Category - Advice

Fresh updates and insights

AITA for not helping my husband repair his relationship with our daughter after he excluded her from a "guys only trip"?

Essentially, my husband has decided he wants to have a "guys only" trip this summer with my son (13 M) and nephew (12 M). My daughter (11 F) is a tomboy who is into sports and fishing and extremely close with her brother and dad, and the three of them often spent a lot of time together. My husband and I discussed this, and I insisted my daughter be included, but he mentioned that he really wants this time with his son and nephew, without any women present. I eventually gave in on the boys only trip, but warned him that our daughter would be hurt, and it was up to him entirely to fix it. He promised me he would. Ever since my husband told her she couldn’t go, my daughter’s behavior has changed. She no longer hangs out with her brother playing video games, and she has been extremely distant with my husband. Just this past week, during the Super Bowl, while my son and husband were watching the game, my daughter was tucked away in her room. Watching the Super Bowl together has always been a tradition for the three of them to do together (I'm not into sports ball), but this year, my daughter didn’t join them. I asked her if she was okay, and she gave a "yeah" and continued reading a book. My husband noticed this behavior and tried to cheer her up by telling her he would plan something really cool, just the two of them, but our daughter told him she didn’t want to do anything. My daughter needed to be picked up early from school for a dentist appointment. My husband said he would pick her up, but she texted me, asking, “Please, mom, can you pick me up and bring me?” My daughter also has been getting the school bus in the morning instead of catching a ride with my husband and son, which she typically does. Now my husband has been complaining to me about our daughter, saying he’s done everything to make it up to her and that I need to step in. I told him she would be hurt by him excluding her from the trip, and it’s entirely his fault she’s icing him out. He says we should be a team and try to fix this together, but he’s the one who caused this hurt, so it shouldn’t be on me to fix it. It’s starting to affect our relationship now, too.

2025-10-12 11:58:28

Luca Moretti

Advice

AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with my half siblings now that he's MIA?

My parents got divorced when I (16m) was 2. Until last year I split my time between them an equal amount. When I was 6 my dad remarried and had more kids with his wife. I never liked her much and we argued a lot. She hates my mom too, always did. Then last year a bunch of stuff changed. My dad was promoted and his base is now out of state. So he and mom agreed to change the custody schedule and she has me full time and I see him when he's "home". Him and his wife separated after that but they're still married and he goes to stay some weeks when he's "home" so I'm not sure what's going on there. But he's gone way more than he's there. His wife was pissed about the custody schedule with me changing and she tried to say she had raised me for 9 years and should be allowed to keep me in her and my half siblings' lives even if dad isn't always there. I didn't want to go so mom said no and dad was like whatever is fine by me. Since I turned 16 she's been more pushy about me being more involved in her household and not staying away when dad isn't around. She told me I should be helping out now because she's "essentially a single parent even if she's not". I really don't want to be around her and I told her I don't give a fuck about helping her. But she says I owe my family more and she's family whether I like it or not and so are my half siblings. I'm fine with my half siblings but not close and I don't need to see them more than I do. She's getting angrier at me and at mom because I won't help and won't spend a few hours or nights at her house when dad isn't there. She's even angrier that I told her she has no authority over me and my mom has custody now. When she brought up how she's been around most of my life I told her I never liked her and since it looks like her and dad are basically over I don't need to have anything more to do with her. She told me I'm disgusting for being so unhelpful and for turning my back on my family. I don't care what she thinks. But I know that this was harder on my half siblings and the last time I saw them they said they missed me. It was awkward because I don't miss them when I don't see them for months. But all they knew was me being there two weeks a month. Now I'm maybe there three weeks a year. AITA?

2025-10-06 19:30:02

Anya Petrova

Family

AITA for not helping my sister who became homeless just after she gave birth to her and my soon to be ex-husband's baby?

