Category - AITA

Fresh updates and insights

AITA for not giving in to my neighbors' demands

Throwaway for reasons. Last year I purchased some property almost sight-unseen at auction. It is 14 acres total and the highlight for me was a farmhouse that hadn't been cared for in quite some time. After getting the property and finalizing all payment I contracted with a surveyor to give me the exact details and to my surprise, there was also a barn, patio, and firepit area that was my property. One weekend a few months ago I walked over to that part of the property and saw that the barn was in very updated shape with electric, water, etc, all having been run up there. In fact, that end of the property was more kept up than the house. Think of it as two ends of a large "L" shape. While I was in the barn a sheriff's car pulled right up, the deputy confronted me. I explained this was my property, etc. A minute later another car pulled up, out came "Ken" and "Barbie". They had called 911 stating there was someone trespassing on their property. I explained the situation to all three of them, the deputy seemed keenly interested, Ken and Barbie kept interrupting me explaining this was their barn, their patio, their everything. I had the surveyors papers with me in a folder. He advised Ken and Barbie that I probably wasn't trespassing and that there'd probably need to be real estate lawyers involved. Two more surveys and two opinions from competing lawyers agreed that this part of the property was indeed mine. Ken and Barbie bought the adjacent property 4 years prior and were under the impression that the disputed area was part of their property. They renovated and turned it into an event center, holding wedding receptions, birthday parties, etc in the barn. Everything they used as part of that business is on my property, multiple surveys have confirmed that. I've been advised that adverse possession does not apply as they've not used it anywhere near long enough to count in my state, and they cannot produce any documentation that indicates they were given any permission from the prior owner in any fashion to use this. I do not want to own or be responsible for an event venue center. I offered to sell them their end of the "L" at what I (and my real estate agent) considered reasonable market value. They said they couldn't possibly afford it. I offered to lease them the property in exchange for a percent of gross revenue + them holding all insurance and liability. They said they couldn't afford to run the business that way. Their last offer was that I would receive a few hundred dollars a month, which would barely cover insurance alone, to say nothing of upkeep, and I said no. Ken and Barbie explained they already had multiple bookings for the spring and summer and needed the property or else they would have to return deposits. I remain steadfast that I want them to hold the insurance and pay me a lease or else it'll just sit there. AITA?

2025-09-17 10:02:09

Elise Dubois

Family

AITA for asking my stbx husband why I’d take him back when the nanny does more for the family than she does.

My husband and I are separated, getting a divorce. We have a 3 year old and a 8 year old. He owns his own business and told me he’d get home at 5:30-6 every night. I get home at 6-6:30 so I never thought anything about him always getting home before me. I had our 3 year old in extended care at daycare and 8 year old in her school’s after school program because I believed he was working. Halfway through the school year last year I hired a nanny instead of the extended care programs after our oldest had problems with her program. I got a call from the nanny about 2 weeks in, saying my stbx husband locked them out and was telling her to take them to the park but the kids were hungry and she didn’t have car seats (his house is walking distance from school and daycare so she didn’t need car seats). I called him and he said he got home early and wanted some space from the kids and didn’t want a random 18 year old in the house. I had to leave work early to let the kids in. While I was talking to the nanny, she told me he was always home when she got home with the kids and that he was always difficult (demanding that she and the kids stay in one of the kids rooms, ignoring the kids if they tried to talk to him, getting mad at her for leaving the room for a snack). That was the straw that broke the camels back for me. I filed for divorce by the end of the next week and the kids and I moved out by the end of the next month. I ended up letting go of that nanny and now we have Amina, 24. Amina is a middle eastern refugee with 3 kids of her own, 2, 4 and 7. Hiring Amina is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I get to come home every day to a clean house, homework done, and some of the best Arabic food I’ve ever had. I have no idea how she manages to do everything but having her around means I get to enjoy my time with my kids, instead of trying to make dinner, clean up, and get my 8 year old to do her homework. She does the grocery shopping, keeps track of school events, and even handles things like clothes shopping for the kids and school supply shopping. My STBX never did any of that. I once left him with the kids for a week while I went on a work trip. They lived on McDonald’s and pizza, which wreaked havoc on my 8 year old’s stomach. The house was in the worst shape I’d ever seen it. Our 2 year old (at the time) ran out of clean clothes and he bought her new clothes instead of washing her dirty clothes. My stbx has been asking about getting back together. He says us being together is better for the kids. I told him he’s never thought about what’s good for the kids. Even when he takes them for the weekend, all they do is go to grandmas house. I asked why I should go back to him when Amina does more for us than he ever did. He argued that he works to provide for us but thought it was different from me also working (apparently close to double the hours he worked and for similar money). Now his family is accusing me of being a bad mom and saying if I cared about the kids I’d want them to have 2 parents. AITA?

