wife thinks it’s cruel to make Eric utilise his savings when Alice can easily take financial aid. I think it would be unfair to Alice to make her take out a loan when I promised her tuition. Eric and my wife are extremely upset at me, we have not told Alice anything, but I feel like I shouldn’t budge on this. The parent of the boy is an old time friend of mine and assured me that lawyers will be brought into this mess, but he does expect the money. I want to clarify that Eric has been punished in ways we see fit and he is definitely remorseful. He is otherwise a good kid and I am sure he has learnt his lesson.

2026-01-19 23:00:14

Elise Dubois