My sister (24f) and I (26f) were really close our whole lives and we moved away from our parents together when she was 18 and I was 20. I met my (soon to be) ex-husband here and we got married and my sister stayed close. We spent a lot of time together. Then a few months ago I learned my sister was pregnant and my husband was the father. I ended my marriage to him immediately and I told my sister I wanted nothing more to do with her and she was on her own. I had some of her stuff at my place and left it at my ex's place for her. For the rest of the pregnancy they were living together and then he wouldn't let her back in after the baby was born. She called our parents from the hospital and told them she had nowhere to go. That he was looking for custody and didn't want her back and I wasn't answering her calls. So they called me and after I heard them explain what was going on I told them it wasn't my problem. They tried to argue but I wasn't having any of it. She got a place at a shelter for single parents and she's still there several weeks on. With the custody dispute she can't move back to our parents and I am still refusing to help her out. My parents are angry because I won't even take her calls or reply to any messages she's sent. I actually blocked her because I knew she wouldn't stop. My parents don't know that part. But they're telling me I should be ashamed of myself for turning my back on her and the baby. I told my parents I owe her and the baby nothing. I told them it was just a shame she didn't choke on his dick when they were sleeping together behind my back. My parents called me disgusting for leaving them homeless. That I have room and could help. AITA?

2025-09-22 08:41:40

Elise Dubois

Advice

AITA for needing my daughter to help?

I (62) lost my wife ten years ago. This happened during that time, but has been brought up recently. When my wife died, I ended up relying heavily on my oldest, who was 16 and I’ll call Nancy. She gave up the most, I’ll admit that, because I needed someone to watch the younger boys while I worked. She could no longer be part of her soccer team, or her art program, I needed her home. During her senior year she told me going to prom was very important to her and to please figure something out so she could go. I said I would, but ended up forgetting about it and worked late. I got home to find her crying in her dress. I was tired and didn’t want to get into it, and told her I was sorry, but it wasn’t like she missed anything important. Nancy didn’t talk to me for days after that. When her college letters started coming in, I didn’t think much of it and assumed she’d pick a college close to hone. Well, she ended up getting a partial scholarship to a school several hours away. I was pretty upset because I still needed help, but she said she gave up two years of doing anything for herself to take care of her brothers and she wasn’t a replacement mom, and I used her. I said she was being dramatic and she couldn’t abandon her family, what were we supposed to do? She said I should be a parent and figure it out. There was a big fight but she left anyhow, I don’t have much contact with her now. My oldest son is a senior this year, and he was FaceTiming Nancy saying there wouldn’t be a prom and how he understood but he was disappointed because he really wanted to take his girlfriend. Nancy said she understood because she didn’t get to go to her senior prom either. He said he was sorry, but she said it wasn’t his fault he was just a kid, and that I didn’t come home when I was supposed to so she missed it. I came in and said it was pretty pathetic she was still hung up on that, and she snapped back it was far more pathetic to be so inept as a parent I couldn’t handle giving her one night that I knew was important to her. She then said goodbye to her brother and signed off. My son said I’m an asshole and that it was no surprise Nancy wanted nothing to do with me. I got angry and grounded him, but he just laughed. I don’t think it was at all appropriate for her to tell him that, but my son maintains I’m the only asshole here. So AITA?

2025-10-04 18:54:18

Jonas Bergström

Advice

AITA for telling my mom she needs help because I deserve a better mom?