2025-09-27 19:16:04

Clara Jensen

Family

AITA for telling my mom that I don’t give a f*ck about my autistic brother?

My (16F) parents didn’t have much time for me after my brother (9M) was born and it got even worse after he was diagnosed with autism when he was 3. My dad is rarely home and my mom is always busy with my brother so neither of them have time for me. I’ve known my best friend “Rachel” since we were in kindergarten. Her mom is the nicest person I’ve ever met. Rachel and I played soccer but my mom was rarely able to take me to practices and games so Rachel’s mom would always take me. I used to be in the school choir and my parents went to like one performance during the six years I did it. Rachel’s mom was at every performance for me even though Rachel wasn’t in choir. Those are just a few examples, but Rachel’s mom has always been there for me when my parents weren’t available. My mom never really cares what I’m doing unless she needs me to watch my brother so I spend a lot of time at Rachel’s house. Once I spent a whole weekend there and my mom didn’t even call to ask where I am. Rachel’s family go on a lot of vacations and they often take me. They’re going to ....⬇️

2025-08-17 18:33:20

Jonas Bergström

Relationships

AITA for not being intimate with my husband after he locked me outside naked until I would have sex with him?

I gave birth 3 months ago. It was difficult and I hadn't been physically or emotionally ready for sex for a while. After the birth, I did not have sex with my husband until two months after. It was midday on the weekend and he tried to initiate with me, and I said no, and he took off my clothes, and I told him I wasn't ready yet. He dragged me to the back of the house and pushed me into the backyard and told me that he's had enough and he's tired of me turning him down and he won't let me back in until I want to have sex with him. I was completely naked in the backyard (it's fenced). I tried getting back in through the door and he wouldn't let me in and kept asking me if I wanted to be intimate and he wouldn't let me in. I broke down and started crying and I stayed out there for a while before I banged on the house and told him we can. He let me back in and I had sex with him but I was just lying there kind of crying. He said that me being naked outside wasn't that different from when I would be skinny dipping in the backyard pool or sunbathing outside and told me see? that wasn't so bad. I didn't talk to him much for the rest of the day. He asked me again that night and he kept asking me the next few days and I told him no every time. He apologized after and told me he was just at his breaking point and he probably shouldn't have done that but that he has needs and told me that we should start getting intimate again now. I haven't told anyone about this. I haven't been interested in being intimate with him in the last month and I don't know when I will again. He's tried to have sex with me, for example sometimes when I get out of the shower, but I haven't wanted to. He's been telling me he's been trying hard to keep up with his part, and he feels that as married partners we should be intimate with each other. I've seen him watching porn recently but I haven't said anything. I feel confused and ashamed. I haven't had the urge. AITA for not feeling like being intimate with my husband for so long?

2025-10-15 12:43:55

Elise Dubois

Family

AITA for wearing the same color as the bride as a wedding harpist and not changing?

So I (f18) was asked to play the harp at a friend of my fathers wedding. Normally, I would ask for payment beforehand, but since it was a family friend, they asked if they could just pay me at the reception and I told them yes. The dates worked out for me, and it was set in a church about 1 hour from my house. I showed the dress I planned to wear to the bride when we went over the music she wanted and at the rehearsal, but only on a hanger. It looks like it would be ugly on a hanger, as it’s just navy blue with long sleeves and floor length, but it’s surprisingly pretty. I got to the venue about 4 hours early, so my harp would have time to acclimate to the room. When I got there, the brides mother came to give me my corsage, and when she saw me, she demanded I change my dress. I laughed because I’ve known her for years, and then realized she wasn’t joking. I asked what was wrong with it and she said that the bride went with a non traditional dress that was also navy blue. I panicked a little, because this is her wedding and I felt really bad, but she and her groom had approved it twice. I told the mother, and she asked if I had any other color I could change into. I don’t bring extra dresses unless my dress somehow doesn’t get approved beforehand, so I didn’t. She then told me to go to the bridal shop 20 minutes away, and buy a new dress. I refused, because those dresses would cost about what I was getting paid for this wedding, and I told her I couldn’t afford it. I felt bad, but she begrudgingly walked away. The actual wedding went smoothly, and after everyone else had left the church and congratulated the bride, I stopped to talk to her. I explained what the mother in law said, and she said that it was fine and that they weren’t thinking when they approved my dress. At the reception, when I talked for he mother in law about payment, she refused to pay me. I didn’t want to cause a scene, but the bride came over and heard us talking. This time, she was also upset with me and also refused to pay me. I didn’t know what to do. As my parents were busy and couldn’t attend this wedding, I didn’t have anyone there to back me up. A lot of people assume harpists come from a lot of money because of how expensive harps are, but I’ve been renting a harp since 4th grade, and when my teacher passed, we bought it for an amazing deal. I also charge a lot less than most musicians would, but I have a college payment due in a few days and I can’t afford it. I got my parents involved when I got home, and my dad talked to his friend (the father of the groom) who was there when they approved the dress, and he got the payment to me. I still feel really bad, but I don’t think there was anything I could have done. Should I have just sucked it up and bought a new dress? AITA?

