Category - Advice

Fresh updates and insights

AITA for "abandoning helpless women in the wilderness"?

I, mid-30s M, work for my USA state's park system (big forests and wilderness areas type parks, that is). I spend most of my time outdoors and do a ton of hiking. The day this happened I was finishing up a long, challenging hike on my day off at a nearby large wildlife refuge that is privately owned (i.e., not a state park/my place of employment, though I know everyone who works there). The refuge has a trail system with four trails of differing difficulties and lengths, from blue (wide, easy, about 2.5 miles) to red (difficult, 16.5 miles). All trails loop and share the same start/end. So a person like me doing red will spend some time on the trails with those doing the other ones. I was in the last mile or so before the parking lot and was pretty bushed from the long trail. I heard really loud screaming/moaning up ahead and ran to see what was happening. I came upon two women, who I'd learn were mother and daughter (hard to tell ages, I'm guessing 50s and 30s. Not elderly). Both, especially the mother were heavy-set (this may matter). The mother was the one wailing as she sat on a rock. I was concerned (she's shrieking in a forest, after all). I learned that, oh yes, she's "horribly" injured. In the mile and a half they'd done on blue, she had developed a blister. Don't get me wrong, blisters hurt, I know very well. But I truly thought she was being murdered when I heard her. I didn't say anything negative. I have a nicely stocked med kit in my pack, with all sorts of options for blisters, so I offered her whatever she likes. She took her shoe off and stuck her leg at me, clearly indicating that I'm to treat the blister. Yeah, no. Not happening. No strange lady feet in the forest for me. I politely refused and again offered her the med kit. Mother starts moaning and crying. Daughter speaks up for the first time, something along the lines of "just do it." I refused again and put some blister bandages on the rock. I made to move on, and Mother demanded water, very rudely. Yeah, no, I have a hydration pack. She isn't putting her mouth on my bite valve. I'm now fully over helping these people. I made to leave ("well, you're almost to the trail end, so I'll be going"), and she demanded I help her out of the forest. Without waiting, she's on her feet and leaning her full weight on me, with an arm around my neck/shoulders. She weighed at least double what I do, and the way she flung herself on me wrenched my back. I moved away quickly, she lost her balance a bit but didn't fall. I said that I was leaving, that we're less than a mile from parking, and that I was done with this encounter. We all had cell service, so I told them that if she needed to be carried out because of a fucking blister, they could call people paid to deal with their shit (I said both curse words). They scream at me for abandoning helpless women in the wilderness and call me names as I walk on. The daughter called me fatphobic (not sure why, I never said anything at all related to that). I yelled back that I just wasn't interested in their brand of bullshit. I got to my car ten minutes or so later and left. On my way out of the park I stopped at the office. I know everyone there and give them a heads up about the women.

2025-11-27 11:46:33

Luca Moretti

Advice

My Dad Calls Me 'The Thing' To My Face So I Refused To Keep Helping Him

My parents are both in their 80s and live about two hours from me. For reference, I have a sibling that lives right down the road from them. Neither of them have aged well- they always refused to be active and have lived very sedentary lives in their retirement so aging has been hard on them. My father especially has struggled with type 2 diabetes and dementia/alzheimers. He is very combative and mean about everything, which is how he has always been, but dementia and old age has made it worse. He directs a lot of his anger towards me and is especially mad that I am trying to get them to move into assisted living because they fall constantly and need so much help. Anytime he disagrees with me about anything he starts screaming and calling me names including “ fat-a** and “the thing.” “The thing” hurts especially hard because I am his daughter and he is reducing me to something that is hardly human. He will say “ don’t look at the thing over there, she’s so ugly she might break your face” or just ridiculous stuff. He does this when he is completely lucid and remembering everything/everyone. Or he will say “ don’t feed the thing,” when my mom tries to offer me food. I tried so hard to ignore this treatment, but once he did it in front of my kids I put my foot down and stopped visiting. My mother now wants me to come to her 3+ times a week to help with cooking,cleaning, helping dress my father, etc. i have said no because the way he treats me is terrible and I have to look out for my own well being. She says I just need to ignore it because he is old and grumpy. She says I take things too personally and I am obligated to help them because they raised me. AITA for saying they need either a full time nurse or assisted living? UPDATE: Thank you all so much for your feedback, advice and commiserations. I am going to tell them they need assisted living or an in home nurse, but it is not me anymore. I do want to also add that while my father does have dementia this mean and cruel behavior and my mother’s behavior is not new, they have always been this way with me, my father just has less restraint in his old age.