My parents are divorced. I (15f) don't remember them being together. I was like 2 when their divorce was finalized. But there's a lot of heavy history. My parents were widowed when they met. I had two half brothers. Mom had a son "Shane" and dad had a son "Riley". They were 8 when my parents met and 10ish when my parents married. My half brothers did not like each other. It was bad. They were toxic to each other and did not want to be related through marriage or anything. Apparently the house was like a war zone and they'd wish each other dead, call each other names and they tried to break my parents marriage up multiple times. I've heard stories about this time and nobody thought my parents handled it well. But it was clear they wanted to be together more than anything at that point. The boys were 14 when I was born and when I was 7 months old Shane died. He'd been in a car crash. My parents were devastated. Riley wasn't. He did his best to support my dad (neither of my brothers liked their stepparent or bonded with them so Riley wouldn't really offer my mom much support). But dad let him spend time at friends houses because he knew it bothered mom that Riley was so unaffected by Shane's death. The day of the funeral my mom got so mad at Riley for not showing any grief or sadness and they started fighting. She said it was like he didn't care and even though he didn't say it, he didn't care. He hadn't loved Shane or cared about him. By the end of the night mom had started pressing Riley to grieve again. She said he'd lost his brother and Riley replied that he hadn't lost anyone. It was basically the end of my parents marriage. My mom hated Riley for still feeling that way, for not caring for real. Dad wasn't going to give up Riley though. So my parents divorced and it was apparently very messy and emotional. My mom still hasn't found any healthy coping with all of it. She's bitter. She hates Riley. She hates that Riley and I have a decent relationship. She hates that I know Riley but not Shane. She guilt trips me for talking to Riley when he's so okay with Shane being dead or for accepting gifts from him. Or when I don't make/buy something for Shane on his birthday. Any time she sees Riley she glares at him. I've even heard her growl when he's around. She's angry with dad as well. The way she puts so much on me sucks and I don't have a great relationship with her because of it. Sometimes I feel like she punishes me because I was too young to remember Shane with her. A couple of nights ago I told my mom I think she needs help because she's let the bitterness and grief she feels get in the way of her life and in the way of being a good mom to me. I told her I deserve a better mom. She got this weird look on her face and she slammed a door that night. And she was like that until I went to dad's last night. Before I left she called me cruel. So AITA?

2025-10-06 19:31:39

Clara Jensen

Advice

AITA for making kid cry on a plane multiple times

Me(17M) and my boyfriend(19M) were on a 15 hour flight. This 10 year old boy was sitting next to us, mom was seated in the row next to us. For first hour or two he was talking to me and showing me games on his ipad. I was fine with that, then he started asking questions about my hair and if he could touch it(I have half dyed pink so because of that I guess). I got tired of talking to him and told him I had to watch something so I just put on headphones. He started crying, his mother calmed him down and apologized to me, I said it was fine. Few more hours pass, he was asleep for few hours and I was playing on nintendo switch. He woke up and asked me if he could play. I let him play for half an hour, he managed to drop it 6 times during that half an hour so I told him it was about to die and he couldn’t play anymore. Crying starts again ofc, His mom asks me if I can let him play for a bit more but I say no. She didn’t say anything else. Then I was asleep, kinda laying down, I had my head in my boyfriend’s lap. I feel some weight on me, open my eyes and see that the kid is literally on top of me, climbing over to get to my bag, probably wanted the switch again. I sat up quickly because I was kinda surprised, he stumbled back but didn’t fall, he just got startled and another fit ensues. His mom was asleep to but she woke up from the noise and at that point she just started yelling at me for making her son cry multiple times,acting like a kid and not having empathy for a single mom. She said that I could easily let her son play for few more minutes and if I was so bothered by him we could’ve agreed to switch seats with her. My boyfriend told her that she was acting ridiculous. Flight attendant came and asked what the problem was, the mom said something about couple of empathetic assholes. At the end they got seated together in the back row. I feel kinda guilty about it now.

2025-10-04 17:37:15

Anya Petrova

Advice

AITA for not wanting to help my bio siblings and their kids?