2025-09-15 13:12:54

Anya Petrova

Family

AITAH for losing my shit and screaming at my gf to get out of my house after what her stepbrother did?

Gf was over at my place two days ago. We're both 20. She has a stepbrother who's 23, before this I'd only met him a few times and he seemed like a regular dude. She asked if it was okay for him to come over too for a couple of hours, I said why not. He said he would get booze and pizza, and my parents were away visiting relatives for the weekend so I figured we could shoot the shit. I have a little sister who's 15. They came over, and she stayed up in her room the entire time. We were all a bit tipsy and my gf's stepbrother asked if he could use the washroom. I pointed him to the one down the hall. My gf and I were preoccupied and didn't even realise how much time he was taking until we heard raised voices upstairs. We immediately went up to check what was going on and found my sister crying. Dude had gone up instead of using the washroom. My sister's door had been ajar so he apparently walked in (all details I managed to wrangle from my crying sister btw). She was taken by shock and was trying to stay calm but he wasn't leaving, he was trying to chat her up. She told him to gtfo and he closed the door behind him instead, which is why she started freaking out. She tried to get past him to open the door and he grabbed her but she opened it anyway, and I'd reached the landing by then so he backed off. Obviously I was super fucking pissed. There was a lot of screaming going on, lots of accusations. We were all drunk except for my sister. After getting the story from her, gf's stepbrother was stuttering and deflecting. I'm pretty sure i threatened violence at some point. My gf was trying to be the "mediator", she said i had to calm down and couldn't fly off the handle based off word of mouth. But i was there, I saw my sister crying in panic, I know what she's like and I know she wouldn't lie about something like this, why would she? I told her stepbrother to get out of my house. My gf kept saying we could sort this out and have a proper conversation but I didn't see what conversation was there to be had. Eventually she said what if my sister was lying. In front of my sister's face. I asked her what on earth would make her think that, and she said she's a kid and could be making it up for attention. Like the title said, I lost my shit. I told her to get the fuck out and afterwards she kept calling me but I ignored everything. The dust has settled a bit. I went over everything again with my little sister, she promised me it had happened the way she was telling me, she told me she was scared he was going to SA her. My gf texted me this morning saying I shouldn't have raised my voice like that and I scared her. I thought of apologising then but she still hadn't said a word about apologising to my sister or addressing the issue with her stepbrother. I only replied that we had to talk, and she said there's nothing to talk about, there's no hard "proof" in her words. Idk if I'm the asshole for the way i handled this, maybe if cooler heads prevailed this silent treatment wouldn't have happened and we could have discussed everything. Idk what to do from now on either. I love that girl, I don't want us to be over so i want some advice on where to go from here too.

2025-10-11 20:48:44

Clara Jensen

AITA

AITA for telling my dad cheating is what got us here not my mom?

My parents divorced when I was 7 after my mom found out dad had been cheating on her for five years with someone she considered to be her friend. The reveal of the affair came during my birthday party, which we celebrated late because dad made up some story about an old friend dying and going to the funeral when he was actually with her for an ultrasound after learning she was pregnant. My mom never "got over" what they did to her. I think what made it worse is two people betrayed her instead of one, because if our friends are willing to hurt us like this then we're screwed. My dad married his affair partner. They have six children together now. My mom has stayed away from them as much as humanly possible. She told me a long time ago that she loved me, wanted me to be happy and loved and not to be distant from them for her, but that she would never be able to play happy families with my dad and his wife and their kids because some hurts are too deep and painful to move on from. When stay in place was ordered things between my mom and dad deteriorated after my dad asked if mom would take his other six kids into her home, so "the siblings could see each other" since both he and his wife were frontline workers and had planned to send them somewhere to limit their exposure. Mom said hell no. She was pissed as hell at dad for asking while dad was pissed as hell that she didn't force me to go to his in-law's to spend time with my siblings while we weren't legally allowed to meet up with others. Things are the same now. Only my mom suffered less financially through the pandemic. After a while my dad and his wife left their jobs when it got too much and their financial stability took a huge hit. My dad can't afford to throw a graduation party for me, which is fine. But he and his family are not welcome to the one my mom is hosting. He was bitching about them missing out on celebrating with me because of my mom. I told him it was because of his affair and not my mom. That he was the one who betrayed her over and over again, disrespected her and then expected her to act like none of that happened so he could act like the good guy. He told me it had been a decade and my mom and I should be over it, and I should not have taken sides. I told him he should have kept the affair from me then instead of letting it come out for me to hear. AITA? ETA but another element of this story is that the affair first started after my mom almost died losing my sibling. The pregnancy went badly wrong and almost took her and did take her chance to have more children. All the while her husband and friend were getting together behind her back.