2025-09-24 13:33:57

Jonas Bergström

Advice

Husband Refused to Help With My Dying Mom's Bills But Now Wants My Entire Inheritance

I am (29f) a SAHM, I take care of the home and my son (4m) while my husband Sam (31m) works. I haven't had a job in four years as Sam wanted me to be a SAHM by the time our son was born. I accepted, since Sam has an absurdly good salary, and mine was not that great. My mom fell ill half a year ago. Her diabetes became quite complicated and she needed some medical care. We don't live in the US, so the expenses were relatively small. I asked Sam to please give me half of the total medical bill, since my brother (25m) was going to pay the other half. Sam refused to pay a penny from the bill, and since I have no income, my brother had to pay it all. Sadly, my mom passed away a month ago. My brother and I just got the whole estate in order. Each of us is going to get a somewhat considerable figure, since my mother had some properties (which she did not sell as they are in poor condition). This morning my husband told me he wants me to sell my my part of the inheritance, so we can make some (non-vital) house repairs and possibly go on vacation. I laughed, more out of anger than anything else, and told him that he had no right to suggest how to make use of the inheritance that my mother left, when he refused to even pay half of her medical bills. He called me an AH and went to work. I got a call from his sister, who was extremely angry. She called me irrational and told me that since I was living off the money Sam earns, I have no right to demand money from him, and that the inheritance gives me the opportunity to return some of the money he has spent on me. The call really got me thinking, and now I wonder if I'm really behaving like an AH. Edit: I've received a lot of comments asking the same questions, so I will answer them here. 1.- Why did my brother and I received an large inheritance but helped my mom with the treatment? My mom didn't leave us cash, she left us properties (4 in total). This properties are basically in ruins, and need a ton of work done, so my mom didn't receive any income from this properties. She placed two of them for sale, but they never sold since the real state market is extremely expensive here. 2.- Why did my mom paid her “main treatment”? My mom paid the hospital her entire treatment there, so, her hospitalizacion or any larger procedure. My brother and I wanted to help her with medical appointments (she visited several especialists outside the hospital) and medicines (the hospital didn't cover them). That's why I said that the the expenses were relatively small. Apologies if my redaction is confusive. 3.- I made the mistake of commenting that my husbands earns five zeros, but it's in my currency. Not in dollars. He earns montly about 12 thousand american dollars.

2025-10-19 19:52:48

Anya Petrova

Advice

Woman’s Dine-And-Dash Scheme Goes Spectacularly Wrong After Latest Victim Requests Separate Checks Thanks To Friendly Tip-Off

I (28m) work with this woman Lydia (24f) who has a very annoying habit. She has a dating profile that she uses specifically to lure guys to buying her expensive dinners at restaurants she wants to try and then ghosts them. Lydia brags about this all the time, and is never interested in actually dating, but she’ll act like it to sell it. I can’t stand this because it’s playing with people’s hearts, but Lydia thinks of it as a life hack to try food or drinks she otherwise couldn’t afford. My friend Daniel (32m) is also on dating sites, but for the right reasons. His late wife died a few years ago, and he’s just started jumping back into the dating scene. Daniel’s a very sweet guy, and I really want him to find a great lady for him. A few days ago, he texted me asking if I knew Lydia. They matched and got to talking about work, which is how he found out we worked at the same place. I told him all about Lydia’s BS with the restaurant thing, and made it very clear to him he would do best to drop things with her early on. Daniel said he’d probably still do the date but ask for separate checks. Well they went out this past weekend and on Monday Lydia came into work very upset. I asked her how her date with Daniel went, and she ripped into me asking if I was the one who told him not to pay for her dinner. Apparently she had Daniel take her to a high end steakhouse and she ended up splurging. She got a drink, a full entree with a side and dessert where Daniel just ordered a sandwich and salad. Her bill alone came to $70 something, and she was almost in tears at work as she didn’t expect to pay for it and now her car was low on gas. I got a little upset too as she tried to use my friend as a literal meal ticket, but somehow she doesn’t see it that way. Daniel told me later the date was going kind of well until he asked for separate checks, and then Lydia just got weirdly cold. So now Lydia’s mad at me because I told someone about her little tactic and it backfired on her. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong since it was a grieving friend I was protecting but some other people we work with said I should have stayed out of it because it was none of my business

2025-10-05 10:18:47

Luca Moretti

Advice

My Dad Refused To Help Us For Years So I Finally Kicked Him Out Of My Mom's House