I'll try to keep this short. I (27m) was born into a shitty and fucked up bio family. Bio parents didn't want kids, but kept having them. They were on drugs, liked to drink and party and were reckless and wild. They had 7 kids. I was the second youngest. When I was 6 my best friends mom essentially welcomed me as one of her kids. And my best friend and his younger brother became my brothers in every way except blood and she became my mom. I spent hardly any time with my bio family and when I was with them I simply watched them do drugs, steal each others drugs and argue over the drugs they had. My bio family were all in and out of jail. Usually there was no food so my bio siblings went hungry and I would just wait to leave and go back to my real family. My mom never adopted me but she's the woman I still think of as "mom". She had been a single mom and it was tough for her but she never made me feel like I wasn't hers. I lost her when I was 17 and even then she included me in inheriting from her. And because of her I was able to survive in the world. I found my place. I had a real family. I'm in a good place now. I live with my girlfriend and I'm close to my brothers. Bio siblings found me recently and all their lives are shit. Three of them have kids they can't take care of and they wanted my help. I turned them away. I have no desire to be part of their lives and I don't want them fucking up mine. I don't consider them family any more than I consider my bio parents family. Bio siblings tried using their kids to talk me around but it didn't move me. They said I was an asshole and that I should be helping them out since I had a better start than they did, and that I got all the luck while life fucked them over again and again. AITA?

2025-09-16 17:53:47

Elise Dubois

Advice

My Fiancé doesn’t want to help pay bills, help!!

I (F30) really need some advice, my fiancé (M33) has lived with me for the past several months now and every time it is brought up that he ideally should be helping with the bills it ends up in a massive argument about how ungrateful I am and that I’m a money grabber and trying to squeeze every penny out of him but, he pays nothing? He contributes nothing to the household, he doesn’t want to help tidy up when he’s finished work because he’s tired but him going to work benefits this house in no way because I’m the sole provider for everyone, he doesn’t help financially and has cooked once in the past 4 weeks, has his clothes washed, dried, folded and put away, tea cooked after he’s finished work, drinks made, if he’s not got clothes he wants to wear in the wardrobe I have to go downstairs and find some for him out of the ironing basket. He thinks I’m out of order for asking for financial support as he feels he does “enough for us”, the children aren’t his and Ive never asked for a penny from him until now. So AITA? Or should he be paying his way in a home he lives in 7 days a week? Any advice welcome as I’m at my wits end and feel lost 😩

2025-10-12 11:58:12

Luca Moretti

Family

AITA for refusing to help my wife's family anymore?

I (34m) got married 9 years ago to my wife Jessica (33f). Jessica and I have two children Robyn (7f) and Theo (5m). Growing up I didn't have a family. I was a foster kid who was bounced around a lot because sometimes my bio mother would take me back but she'd always end up losing custody again or placing me back. When she finally stopped trying I was 11 and too old for most people who wanted babies or really little kids. So I aged out of the system without being adopted or finding a family. I had hoped when Jessica and I met that I'd be welcomed by her family. But that's not how it went. Took me years to figure it out though. They look down on me. They're not totally obvious about it but I see it in the way they are with me vs the way they're with the other sons/daughters in law. Like asking them about Christmas plans but saying they didn't expect us to do anything else because I don't have a family. Or asking about the others jobs and promotions but never me, then acting so shocked both times Jessica or I mentioned I was promoted. There was a time when my SIL mentioned a foster kid who won a scholarship to college and it made it into the local news. The whole family's reaction was "oh wow a foster kid making it to college is so unexpected" and Jessica pointed out I went to college. They looked a little uncomfortable and I heard two of her siblings whisper something about "Jessica and that story" so I assume they believed she lied about where we met. They don't make an effort for my birthday. They make assumptions that I don't spend time with my kids. They assume any effort made by me is me doing it for Jessica and don't believe me when I say it's not. Yet they will always ask for my help with repairs around the house or assembling something, because I'm good at that stuff. I have helped Jessica's parents and all her siblings at least twice. Once I realized (with help from therapy) that they really didn't like me and seem to think less of me for being a foster kid, I did that stuff for Jessica and not for them. But then a few weeks ago Jessica's parents had issues with the stairs. I went and fixed them up. I was hours working on one part and had to go and get extra materials. It was a whole thing. Some of the family came over while I was there and Jessica's parents made food for them... but nothing for me. When I asked them if there was any for me they told me they didn't think I'd want to eat after working so hard... for hours... with no food in between. I told them they didn't think that, they simply didn't want to be polite to me and offer food after doing all that work for them. I was called out by Jessica's parents and her siblings. Jessica took my side as did some of the the siblings spouses. But I was called out again for not helping fix a shelf for one of Jessica's sisters and saying never again would I help any of them. They said family helps family. I asked them when they ever treat me like family. AITA?