2025-09-15 12:41:19

Elise Dubois

Relationships

AITA for breaking up with my bf after he said my pain during sex was hot to him?

I usually just like vanilla sex, but my boyfriend started wanting more. He started wanting to be rough with me and recently he’s been doing things like pulling my hair, slapping my ass, and putting his hands on my neck so I couldn’t breath and I would start to pass out. We were having sex and he turned me around to be face down and he was pulling my hair and started slapping me while going fast into me. It was hurting and I told him this hurts hey can we not do it like this now and he didn’t say anything for a minute and then he started going faster and told me to tell him it hurts and i told him it hurts and he said this feels so good. I grabbed his hand off of my hair and I tried turning around but he just pushed my body down into the mattress and I tried telling him its hurting but he kept going and said he was going to finish and went for another minute and then he finished in me. He told me that was so hot and I told him it was painful and I don’t want to do it like that again and he told me that I didn’t even try to make him stop or push him off or anything so he thought I liked it and it was some of the best sex he’s ever had. I went to the shower and I started crying and it was hurting after still. I came out upset at him and he was just walking away from me and I was feeling insane and I was upset. He told me I was just inexperienced and that I needed to get used to different sex play with him. I told him I wasn’t interested in that anymore and I ended up breaking up with him and he told me I was throwing away our relationship because he wanted to try something new and I left.

2025-10-15 12:42:41

Elise Dubois

Family

AITA for wearing a sage green dress for a wedding?

POSTED A SMALL UPDATE ON MY PAGE ABOUT THE GROOM AND WHAY POSSIBLY TRIGGERED THE BRIDE EDIT: I posted the messages and a similar dress on my profile :) EDIT 2: IT WAS 32°C IN AN OPEN AREA! Everyone was wearing short sleeve, strapless or/and spaghetti strap EDIT 3 (update): Showed my parents the messages and now they're pressing charges LAST EDIT: Please DO NOT send me messages asking for my pics. I am not comfortable with it, so stop. I recently attended a wedding and now the bride has been accusing me of destroying her big day. I am 17yrs old, and the wedding it's from my dad's friend daughter. One of her demands was for girls to be modest, simple colour, and makeup. The request was okay to me because it was her event. The big day came and I wore a satin sage dress, which is beautiful, but still modest, and for the makeup it was just some shimmery eyeshadow with some transparent gloss. During the wedding, the bride's mom suddenly asked to talk to me alone which was weird, since she should've been talking to my dad instead. She bought me to the bride's dressing room and it was awkward. The bride started to berate me for wearing the dress saying I'm too flashy, I'm stealing her spotlight and gave me the alternative to leave the wedding or wear a black dress who's double my size, and remove my makeup. I refused, because the outfit the bride wanted me to wear would've been too bothersome for me to be pulling the dress all the time plus my parents would be asking about my original dress. The bride started crying, and I told my parents everything she demanded, than they got angry at her. Because of it, they said they're not going to give any wedding money to her, which lead to a fight between my dad and his friend. Today the bride sent me hateful messages saying I ruined her wedding. AITA?

2025-10-01 08:42:42

Clara Jensen

AITA

AITA for telling my DIL her feelings are not my problem and for fuck sakes you don’t need to be invited to everything

I will keep this as short as possible.The family has a code word that means to met up at my home because there is bad news. So emergency family meeting. This is something that is extremely rare and it means to drop what you are doing and get over as soon as possible. It is only an invite for the kids, no in-laws are invited. This was discussed and agreed upon by everyone. This was due to everyone being most comfortable with sharing bad news with their siblings and not having to be polite with the in laws. For example my daughter used the code word and it was an emergency family meeting. She was getting a divorce and needed help. After everyone fills in their spouses but not all the gritty details. This happened today, an emergency meeting was called by my husband. In short he needs surgery, I won’t go into more than that. Everyone left and I got a call from my DIL upset that she wasn’t invited to the meeting. I asked if she knew what theses were and she told me my son explained it. She reiterated that she should still be invited and I am excluding her. That she is upset and expects and invite next time I told her that her feelings arent my problem, and for fuck sales you don’t need to be invited to everything. She called me a jerk. My son told me he will deal with it but I could have been nicer

2025-09-15 13:55:49

Jonas Bergström

AITA

AITA for kicking my SIL out for eating my order?