My (19M) parents got divorced when I was about 10 and my mom always provided for us. She had an amazing job and me and my brother (17M) got everything we needed and wanted. My dad on the other hand, was jealous of my mom making a lot more money than him and when they were still together my mom would pay for everything (even my dads credit cards). After they divorced, whenever me or my brother would ask him for money (to buy school stuff or anything) he would refuse and say “Tell your mom, she has a lot of money”. Sadly my mom had stage 4 cancer, and when she started getting weaker she told me and my brother to be careful around my dad, specially with money because he would try to claim the heritage. I didn’t want to believe her, since he was my dad. I didn’t think he was capable of doing such a thing (She knew she didn’t have much time left). After my mom passed away, we decided the best thing to do was to live with our dad (In my moms House), and all my mom told us about turned out to be true. He hasn’t provided for us as he should and wanted to claim the heritage, because we shouldn’t have access to so much money. (I plan to invest the money) He has been living there rent free since my mom passed away. He hasn’t gave us a penny, he wants us to use the money my mom left us, that I would like to use to invest and finance my studies. Fast forward a few years, I’m studying in Europe and I’m financing my studies on my own and being honest, I’m having a hard time paying for everything (rent, health insurance, food etc.) My dad hasn’t give me a penny and I decided to kick him out of the house so that I can rent it and finance my studies and my brother’s. He refused and I proceeded with a lawyer. Of course I wan and he now blames me because I should help him, he’s my father. But he never helped me. AITA? I tried to tell it as short as I could, a lot of details are missing but I think you get the point. Excuse my English, it’s not my native language

2025-09-16 22:27:23

Luca Moretti

Family

My Family Demanded I Pay To Help My Abusive Brother After They Shunned Me For Keeping My Son

So, when I was 19 I got pregnant with my son and his dad bailed after fighting with me wanting to go through with the pregnancy. My family told me straightforward that they will not pay a penny nor become responsible for my son and that I needed to get a job as soon as possible so I can afford my own place. During my stay I was treated poorly. I was pregnant, working, and wouldn't eat/wear/use anything unless I'm paying for it. My parents were awful to me and they were doing this to me to get back at me for my decision to keep my baby at the time. My brother was treated like the golden child. He was worshiped in every way and his wife was the lady who get a special treatment because "she was pregnant with their grandbaby". At that point I knew my son will be treated poorly if he grows up around them. I moved out when my son was 5, after my brother was visiting my parents house and he yelled at my son for playing and told him that I should've aborted him and that i would've saved the whole family all this headache. He said this within my earshot and I decided to move out after everyone defended him. And I went no contact with him. I was able (and from the help of my work) to get my own place and pay mortgage comfortably. My son is 7 years old. I'm now taking courses at the academy to improve my knowledge/skills and of course my salary. Luckily I have met wonderful people that treat me nicely and respect me as a person and as a mother. I don't see much of my family just mom. She'd visit regularly and I appreciate her for that. My brother sold his house and got a rented apartment to save money for paying for construction machines and starting a business. That was 2 years ago, but he failed and is now stuck paying rent and taking care of his kids. My mom said he's devastated and broken. She said she felt sorry when he was crying and blaming himself that his family went through this. She told me the whole family is rising money to help his situation out. We started arguing when she didn't like my response and said th st family is family no matter what. She said that despite everything he is my brother and that I should at least feel sorry for his poor kids. I called her unreasonable to try to get the kids involved to get me to empathize with his situation I told her that the family didn't do that when I needed help. And I was literally paying for everything back then. She said she wouldn't visit me anymore if I choose to be this cruel and selfish and now she's calling wanting me to meet my brother so we can talk. But I feel hesitant especially since they brushed off my feelings like that.

2025-09-24 16:43:09

Clara Jensen

Family

AITAH for calling out my mom for lying about a family vacation I was excluded, lied to about, and asked to help for?

SIL rented a beach house and proceeded to invite all of my siblings and their partners, my nieces and nephews, and my mother. I wasn’t invited. They hid the trip from me, but SIL let it slip during a family dinner. When SIL let it slip, my mom lied to me and said it was just my mom and youngest sibling with partner who were going with them. The day they were leaving they missed their ferry boat so they called me for me to help arrange a charter. I helped them. The next day I find out it this was indeed a whole family trip - minus me. It should be noted we all live in the same city, so it’s not a situation that I live far away or something. It should also be noted that me and my family are taking a trip at the end of the month, and my SIL invited herself to tag along with her family, and they’re going. So it’s not a situation where I would think my SIL hates me, but who knows. I got upset and called my mom out for lying. I told her that what they did was shitty. My mom kept saying that only 12 people fit in the house SIL rented. I responded that the decent thing to do, if the intention was for everyone to go, was to find a house that fit us all or to let me know in case I wanted to go so that I could book my own accommodations, and if neither of those two reasonable options were available - than for her to go with just her family unit. SIL is very wealthy and often likes to rent huge lavish houses we can’t afford to pitch in for, and then just pay for everything. Everyone in my family is doing pretty well financially, just not SIL level wealthy where she’ll rent a house for 3 days that’s over $30,000.00. I’m not comfortable with this - like why can’t we find something we can all pitch in for and afford? But everyone would call me a complainer so I stopped making any comments a long time ago and just offer to pitch in what I can afford. Anyway, I know that for her the whole purpose of the trip was this house she rented, even if it meant I didn’t get invited. My SIL likes drama and likes to exclude people as well. One time she planned a yacht trip and invited me and my siblings, minus my mom and my youngest sibling - she was mad at them then. I told her if they weren’t invited, that’d create family drama that I wasn’t comfortable partaking in and that it would make my mom and youngest sibling feel bad. She said they’d just tell them they didn’t fit in the yacht. I thanked her for the invite but if my mom and youngest sibling weren’t invited I wasn’t going. So then she invited my youngest sibling and disinvited me. My youngest sibling went. I reminded my mom of the yacht situation and reminded her how upset she was over it. And then just said that it’s not a problem, not to invite me to anything else because my answer will from now one be only no, that they didn’t have to worry about only 12 fitting anymore because now they’re just 12. My mom apologized and said she shouldn’t have gone. I didn’t say anything else. AITAH? I don’t know if I’m overreacting.