2025-09-12 21:48:04

Anya Petrova

Advice

Aita for not helping my wife's best friend get back with my wife after she accused me of cheating

Yesterday i came back home after work and I witnessed my wife crying, she was crying so much she couldn't even speak properly, after alot of efforts to calm her down I asked her for the reason of her crying so much and why is she behaving like this. I won't lie at that moment my wife was acting like she's possessed by some entity from underworld, after she calmed down and I asked her she told me that I am cheating on her that's why she was heartbroken and angry at me. My situation is so dumb and hilarious and depressing all at the same time and please excuse my pathetic english I was confused cause I didn't cheat on her, hell I don't even talk to opposite gender unless it's necessary, my wife called for her best friend who told her that I am cheating on her. My wife's best friend said that I am a cheater and she saw me in mall and an older woman hugged me and kissed me on my cheek, I showed her a photo from that day and asked her if she's the same woman and she said yes I was speechless and when I showed the photo to my wife she went silent as well, I told her friend that the woman in question is our aunt, my wife got angry and kicked her out and said she doesn't want to talk to her. After she left my wife turned on me and I couldn't stop laughing so my wife got angrier and told me that if she ever finds me talking to other women she'll skin me alive, I tried my best and stopped laughing and told her that I will agree to madam but she must kiss me in return. After all this stupidity my wife calmed down but her best friend is calling me and texting me and she's saying that I should help her get back with my wife and she didn't mean to hurt her, maybe I was a bit mean but I told her to deal with it I am kinda happy that my wife and her stupid friend broke off and I have my wife all to myself but I still feel like I should help her

2025-10-06 15:08:49

Elise Dubois

Advice

AITA for telling my fiancé he has to stop helping his ex with rent

My fiancé (26M) and I (25F) are supposed to get married next spring, but there’s one thing that’s keeping me from wanting to continue with the wedding until this is solved. Him and his ex had a baby when they were both 22, but broke up shortly after the baby was born. We started dating a year later, and are now engaged. The child is now 4. He wants to stay close to his daughter, but the baby’s mother cannot afford rent in a place closer, and would have to move to either to a one bedroom, a bad neighborhood about 25 minutes away, or a decent neighborhood an hour away, so my fiancé made an arrangement that he’d help her pay for rent, give her $200 a month, plus another $100 for child care, in exchange of not putting him on child support. The $100 I can understand, but the helping with rent is really bothering me, and I feel like if she can’t afford rent then she needs to find another place to live. I’d be willing to take in her daughter if she decides to get a one bedroom instead, but my fiancé got angry and said the decisions he makes about his child do not involve me. His ex found out, and said that if he stops helping with rent she’s gonna have to go for child support, and that she’s “helping us out” because apparently she can get more from child support because of how much my fiancé makes. However, I think this is just an empty threat. I told my fiancé I’m not marrying him unless he stops.

2025-10-04 17:35:22

Luca Moretti

Advice

AITA for “letting” my ex and my kids’ half siblings “be poor” when I could help?