My husband's sister moved in with us after a major argument about the baby's name (they're expecting and she's 7 months in!). she's known be picky and refuses to eat what what we normally cook. We only cook her favorite food, which I can't eat (allergies yay!!) Everyday at dinner I have to figure out what to eat since she only eats food that I'm allergic to. Last night, My husband agreed that he'd cook for her and cook for us together seperately. I got home after a long day at work and found out that SIL convinced my husband to only cook the meal she wanted and cancel on the meal we planned to have. I saw them eating together in the kitchen. My husband apologitically said his sister convinced him to eat with her and not cook the meal I wanted us both to have. I said it was FINE then went to order some food from the restaurant. I went to take a shower and did some work on my laptop then came downstairs to find my order placed on the kitchen counter. It was open and someone ate the majority of it. I turned around and there was SIL standing saying she woke up hungry and couldn't "resist" the smell that was coming out of the box. I lost it and yelled at her asking wtf she did that but she said that she did save me some which isn't true because there was only some rice and dressings. We started arguing and I told her I couldn't take this anymore and told her to pack her shit and leave first thing in the morning. She began crying and my husband got involved and defended her up and down repeatedly saying she's pregnant and is eating for 2 basically. He suggested I go make myself something quick from the fridge and let it go but I refused and a bigger argument ensued. AITA for kicking her out over this?

2025-10-06 18:40:57

Jonas Bergström

Family

AITA for not going to my sister in laws wedding due to her dress code

I 25f am having a conflict with my husbands sister 36f. She is getting married in 2 weeks and her dress code is incredibly complicated to adhere to for me. It is black tie, long sleeves and floor length gowns. The conflict happened because I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and overheat very quickly, and the wedding is entirely outside, in the middle of the day, in the southern USA where it is incredibly hot, I cannot be in a long sleeve floor length gown in the heat for 8 hours. I have sent her a few dresses to try to compromise which I will link in the comments for further information but she is completely adamant about exactly what she wants. I told her yesterday that I cannot attend her wedding if she is not going to budge even slightly on the dress code. I told her she has the right to have her wedding exactly how she wants it, for it to be her perfect day but I have the right to look out for my own health. She freaked out at me and told me I was being incredibly selfish and that “for once it isn’t about me and my fucking baby” which she only said because she’s jealous I’m having the first grandchild and she felt like she should have had a baby before me and my husband. Since then my husbands side of the family has told me I’m being selfish and to just compromise one day to keep the peace. I don’t think I should need to compromise my health for her wedding. Am I the asshole and being unreasonable? Edit: here are a few examples of the dresses I offered to wear [dress #1](https://www.jjshouse.com/a-line-scoop-floor-length-lace-evening-dress-017275293-g275293?currency=USD&utm_term=275293&utm_size=06&country=US&ggntk=x&ggkey=&ggtgt=17&ggplm=&gbraid=0AAAAADmGZzSJ3BiN7qDtwp6kOh3FweVuF&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgNanBhDUARIsAAeIcAsI6j2hOcNRILk9Ul_iq2k82b5DNO0OiNed9pBO3T2ls6We9IgNrBAaAhoXEALw_wcB#/) [dress #2](https://www.asos.com/us/beauut/beauut-maternity-bridesmaid-tulle-maxi-dress-with-flutter-sleeves-in-mist/prd/204382802?affid=28179&_cclid=Google_Cj0KCQjwgNanBhDUARIsAAeIcAsR2Js0As10IQq1SUy3pC79ckoyJpD7BXmK8pm_zeDS_h3LaeM6U0AaAsMfEALw_wcB&channelref=product+search&mk=abc&ppcadref=11302983040{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f}7C111197600375{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f}7Cpla-294682000766&cpn=11302983040&gbraid=0AAAAADqFjOBnBXpad-2aSoJSNm28mKwOV&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgNanBhDUARIsAAeIcAsR2Js0As10IQq1SUy3pC79ckoyJpD7BXmK8pm_zeDS_h3LaeM6U0AaAsMfEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds) [dress #3](https://www.asos.com/us/asos-design/asos-design-maternity-embellished-tiered-midi-dress-with-wild-bloom-floral-embrodiery-in-navy/prd/203836828?affid=28179&_cclid=Google_Cj0KCQjwgNanBhDUARIsAAeIcAu0Ze5y5kyOgpYTn9jgbUd0o93wvQ5PVocbSyyGz9q7raVUC4JYKZEaAptHEALw_wcB&channelref=product+search&mk=abc&ppcadref=11302983040{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f}7C111197600375{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f}7Cpla-294682000766&cpn=11302983040&gbraid=0AAAAADqFjOBnBXpad-2aSoJSNm28mKwOV&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgNanBhDUARIsAAeIcAu0Ze5y5kyOgpYTn9jgbUd0o93wvQ5PVocbSyyGz9q7raVUC4JYKZEaAptHEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds) Edit #2: hello everyone from R/amitheangel I cannot respond to comments on your cross post but you are taking my comments out of context. Also I do not know who or from what subreddit are messaging me but please keep your fucking disgusting anti natalism out of my messages.