2025-11-27 11:43:54

Clara Jensen

Advice

I Tried to Help a Client but They Accused Me of Being Transphobic After Their Wax

I (23F) am a waxer. I specialize in Brazilians, but do full body waxing. I’ve been doing this for a year and half. I see anywhere from 3-10 Brazilians per day. Male brazilians are scheduled 30-45 minutes and Female brazilian’s are 15-30. 2 days ago I had a guest come in who booked for a female Brazilian. I took them back and prepared them, came back in and right when I took away the sheet I immediately noticed that I couldn’t tell what exactly I was looking at. I deal with genitalia all day and have had every kind of anatomy. I honestly was trying to figure out if this was a male or female area while cleansing the skin and couldn’t figure it out, which is fine, the most important part of my job is making my guest feel comfortable. I am no doctor but from what I saw was what appeared to be an oversized clitoris (or maybe the tip of a small penis)and the outer labias but no vagina. I assumed I was working with an intersex person. The other hard part, was that this person didn’t “look” female or male. This person took me 40 minutes to wax, mostly because their anatomy was harder to work with. I feel awful even typing this because I sound so rude but I have no other way to describe it. Men’s waxes sometimes take longer because their scrotum is more sensitive and we have to prepare the skin better with the kind of wax we use. This person’s (appearing to be) outer labias had skin that was similar - it was wrinkled. The micropenis or clitoris was harder to work around. Again, I am not a medical professional, just a safe person who deals with peoples body’s, so I do not know what or how to describe these anyway else. I am really sorry if I sound stupid. Anyway, before I left the room I let them know that the next time they book, just to book for the 45 minute brazilian and not the 30. I noticed the look of confusion on their face and explained that everybody needs some extra time. This was me trying to be sensitive to how they identify. (I also was thinking about my coworkers, specifically the ones who are not signed off on men’s waxes, because we wait to train those until they are completely ready. I didn’t want them to be booked and not feel prepared for this person.) They pretty much replied “You want me to book a service meant for a man?” and I said, “No, I want you to book a service where you are taken care of, comfortably, in a allotted time that works for us as well”. They were visibly upset that I was saying this and have now contacted my boss stating that they felt unsafe and judged by me. I feel really upset. I had a great convo with them during the wax, I thought I built trust, and it was thrown away. I do not judge peoples body’s. It’s part of my job to help people realize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way they look. In their description to my boss they wrote, “..made me embarrassed of my identity.” I have seen HUNDREDS of people and I am now so worried that I waxed someone whose anatomy was just a bit different. I tried to handle it but I don’t know, I don’t even know if I am making sense right now. My boss seems understanding of my situation but also so disappointed in me. I don’t want to make people feel this way, but I was also trying to think of my coworkers who might be taken back. I don’t know. AITAH?

2025-11-27 14:34:59

Anya Petrova

Family

I Paid My Nephews To Help Me While Pregnant And My Brother Is Furious I Spoiled Them