I have an ex with whom I share two kids (13M & 12M). Our relationship did not work out and we broke up seven years ago. Since I was the financially stable one, she wanted me to have full custody. I have had full custody ever since. She has visitation, but she only uses it intermittently. Quickly after the breakup, she started dating a guy “with money.” He is from overseas. She quickly got pregnant by the guy and they had a son. The guy did not want to “raise someone else’s kids,” so she moved three hours away and completely stopped seeing our kids for almost two years. It turns out the guys’ money was actually family money, and when his conservative family found out about my ex and the baby, they cut them off. Also, their son had some developmental issues. She got pregnant again and a few months later, her BF left and returned to his home country. She is now 6-ish months pregnant with no job and taking care of a special needs kid. She called me last week and asked me for financial help. They are living out of a motel and she is running out of money. I have a lake house about 30 minutes from her. She asked if she could stay there. I said “no.” She asked if I would send her money, I said, “no.” She called me an AH. She said that I am letting “my family” suffer unnecessarily when I have the means to help. I told I have no obligation to help. We have been arguing ever since. AITA

2025-09-24 14:06:45

Luca Moretti

Family

AITA for telling my husband that since he did not help funding my mother's healthcare, I will do with the inheritance what I want?

I am (29f) a SAHM, I take care of the home and my son (4m) while my husband Sam (31m) works. I haven't had a job in four years as Sam wanted me to be a SAHM by the time our son was born. I accepted, since Sam has an absurdly good salary, and mine was not that great. My mom fell ill half a year ago. Her diabetes became quite complicated and she needed some medical care. We don't live in the US, so the expenses were relatively small. I asked Sam to please give me half of the total medical bill, since my brother (25m) was going to pay the other half. Sam refused to pay a penny from the bill, and since I have no income, my brother had to pay it all. Sadly, my mom passed away a month ago. My brother and I just got the whole estate in order. Each of us is going to get a somewhat considerable figure, since my mother had some properties (which she did not sell as they are in poor condition). This morning my husband told me he wants me to sell my my part of the inheritance, so we can make some (non-vital) house repairs and possibly go on vacation. I laughed, more out of anger than anything else, and told him that he had no right to suggest how to make use of the inheritance that my mother left, when he refused to even pay half of her medical bills. He called me an AH and went to work. I got a call from his sister, who was extremely angry. She called me irrational and told me that since I was living off the money Sam earns, I have no right to demand money from him, and that the inheritance gives me the opportunity to return some of the money he has spent on me. The call really got me thinking, and now I wonder if I'm really behaving like an AH. Edit: I've received a lot of comments asking the same questions, so I will answer them here. 1.- Why did my brother and I received an large inheritance but helped my mom with the treatment? My mom didn't leave us cash, she left us properties (4 in total). This properties are basically in ruins, and need a ton of work done, so my mom didn't receive any income from this properties. She placed two of them for sale, but they never sold since the real state market is extremely expensive here. 2.- Why did my mom paid her “main treatment”? My mom paid the hospital her entire treatment there, so, her hospitalizacion or any larger procedure. My brother and I wanted to help her with medical appointments (she visited several especialists outside the hospital) and medicines (the hospital didn't cover them). That's why I said that the the expenses were relatively small. Apologies if my redaction is confusive. 3.- I made the mistake of commenting that my husbands earns five zeros, but it's in my currency. Not in dollars. He earns montly about 12 thousand american dollars.

2025-10-19 19:52:48

Anya Petrova

Advice

AITA for expecting my niece and nephew to help out on the farm while I watch them?

I'm a 34 year old woman and am currently watching my niece who is 10 and my nephew who is 7 for my Brother and SIL over the Spring Holiday so they can go on on a kid fee holiday. I run the family farm as my older brother wasn't interested in taking it over when our parents got too old to keep up with the demands it has. As the kids are staying with me for the time being I decided they'd help out on the farm in age appropriate ways, nothing too taxing and honestly far less than what my brother and I did at their ages. If they do this in the morning they're free to spend the afternoon as they please. I think it's a good way to teach them responsibility and besides I don't have kids so the farm might end up being taken over by one of them one day if they take an interest in it. My Brother and SIL phone the kid each night to say goodnight/check how they're doing and they mentioned how they were helping out on the farm, when I talked to my brother and SIL after the kids said goodnight my SIL was angry and demanding to know why I was forcing her children to work and how they were here on vacation and it wasn't right of me to do that. My brother asked what they'd been doing and when I told him it was mostly mucking out the stables and feeding the animals he tried to talk her down but she was even more upset to know her children were doing something so "dirty." I was rather bemused by this as it's honestly not that bad it's not like they're rolling about in the dirty stables. I told her how they were having fun and it's honestly not that bad and did no harm to me and my brother growing up. She has told me she doesn't want my kids lifting a finger for the rest of the time I have them and it's their holiday so they should be treated as such, my brother clearly thinks she's overreacting but he also tends to defer to her in most things so i'm getting no support there. Honestly I don't know what to do, i'm running a business not a resort so I can hardly wait on them hand and foot while my brother and SIL are on holiday. Is it truly so bad that i'd expect them to help out in the mornings while staying?