2025-09-15 13:46:31

Luca Moretti

Relationships

AITA for not punishing my daughter the way my boyfriend would have liked?

Today my boyfriend and 4yo daughter went to get a haircut together. My boyfriend has beautiful curls that I adore and he lets it grow pretty long. It never gets length it gets more and more curly. This time, he let it grow out way more than he normally has and became a bit self conscious about it, so he wanted to get it cut. My daughter has been wanting to get hers cut, so we decided it would be a good idea to get them done together. Bf went first and he decided to get it cut really short. We weren't able to see his forehead before and now we can, just to kind of give you a visual idea. When my daughter saw it she giggled and said "You look silly!" We were in the waiting area with two older men who were reading the newspaper when she said this and I told her it wasn't polite or nice to laugh at people for getting a haircut or looking different. I told her she wouldn't like it if she were laughed at and she said, "oh yeah, oopsie," then turned to him and said, "I'm sorry (bf's name) I just think you look silly with no curly curls. I'm sorry for laughing." I thought it was fine until he got up a few minutes later and said "way too fucking rude, I'm going outside." I asked him what? but he just went outside, and I looked over at the two men and one of them just shrugged and went back to his paper while the other looked like he didn't move at all. He then comes back and says "outside. now." where he told me he wanted me to cancel her haircut, take her home and punish her by taking her Nintendo 2DS away for the rest of the day and making her go to sleep early. I told him no, because she already apologized and I didn't want to miss her haircut since we were already waiting forever. He ended up leaving us when I went back inside. I wasn't able to find a ride home and he wouldn't answer my calls. We live about a 20 minute walk away (5 minute car ride) so we had to walk home through melting ice and snow while climbing snowbanks to avoid being on the highway due to the sidewalks being blocked by snow and ice. I'm 4 months pregnant and I have been having bad lower body/lady parts pressure that escalates into pain when I'm up and about too much, so the climbing really hurt. He knows this because he has taken me to my doctor about it. He had my apartment keys so we weren't able to get inside right away and when we did get inside the building, I found my apartment unlocked with all of his stuff (tv, console, clothes) gone and my keys hanging on the wall. Our socks and shoes were soaked and I kind of hobbled to my bedroom and laid down with my heating pad. He eventually answered me and said it was my punishment for not punishing my daughter. Am I the asshole? Tldr: daughter laughed at boyfriend's haircut and he got offended. Wanted me to give her what I think of as an over-punishment and left us to walk home when I didn't agree.

2025-09-12 12:58:10

Clara Jensen

Family

AITA for kicking my maid of honor out of my wedding with 5 days notice?

Update is now on my profile! I’m (23F) getting married in a couple days. Most of this is in the last two weeks. My MOH (26F), M, was in charge of planning my bachelorette party, which I wanted to be a surprise. We live in a city, but none of us live downtown, so I was hoping for a hotel room downtown and having a fun night out with friends, maybe a brunch. Most of the bridal party live locally, but two girls flew in for it. When M picked me up 2 weeks ago on Friday , I was excited to see where we were going and what we were doing. We ended up going to M’s 1 bedroom townhome and spent the whole weekend there. There are 8 of us, so it was cramped and we kept running into issues with only 1 bathroom. On Friday night we had games and ordered pizza, Saturday we had a mimosa bar, went shopping, ordered food, and watched a movie, before parting ways on Sunday. It wasn’t the bachelorette party of my dreams, or a particularly fun weekend, but it was ok, and I appreciated it. Last weekend, my fiancé (32m), J, had just returned from a work trip. I hadn’t caught him up to speed on the party, because there wasn’t much to report. But when he returned, we were chatting and I told him about the party. He looked confused but said nothing else that evening. The next day, I got a message from M asking to meet up to talk about “something.” M revealed that J had given her a significant amount of money over a year ago, with the intention that it was used to pay for a bachelorette party. It would have been enough to pay for the entire bridal party to do a week long vacation out of town, including airfare, hotel, food, drinks, and fun. I wasn’t expecting this type of event; a weekend downtown would have been wonderful, and even though the party at her home wasn’t what I hoped for, I was fine with it because I got to be with all of my friends. She, instead, used the money to pay off credit card debt and hoped that no one would notice. I told her I needed some time to process and went home. After talking with J about it, I decided, that the best action would be to remove her from the wedding. I came to this decision because I don’t feel I can trust her and don’t want her to be standing next to me at my wedding. I slept on it overnight and sent her a text saying this on Monday. Since then, I have been getting texts from her mom and boyfriend telling me how awful I am for doing this since I didn’t need a big party and M was able to financially benefit . My mom is also against removing her from the wedding, as she’s like a sister to our family and it would be tragic for me to get married without M there. The rest of the bridal party is split, with half saying I shouldn’t have kicked her out and the other half agreeing with me. M has called me crying because she already has her dress (J and I paid for all dresses) and she can’t wear it anywhere else. At this point, I want the wedding to be over with so I can be on my honeymoon and not have to deal with these people. So, was my action too extreme? AITA?