My brother (age 45) has 2 sons, twins, age 17. They're not allowed to get jobs or learn to drive, as he doesn't want anything to detract from their studies. I've had many conversations with him where I've said that if they don't learn to multitask or prioritise or balance responsibilities this will screw them over in the long run, but he only sees short term. I (29f) am 5 months pregnant with my first child. My husband and I moved into a new home about 6 months ago, and we knew it was a fixer-upper when we moved in, but didn't anticipate me getting pregnant so soon, so while the house is perfectly safe and liveable, the majority of the fixing up has fallen on my husband. I've been helping out but I've been doing a tenth of what he has been doing. About a month ago my nephews approached me asking for help. Their plan was to sign on with an agency and tell their father that they were at my place during their shifts, and they wanted to know if I would go along with it. I agreed. My husband then said (when the boys left) that as the nursery still needed painting and the furniture assembled, if they wanted to help him out with that then he'd welcome the extra hands, as we aren't in a huge rush and we had enough money to pay them for their time and effort. There were a few other things on the to do list like fix and repaint the fence and clear out and convert the attic into a guest room. The next time we saw the boys they'd signed on to an agency, but they didn't get as many shifts as they hoped. We said if they wanted to help us out we could pay them £10 per hour. They agreed. The list was finished within a week. We gave the boys the money they'd earned, plus a bit extra, and they each had exactly £350. One asked if we could do an IOU type of thing, where I kept the money safe for him and gave it to him when he needed it, and I agreed. The other took it home with him and said he was going to keep it safe. My brother found the second twin's money, demanded to know where he got it from, and grounded both boys when they wouldn't tell him. I told my brother that I had given my nephew the money, and explained that he had been helping me out, and really laid it on thick with the pregnant thing. I didn't tell him that the other nephew had also helped. My brother yelled at me, said it wasn't my place to do that, they're his kids not mine, and if he wants them to work he'll put them to work. He then said that by paying them £10 an hour when the minimum wage for under 18 is £4.35 I had "spoiled" them and that they would "piss the money away". I said that while I respect that he is their father, it was my money and my choice what to do with it. AITA?

2025-09-20 15:00:16

Clara Jensen

Advice

AITA for refusing to help a coworker in need?

A few months ago, a new position was created at my workplace that I was interested in (and already doing about half the workload for). I was told if I apply for it, I'll get it from multiple directors. I applied for it. I did not get it. The Directors gave it to Mary. Turns out 4/5 on the hiring committee voted for me. The 5th with hiring power picked Mary because she "knows Mary better." Anyway, obviously I was pretty upset. Since then, I've continued to do my role but stopped doing anything beyond my job description that is now part of Mary's job. Here's the issue. Mary is STRUGGLING. A lot. She's been staying late to catch up. Every time I see her, she looks flustered/run down. She can't handle the workload and has hinted that she'd like me to continue doing what I was doing before. I've refused because 1. They chose Mary; 2. She's making significantly more than me now, and I don't want to do that work for the lesser rate. I might be TA: I could help her relatively easily. I have the time/skills, and I was already doing the work she's stru...

2025-08-02 17:36:40

Elise Dubois

Advice

Coworker screamed at me for bringing treats my toddler helped make to the office potluck

We had a potluck at work last week. I made this delicious brownie & cookie concoction with a caramel sauce. When I made it, my 2 year old was by my side and "helping" as much as he could. When I put the dish out at the potluck I added a sign that my son helped make it. I thought that was the right thing to do in case people had an issue with it. A co-worker who has made it known does not like kids, She has complained to HR about my kid being around at the end of the day for 15-30 minutes. This co-worker approached me and said that it wasn't fair that I made a dish that she wouldn't eat. I told her I just made the dish, i'm not concerned with who did and didn't eat it. She said that making a dish that wasn't made in a safe way and bringing it is not okay. I felt like providing the sign was enough to allow people to make their own decisions. She called me an asshole and I felt like she was blowing this way out of proportion. But AITA?

2025-09-26 15:13:41

Anya Petrova

Advice

Disturbed Husband Can't Seem To Get Over The Fact That His Wife Was An Escort During Her College Days, Seeks Advice Online