2025-09-22 11:18:32

Jonas Bergström

Family

Aita? For not paying money to help my brother after he told my son this?

So, when I was 19 I got pregnant with my son and his dad bailed after fighting with me wanting to go through with the pregnancy. My family told me straightforward that they will not pay a penny nor become responsible for my son and that I needed to get a job as soon as possible so I can afford my own place. During my stay I was treated poorly. I was pregnant, working, and wouldn't eat/wear/use anything unless I'm paying for it. My parents were awful to me and they were doing this to me to get back at me for my decision to keep my baby at the time. My brother was treated like the golden child. He was worshiped in every way and his wife was the lady who get a special treatment because "she was pregnant with their grandbaby". At that point I knew my son will be treated poorly if he grows up around them. I moved out when my son was 5, after my brother was visiting my parents house and he yelled at my son for playing and told him that I should've aborted him and that i would've saved the whole family all this headache. He said this within my earshot and I decided to move out after everyone defended him. And I went no contact with him. I was able (and from the help of my work) to get my own place and pay mortgage comfortably. My son is 7 years old. I'm now taking courses at the academy to improve my knowledge/skills and of course my salary. Luckily I have met wonderful people that treat me nicely and respect me as a person and as a mother. I don't see much of my family just mom. She'd visit regularly and I appreciate her for that. My brother sold his house and got a rented apartment to save money for paying for construction machines and starting a business. That was 2 years ago, but he failed and is now stuck paying rent and taking care of his kids. My mom said he's devastated and broken. She said she felt sorry when he was crying and blaming himself that his family went through this. She told me the whole family is rising money to help his situation out. We started arguing when she didn't like my response and said th st family is family no matter what. She said that despite everything he is my brother and that I should at least feel sorry for his poor kids. I called her unreasonable to try to get the kids involved to get me to empathize with his situation I told her that the family didn't do that when I needed help. And I was literally paying for everything back then. She said she wouldn't visit me anymore if I choose to be this cruel and selfish and now she's calling wanting me to meet my brother so we can talk. But I feel hesitant especially since they brushed off my feelings like that.

2025-09-24 16:43:09

Clara Jensen

Advice

AITA for not wanting to help?

My sister just had a baby. My mom wants to visit her and help her with the cleaning, cooking, etc so she can spend all her time with the baby. I said I didn't want to help, and she was annoyed with me. She said if I didn't help I can't come. I said that was fine and I would stay home. My mom agreed that I could stay home as long as I called her every day to let her know I was alive/safe. However, today she told me she's turning the internet off before she leaves and said she won't turn it back on until she returns. I think this is unfair that I'm being punished for not wanting to clean my sister's messes. She said I'm not being punished, but if I won't do something nice for my sister she isn't going to let me use the internet either. She then said she was going to call the phone company and have my cell phone turned off (we have a landline) until she returns. I asked my mom what will happen if there's an emergency when I'm out. She said even disabled phones can call 911 and that I'm not allowed to go anywhere but school anyway, and if she calls the house and I don't answer she won't turn my phone back on ever. I think she's being crazy. We keep arguing, and she says she's going to do all this first thing tomorrow (she leaves Wednesday). I've never seen her act like this. Am I really wrong?