2025-10-07 11:45:40

Luca Moretti

Family

AITA for telling my sister's fiance about her past

**Edit: Okay, I am the asshole. I accept that.** **However, I have seen no convincing arguments about why Josh doesn't deserve to know before getting married, and everyone here has just disregarded his feelings out of hatred for my actions (fair enough).** **Given that, I don't regret my actions, and will do it again if she doesn't tell her future partners before getting married. I am an asshole, but a necessary asshole.** ----------------------------- My sister (30) is engaged to a guy (33), let's call him Josh. Josh is a very well established guy, very nice to my sister and our family, does a lot for us. Josh and my sister announced their engagement a couple of months ago at a family dinner. Obviously everyone celebrates at the news and has a great night.... Except for me. I took my sister aside later in the night and asked her if she had told him about her "past". My sister went through an extremely "sex positive" phase in college and slept with easily over 100 guys (we're twins btw, so always been close). She said it didn't matter, it was the past, etc. Fair enough, it shouldn't matter, but I think Josh deserves to know this before he marries my sister. Not every man is comfortable with marrying someone with such an extensive list of past sexual partners. So anyway I tell her if she doesn't tell him, I will. I give her a month. She doesn't tell him. Meanwhile they're going full steam ahead planning the wedding. I give her one last chance, a few more weeks to come clean, she doesn't. So I told Josh all I knew about her sexual past. He thanks me, but doesn't take the news well. Apparantly my sister has been presenting herself as a sexually-shy kind of girl. (**edit: she lied and said he was her third sexual partner**). Completely blindsided him. He's put the wedding on hold and hasn't spoken to my sister for several days. Says he needs time alone to think. As you can imagine, everyone in my family is blaming me for ruining my sister's wedding (I guess I kind of did). Josh's family is kind of neutral, though they're obviously offering Josh emotional support and thanking me for my honesty. AITA?

2025-09-22 11:18:14

Clara Jensen

Family

AITA for calling out step-family’s dirty laundry at Thanksgiving after they criticized me for being unmarried?

I’m still getting shit for this from my family so it’s possible I may be a bit of the AH here. I’m 29F, the players are my mom, step-dad, and four step-siblings (35M, 37M, 40F, 42M) and their families. I’m the black sheep in that I’m the only one not married with kids, but that’s by my preference. I love living alone, I don’t want kids, and having a partner just isn’t that important to me. My family has been asking me when I’m going to get a boyfriend and settle down since I was 19 and the answer has always been “ew, never”. I was going to skip Thanksgiving, but my mom insisted that she wanted everyone home this year if possible so I went. It was the usual drill, but youngest step-brother and his wife are having another kid so that was the big announcement. This was fine until around the end of dinner one of the SSILs asks if I’m not anxious to have kids since I’m almost 30 and time is running out. I laughed and said “Nah, I’m good.” That led to one of the step-brothers saying that every family needs an old maiden aunt and some other comments I didn’t appreciate. I said let’s move on, but my mom said “We’re just worried about you.” This is where I’m possibly the AH. I know all the family dirt so I said, “Well, I’m the only person at this table that’s not an alcoholic, a cheater, or constantly broke af because I have more kids than I can afford so I’m not the one to worry about.” And that’s how I brought Thanksgiving to a dead halt and no one said a thing for the rest of dinner, but my texts are radioactive still. I feel like it was probably riding the line and my mom says this has caused a lot of problems among the siblings, but also they kinda started it.

2025-09-24 13:29:53

Luca Moretti

AITA

AITAH for not delivering the food I made to an event I got uninvited to?