My wife (34F) and I (34M) have been married for almost 5 years. We have good jobs, a nice house, and we have two young kids. We have known each other since middle school, and we dated on and off through high school. We saw each other occasionally during those years when she was home for the summers and Christmas, and we hooked up a couple of times, but we kept it casual and didn't have much contact otherwise while she was away. I saw other people during that time. After college she moved back to this area, and we both lived in the same city. So we eventually started seeing each other again. It became serious, and we ended up getting engaged and got married a few years later. She is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, is my best friend and the love of my life. The weekend before last, we had our Covid-bubble couple (my wife's best friend and her husband) over for dinner, and had a few drinks (too many). The conversation moved to the subject of student debt and saving for college for our kids. The husband said he is still paying on his student loans since his parents didn't help pay for much, and my wife blurted out something like "yeah, mine didn't either", and she immediately went dark red. Now, I knew that she doesn't have any student loans, and I had assumed her parents had paid for most of it. She also had a job waiting tables (or so I thought), but there was no way she would have been able to pay for all of school doing that. I also noticed her friend looking very uncomfortable and they were exchanging looks. But I let it be, and the conversation moved on to other subjects and they eventually left. After they had left I asked my wife what that was all about, and she immediately started crying. Sobbing. She told me she was so sorry she hadn't told me before, but that while she went to college she worked as an escort to pay herself through school. She had wanted to tell me when we got back together she said, but she was too ashamed, and thought I would have dumped her if she did, so she "had just left it all behind" she said. I was completely caught off guard by this. I asked how she even got into that, and she said she was introduced to an agency by another student she had befriended at the school, and it went from there. In the beginning it had only been once or twice a month, but since she needed the money she had done it some more, but seemed vague and avoiding about telling me how much. I pressed her on how much she had been doing it, and she eventually said she'd done it a couple of times a week the last 3 years of school. So that's hundreds of times! Starting when she was still a teenager! I was so shocked. She cried and cried and asked if I could forgive her. She said she had been fully tested before we got back together, and had tested regularly while "working". I said it wasn't cheating since we weren't together at the time, so there isn't anything to forgive. I tried to console her, but she kept on crying uncontrollably. I asked if there was anything else she wanted to tell me, and she cried some more, and eventually said yes, she had also done porn! I was like "What!?" and she told me her agency had referred her to some porn company in Florida, and they flew her down there for a week. She "did 4 scenes" and flew back home. She had only done it this one time she said. She kept crying and crying, and I was completely shell-shocked at this point, but I tried my best to calm her down and said it is ok, I still love her and so on... Eventually she stopped crying and we went to sleep without another word (well, I didn't sleep much). We didn't talk about it the next day, and the next day after that, she asked me if I was ok and if I wanted to talk, but I said no I don't really feel like talking about it. She asked me again if I still loved her, and I said I did. And I do. I can't picture my life without her. But I'm having a very hard time with this to be honest. It's been more than a week, and I can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I don't know her at all. I keep thinking about those "4 scenes" and that they're probably still out there for anyone to see. I keep thinking about her going to hotels and meeting random guys. I want to know more, but I don't think I can handle knowing more. But I can't get it out of my head. It's all I think about. We haven't had sex since this conversation. I want to move on, I want to get past this, but how? She didn't cheat on me, but it almost feels like she did, I can't help it. What can I do? Anyone else experience something like this? How did you deal with it?

2026-03-15 19:50:54

Luca Moretti

Family

MIL came over to 'help' on Mother's Day and made me clean my entire house for her

So yesterday was Mother’s Day here in Sweden, and it was my first ever mother’s Mother’s Day. My daughter just turned one week this Saturday and unfortunately my husband worked this Sunday, so his mother texted me telling me she would love to come over and help me to get the house in order and cook some food. I told her that she didn’t have to but she insisted and I told her that I was so grateful. So she came around 7 in the morning and immediately talked about how messy it was, and that we would have to do something about it. I said that I know and I was again so thankful that she came. She said that it was the least she could do and asked to hold the baby. I handed her over and thought she just wanted to be with her before she got going. But immediately she told me that she got it and I could go on and do what I needed in the house. I was confused and I guess she saw that because she said “To clean, that’s why I am here right?”. I did not want to say anything and just started with it. At about 12 she asked if I was done soon because she was hungry, I said that I could take the baby so that she could make herself something, to which she said that she would just wait until I thought it was an appropriate time to eat. I was done at about 15 (3 in the afternoon) and she said that I shouldn’t hesitate if I need help again and that she was glad she could help me with everything. My husband got home at about 17, and he something like “I’m glad she was such a help to you, I hope you got some rest this day” I told him that I didn’t and that I cleaned everything while his mother spent time at our sofa watching the baby. He told me that I couldn’t be serious but I assured him I was. He went out in the kitchen and called his mom. I don’t know what was said but she texted me later. She basically told me that this was the last time that she ever helped me and that I was ungrateful and sick if I thought she would clean someone else’s house. She told me that she cleaned everyday while my husband was a newborn and you didn’t hear her complain. I feel like an ass and wonder if i should’ve just lied to my husband and if i am ungrateful…

2025-10-04 20:01:55

Jonas Bergström

Advice

Woman Wonders If She Should Let Her Roommate's Boyfriend Come Over Anymore Because Her Roomie Won't Let Him Help Her