2025-09-20 12:20:57

Elise Dubois

Advice

AITA for helping pay off one of my daughter's student loans and not the others?

I'm currently being given the cold shoulder by both my youngest daughter and wife over this so I thought I'd get an outside opinion. Both of my two daughters graduated from simimlarly costing universites, I had a school fund set up for both of them but it didn't cover everything. They both after graduating had about 60k in student loan debt. They also both were lucky to find jobs in their fields a few months after graduating with similar salaries about 55k a year. However, they took vastly different approaches to their debt, my eldest for the last three years has lived extremely frugally and outside of basic needs and bills all her extra money goes into paying her debt off. My youngest on the other hand asked if she could live at home until she gets her loans paid off, but she still only pays the minimum required to send every month and spends the rest of her money on herself. Now the issue started a few days ago, my eldest called me all excited because her loan debt was down to $500 and she would be able to finally pay it off when she next gets paid. We spoke for a bit more and after the call ended I decided to surprise her by sending her 1k, to pay off the rest of her debt and so she could finally have some money to do something for her for once. When I was talking to my wife and youngest daughter over dinner about how impressed I was that she paid it off so fast, my youngest started yelling about how I've never given her money towards her loans. I explained that while I'm not directly paying them Im still helping her by letting her live at home rent free and she could be closer to paying it off if she spent less on things she doesn't need. After screaming and crying to me a bit more she stormed off and is staying at her boyfriends currently. My wife thinks that I should promise to give her some money each month to help her pay the loan off faster so we can keep the peace at home but I don't think I should reward her for nothing.

2025-10-09 14:25:22

Jonas Bergström

Advice

AITA for telling my mom she's just as bad as the people who leave fake tips?

Yesterday my mom and I went out to a restaurant to get some dinner. We haven't been out to eat since pre-pandemic so this was a treat for us. We got there before the dinner rush so about 10 minutes after we were sat and ordered tons of people started turning up. One group was a family of 7. Parents, a teen girl, a pre-teen boy, two toddler girls, and a baby boy. They'd taken up two tables to the left of us and started up instantly with the ruckus. Our waitress was swamped, her whole section got filled in the span of 5 minutes so I didn't blame her for being stretched thin. But the dad next to us was audibly complaining about the 'shit-tier' service. I heard him say "I know how to get her attention" before we saw him pull out what I thought was a $20. But then I saw the other side of it and it was white with some text. I instantly knew what it was and was appalled. I watched him fold the "20" in half and tuck it under the ketchup. The waitress saw it too and brightened and was extra nice to them. I was disgusted because I was a server for 10+ years so I've had people pull that on me and it's DEVASTATING to be paid pennies and think "oh i'm getting a good tip!" only to have the rug yanked out from under you with one of those fake money bible verse pamphlets. I told my mom I was going to tell the waitress but she said for me to mind my own business. I told her what they were doing was shitty and despite her hushing I waved the waitress over when my drink got low and gestured for her to lean in a bit before whispering that the 20 the table had out was fake, it was just one of those pamphlets disguised as money. She looked stunned but thanked me. Afterwards it was pretty obvious that that table was getting the least amount of attention she could get away with giving them. She didn't ignore them but they were definitely her absolute last priority. I guess they didn't like that and left asap, leaving the fake 20 there. And yeah I saw her pick it up, check it, then toss it. I felt really bad for her, she was clearly busting her ass. So I left her a really good tip, 3x the usual amount I leave. On the ride home my mom and I got into an argument. She was mad at me for being meddlesome in things that didn't concern me. But I think I did the right thing. I'd have wanted someone to tell me if I'd been in her shoes. I got mad and snapped that she was just as bad as the dick who thought leaving a bible verse was adequate payment. She yelled for me to not raise my voice at her but I said I wouldn't have if she'd been a decent person. But then my brother agreed with her so now I'm at a loss. Was I the AH for snapping at my mom? AITA?

2025-11-08 20:14:53

Luca Moretti