Two weeks ago I got invited to a baby shower from a friend who I haven’t seen in years. She moved to another state but had apparently moved back and now is having her baby shower here. I was so excited since I haven’t seen her in so long. She started a gc with all the mutuals she invited. She did disclose that this was gonna be a quick and small one since she had just found out she was pregnant when she was 35 weeks with an induction scheduled on her 37th week. We all started volunteering to be responsible for different things for the baby shower. I said I’ll cook Filipino food and help pay for some of the decor. I sent money to the friend who was in charge of decorating. I asked mom-to-be how many people are invited besides the ladies in the gc. She told me 15. There’s 10 of us in gc including me so I thought I’ll cook for 50 people to be on the safe side just in case she invited a few more. I started shopping for ingredients for the lumpia, pancit, chicken adobo and rice and a grazing table. I started prepping and coordinating with the decor lady. We figured where we wanted the food and grazing table and told the MTB. She approved. Now the day before her baby shower, I spent the WHOLE day cooking. I took off the day(I only work part time since I’m the primary caretaker for my baby while my man works). Mind you, I had to arrange for my MIL to watch my baby while I did all the cooking and for me to go to the baby shower. I didn’t want to bring my baby since I would be busy with the catering. It was by luck she was off those days. Then the night before the baby shower, she dm’ed me on ig that she had to ‘make some hard decisions’ and had to uninvite me but still ‘want’ me to drop off the food. I told her I understand and respect her decision but I will NOT be dropping off the food. She asked me why and I told her it wouldn’t make any sense for me to drive 75 minutes to drop off food to an event I’m no longer invited to. That the ONLY reason I volunteered to do what I said was because I was invited. She asked me how she was gonna find someone to cater on such a short notice. That it was f’ed up and hateful. A few friends sided with her while most sided with me. I want to know from a stranger’s perspective if I’m the a-hole? EDIT : 1 - I don’t know the full story about her pregnancy. She told me that she went to an OB checkup because her period was unusually heavy and long. They found out she was 35 weeks pregnant and was having complications which is why they scheduled an induction. 2 - I’ve already sent the ss of the dms to the 10 mutuals. THREE out of the 10 sided with her which prompted me to post this because maybe I’m missing something. I was being told that I should’ve been ‘an actual friend’. That I should’ve been the bigger person. That she was going thru a rough time with her pregnancy. 3 - MTB never disclosed to me why she had to make a hard decision and why I was uninvited which. The whole point of us 10 volunteering was to take off the burden off her shoulders. Our mutual friend who was the decor lady was the first one to reach out to me about me not being there since she and I coordinated where the food was going to be at. She’s also the one that told me that MTB was telling her and other people that I got my feelings hurt which is why I didn’t want to come. She didn’t tell them what hurt my feelings. Or how or when. I was too worn out from prepping and cooking to fire back. I took the peaceful route. I didn’t ask for the money I spent on the decor - my gift I guess. 4 - I donated all the food to the women’s and children’s shelter. I figured they’re more deserving. I cook Filipino food all the time plus I got a freezer stash of lumpia.

2025-09-12 14:46:55

Anya Petrova

Family

AITA for telling my son he doesn't have to respect his step mother anymore?

My wife and I have a hers, mine, and ours situation. She came into the marriage with a now 5 year old. I have a 12 year old. We have 1.5 year old twins together (thanks clomid). We have a 2 bedroom house with a finished basement and a sort of nursery room that my wife uses as an office. The girls use the second bedroom and my son has the basement. There was a house fire two weeks ago in the middle of the night while I was gone helping my parents. My wife immediately collected the girls and the babies diaper bag. She said she yelled "fire" and thought that my son had already run out the door from the basement, and that she felt the highest priority was getting the babies out because she has seen how quickly young children die in fires. Which is almost understandable if she went looking for him outside. However. She went BACK INTO THE HOUSE, went TO THE KITCHEN, packed 5s insulin (T1 diabetic) and ran back out without checking the basement which is right there. My son is fine now thanks to the firemen, but suffered some lung damage. It will take years for his lungs to fully recover. Sports in high school? Likely gone. He's not on oxygen or anything but he can't do sports for a long while. My wife and I have been fighting bitterly since then. Divorce isn't an option or it would be on the table (we would both be homeless). She has always complained that my son has never listened to or respected or in the past, while my son always said that he felt like she didn't like him. I asked her why he would respect her, when she truly proved that she would hold everything, even insulin, over his life. I know insulin is expensive, but it's the principle. I told my son that I was sorry I didn't see the truth before and that he didn't have to respect or listen to my wife anymore, but that financially we all just have to live in the same house and deal with each other so just treat her like any passing stranger. She argued with me saying that I was just giving him a free pass to "make her life hell". Quite frankly, turnabout seems like fair play. AITA? **EDIT** My wife is not the diabetic. The 5 year old is. "5" refers to the 5 year old.

2025-10-07 05:28:14

Luca Moretti