I (26F) have a roommate (26F) who I’ve known for over a decade and we are also now coworkers. She’s been here for about half a year and ever since she moved in she’s always had a boyfriend that stays over (practically lives at my house half of the days out of the week) which doesn’t bother me enough to say anything about, but at the end of the day it is another person being over at my house all the time. The issue that’s recently sparked up is that I messaged her and asked if he could help us take some things from the garage to the dump so we can clear it out since my garage is filled with both her and my stuff. In my head, he has a truck and is a guy, so he would be able to help move heavy things and usually guys love helping women with this kind of stuff so why not ask, right? She responds with “I’m not going to ask him to do that. He already does enough for me and it’s not his responsibility”. Now I’m not an unreasonable person. I understand that it isn’t technically his responsibility and I never insinuated that. I do feel like it’s a fair thing to ask of him since he stays over at my house rent free. It makes me feel a bit uncomfortable and unliked/rejected having people live in my house who don’t think I’m worth helping with things. Yes, I plan on having a talk with her about this but I just wanted to get outside perspective to help me see if im being rational about this before I have the talk. Edited for resolution: I asked a friend of an old friend if he would be able to help me move the furniture from my garage into my truck and unload to the dump. He said he’s happy to help and offered to use his truck since it’s bigger ☺️ I will be buying him lunch since he’s doing it during his lunch break. As for the roommate situation I have decided to stop expecting friendly favors and will discontinue being lenient on the amount of rent paid and will no longer tolerate late payments. Thankyou to all who helped me see where I was in the wrong and to the people who showed empathy toward me and were able to see my side of things as well.

2025-09-26 16:49:39

Luca Moretti

Advice

My Ex-Husband Left Me for His Work Wife and Now He’s Begging for My Help

My ex-husband (Kevin) and I have been divorced for a year now, we’ve been married since we were 21 but he had to ruin it. During our marriage I seen how far apart we were from each other, Kevin had a work wife. To be honest I never understood why anyone in a relationship wanted a work wife or work husband, I felt like that was disrespectful. At the time I didn’t think anything of it because she was a coworker, that’s when he would spend more time with her, brought her over for dinner. He missed our anniversary to go out for her birthday, by that time I knew something was going on but I really had no proof. I seen his text messages between Jenn, very sexual (you would’ve thought they were a couple). He wasted so many years together for this? We have kids but clearly he didn’t care, if he was happy with her then good. Now we both coparent but I mostly take care of the kids, they go to their dads but they rather stay with me. Kevin and Jenn are still together, they have a 4 month old together so Kevin stops having time with the kids. Recently Kevin has been texting me the thing him and Jenn go through, they’re having trouble in paradise. I would always ignore his messages because it has nothing to do with me, they need professional help. This happened again, Kevin told me Jenn stole his credit card and left him with the baby so he doesn’t know where she is. It’s not my relationship so he needs to figure it out, this the first time I texted back to his nonsense. I told him I don’t care what his girlfriend did to him, stop telling me your business.

2025-12-16 17:30:14

Clara Jensen

Family

My Sister Faked Being In Danger And Then Reported Me For Harassment After I Called Help

A few months ago I (27f) got several erratic texts from an number I didn’t recognise, the person didn’t give their name but knew a lot about my step sister Emily (29f), the person said that Emily was a danger to herself. It was very late at night for them, but at the time I was out of the country for work and in a different time zone. I didn’t want to wake our parents, but I was Concerned so I called my sister’s local station for a wellness check. Since a fall out, my step sister and I haven’t been so close, but I’ve always cared about her, and been kind to her despite our differences. I was shocked when I got home from my work trip to receive a call from my mother claiming that Emily had reported me for harassment. I received many nasty messages from my family (including my mother (60f) and other two sisters (early 20s)) before they finally told me what I had apparently done… Emily claims that someone had bought multiple burner phones that they used to harass her via text for a year, and that she “knows” it was me. Emily claims that she baited this person into believing she was a danger to herself to see if she could call their bluff. And that me calling for a wellness check is proof I was harassing her. I was heartbroken when I heard this, unlike Emily I earn very little and unlike my other sisters I’m not funded by our parents. They know I live paycheque to paycheque, and work long hours… they know very well I can’t afford the so called “multiple burner phones”, and don’t have the energy or time to harass my worst enemy, let alone my own family. Since this weird accusation, I’ve taken a step back from them, opting out of spending Christmas with them. To which I received grief, being told everyone was disappointed in me for not going to see them. I’ve decided to softly cut them out, I will send them nice texts occasionally, but I’m not interested in seeing them. I’ve made that very clear to them that I’m not happy with them and that I need to stay away for my wellbeing.

2025-10-19 16:38:51

Elise Dubois

Advice

AITA I helped my girlfriend cure her anorexia, she broke up with me but still wants my help, I refused to help her

I(26M) met a girl (25F) at a class in grad school 8 months ago, we were working on projet together. When I first met her she was super skinny, sad and her energy level was super low, as I got to know her more she opened up to me about her anorexia, depression, and low self esteem. I'm a gym goer, I have been consistently training since I was 19, when she listed her issues I immediately linked it to lack of physical activity, anorexia can have many reasons but in some cases it's main reason is lack of activity, so I offered to take her to the gym and work with her step by step and link her with a dietitian who will give her a meal plan, she agreed to give it a try. The beginning was difficult but she was constantly making progress, she was able to eat more, her mode was better, and she was gaining confidence. During that time our friendship progressed into a relationship and we started dating. Fast forward to the present, she went from 40 kg to 50 kg, she is in a great mode, gets a lot of compliments and attention. I was genuinely happy for her and I always told her how proud I'm of the progress she made, everything was great until last week. She sat me down and told me she wanted to break up and wanted us to be "friends", I didn't believe it at first because it came out of nowhere, I asked why and she said she just wanted to be single, I don't know if that is the real reason but If that is what she wants so be it. I told that the breakup hurt my feelings and I will no longer work with her at gym ( she is still a beginner at the gym and doesn't really know what she is doing), she got upset and called me cruel and heartless, told me that she is afraid of relapsing into anorexia and depression and wanted me to push and motivate and teach her, I told her that I'm a human too and I have to put myself first, the breakup hurt me and I can't ignore my emotions and I don't want to work with her anymore.

2025-11-27 11:45:16

Luca Moretti

Advice

AITA for telling my ex's new husband he's a selfish fool for marrying a lazy part time mom and thinking he could use my kids to help with his own?

I (34m) have primary custody of my two children (11 and 13). Their mom and I were high school sweethearts who had kids too young and while I stepped up, she didn't. With our first she made some attempts, kinda, but once she got pregnant for the second time she used pregnancy as an excuse to do nothing. She didn't have a high risk pregnancy, wasn't in pain and never expressed actual concerns for her or the baby's health and safety. But she'd say pregnant women shouldn't be standing for too long, shouldn't be near heat (to cook), shouldn't be bending over to tidy up, shouldn't be driving or pushing heavy shopping carts around, shouldn't be pushing dust around, etc. My ex's parents watched our oldest while I worked back then and she'd text me while at work to bring her snacks or magazines, etc. And she expected me to tell work to fuck off and get her that stuff there and then. I tried to stick it out and at the time I expressed concerns for maybe a pregnancy depression or some form of early PPD but scoffed at that and no medical provider saw concerns about it. When our second child was born she continued like she was still pregnant. Even 2 and 3 months post partum she said she shouldn't be holding things, lifting things, driving, etc. I finally had enough and we broke up when our youngest was 4.5 months old after I did all I could to try and find an excuse. I just had to accept she was lazy and didn't care enough to do anything. She wasn't working either so I was doing it all and taking care of her. I filed for custody of our kids and won very quickly because she showed up in court unprepared and only fought against it half heartedly without retaining a lawyer for the custody case. She couldn't answer a single question about either of our children. Because she did request 50-50 they did a fitness check on her and she failed. She didn't fail enough to get no parenting time. But she was deemed unfit for 50-50 custody and so she gets every other weekend. And yes, that every other weekend is something the kids and I hate. But I have not been able to convince her to give up her weekends or convince a court to not force it. So she sees our kids that much and they basically take care of themselves over there. Which is documented and I have shown proof to the courts but it was not enough for removing her visitation rights. My kids need to be 16 before their voice holds any weight in the judge's decision. Any younger and the judge will not listen to what the kids want. Anyway, my ex has been remarried for I'm not sure how long. But within the last year. Her husband has two (or maybe three because there could be twins in there) very young children (younger than 4) and he expected my kids to be around more and to help. I'm sure he expected more from my ex as well. But the kids said from the time they met him, which is when he moved in, he's been asking for them to babysit and bond and help with childcare stuff. They refused to help and they ignore him and ignore the very young children. But he even started asking for their help when they're with me. When my kids showed me messages he sent I called him from my phone and I told him to leave my kids alone. He told me the kids have younger siblings and I stopped him and said neither my ex or myself had more kids so they don't have younger siblings. They have each other. He told me he married their mom which makes his kids their siblings. He said older kids are meant to help with younger ones and he isn't supposed to be doing all of this alone. This is when I told him that he was a selfish fool and pointed out he married my ex, a lazy part time parent who doesn't even deserve the title of parent because of how little she does, and spectacularly selfish for thinking my children existed to help him raise his kids. I said you do not put that responsibility on kids. On anyone's kids. But especially someone else's because you do not have the right to have pre-conceived ideas of what someone else's children owe you and yours. He didn't like that I insulted him and interfered in his marriage. I told him he interfered in MY children and as their dad and their sole parenting parent I have every right to put my foot down about what he expects out of my kids. Since then he has tried to call me multiple times and he texted me repeatedly. And I don't block him because I would much rather he contact me than my kids.

2025-11-27 12:18:43

Elise Dubois