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Category - AITA

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I (28F) caught my husband (32M) doing the most disturbing thing with a reborn doll. I feel sick. AITAH for wanting to divorce him?
Relationships

I (28F) caught my husband (32M) doing the most disturbing thing with a reborn doll. I feel sick. AITAH for wanting to divorce him?

Last month was our marriage anniversary, end of Jan. After dinner, he told me he had a gift for me. I was excited. I opened the box and it was so creepy. It was a realistic doll like how a baby looks. I had no idea things like this even exist. he told me these are called reborn dolls. I was so weirded out because it’s like holding a dead baby. The eyes are closed, it just felt wrong. It came with a bunch of clothes and stuff. I was just shocked why he would get this. I didn’t want to be rude, so I asked oh wow, what made you get this?And he said, since I told him I don’t feel that mom vibe or anything seeing kids, he got me this doll to help me. I was so creeped out, but I didn’t want to ruin the night, so I just said thanked him and went to bed. Never talked about it again. A few days pass and last night sunday, he went out with his friends. They usually drink so it’s not uncommon. He was at his friend’s place and said he’d be home late. I had work early the next day, so I went to sleep. At 4 AM, I woke up to get ready for my shift. I went downstairs and saw him passed out on the couch. I went closer to wake him up so he wouldn’t hurt his back sleeping there. And then. i saw it. Next to him was his drinks. A bottle of lube. And that silicone sticky doll. Without clothes. Placed on his private parts. He was just laying there. Passed out. my heart sank. I felt disgusted. Disturbed. I quietly went upstairs, grabbed some clothes and left. I called in sick and checked into a hotel. now I’m sitting here, devastated. I don’t know what to do. I feel sick I don’t even know who to talk to about this or who to tell. He’s been calling and texting, asking why I’m not home, saying I’m overreacting. He keeps saying its not what it looks like and that I need to give him a chance to explain. he said he was just cuddling it, but I know what I saw. He has no reason to have that doll on him, in that position, with that stuff next to him. I don’t feel safe seeing him again. i don’t know how to tell my friends or family. I’m Indian, and there’s going to be a lot of judgment about divorce if I even say the word divorce. my family will not hear me out, they only think divorce is justified if someone is being physically abusive. i don’t even know how to explain why I don’t want to be with him anymore. I feel like he’s going to turn this on me, say I’m being crazy, and no one will believe me. Am I just overreacting or being the asshole by not hearing him out? i know my brother and close friends will trust me. But my parents and relatives? they’ll think I’m insane. I am worried about going back home and facing him. i want to tell someone about it and want a friend or my brother to come with me if I have to go grab some more stuff from home. What should I do from here?

Jonas Bergström
AITA for canceling the credit card my ex was using?
Relationships

AITA for canceling the credit card my ex was using?

I had a credit card that I’d had for ten years. Two years ago, I added my ex to the card -- he has his own card in his name and everything but it’s just linked to my account and I pay for it. He’s been unemployed for two years or so. When we broke up, I was paying the rent so he had to move out. I gave him a month to find a job (literally, any job) and a new place to live, but at the end of the month he hadn’t found (or done) anything. He refused to leave. Finally, he agreed to exit the premises, on one condition: that I keep open his credit card. I wanted him to leave so badly at that point, I acquiesced. I paid close attention to my credit card statements after that. What was he buying? Where was he living? He was only spending about $300-400 a week, mostly on food, but also some line items were not immediately apparent what they were, and I thought they might be gas stations for cigarettes or booze. I paid it off every time, but considering that this is more than he spent on the card when he was using it while ||...↘️

Clara Jensen
AITA for making my kid's teacher "collateral damage"?
AITA

AITA for making my kid's teacher "collateral damage"?

Getting a divorce is easy but dealing with it afterwards is harder. My son’s mother and I have been divorced since January. There is a lot of bad blood on her end because she didn’t get what she wanted. What she wanted was insane and what I got was fair. I just want to move on and co-parent our 7yo son. He’s been largely unaffected by it. Long story short, I found out that his teacher had been going back and forth with my ex regarding our son. I was not copied. I went straight to the teacher and reminded her that there was no excuse to exclude me on matters regarding my son. She tried correcting me that the emails were not about my son per se, but classroom matters. So I corrected her back and asked is my son not in her classroom? She admitted that she was wrong and it wasn’t on purpose. It was just that my ex is always emailing her but that’s better and more comfortable than having her do it in person. I asked her what stuff was my ex talking about and she said “your divorce and the drama.” I was angry that my ex would discuss personal matters with someone that I have to deal with so I went to the... ...𝗦𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝟭𝘀𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 👇

Jonas Bergström
AITA for asking for compensation for babysitting my niece after a year and a half?
AITA

AITA for asking for compensation for babysitting my niece after a year and a half?

My (20F) niece is a year and a half old and I’ve been my sister’s (27F) only babysitter since she was born. My mom occasionally babysits but only about once a month as she lives 45 minutes away from my sister and I only live 15 minutes away. Well, my sister has been asking me to babysit A LOT recently. For example in the past week I’ve babysat 5 days. And it’s not just for an hour… Yesterday I was there from 9 am - 6 pm. I haven’t been home for more than a few hours (not sleeping) in days. She made me get somebody to cover my shift at work today so I could babysit, and does this often. She doesn’t allow me to eat any food at her house but I’m also not allowed to take my niece in the car (I’ve never been pulled over or in any accidents that I was driving) so my only option is to order delivery, which can get expensive. She’s told me in the past she’s going to start paying me but the only time she’s EVER paid me was over NYE where she paid $40 for babysitting over night. My sister just moved over 30 minutes away from ...⬇️

Luca Moretti
AITA for telling my dad his mistake isn't my problem to fix?
AITA

AITA for telling my dad his mistake isn't my problem to fix?

I (20f) live about two hours from my dad. My dad and mom divorced when I was 9, he remarried when I was 14 and by then I mostly lived with my mom. My younger brother (16m) and sister (17f) lived mostly there too. Then our mom died a year and a half ago and they moved to our dads. Our dad has younger stepkids (ages 7 to 11) and I never really had much of a relationship with them. When I see my dad I am kind, I treat them the same as my siblings, but to me it isn't really the same and I do make much more of an effort with my siblings. Which makes sense to me. I usually see them once or twice a month and we go watch a movie or go shopping and generally hang out. They’ve been to my apartment a few times too. So my dad ended up mentioning them sleeping at my place next month in front of his stepkids, and according to my siblings the younger kids got upset and asked why they didn't get to go, and his wife was pissed that not only did he bring it up in front of her kids but ||...↘️

Elise Dubois
Woman’s Dine-And-Dash Scheme Goes Spectacularly Wrong After Latest Victim Requests Separate Checks Thanks To Friendly Tip-Off
Advice

Woman’s Dine-And-Dash Scheme Goes Spectacularly Wrong After Latest Victim Requests Separate Checks Thanks To Friendly Tip-Off

I (28m) work with this woman Lydia (24f) who has a very annoying habit. She has a dating profile that she uses specifically to lure guys to buying her expensive dinners at restaurants she wants to try and then ghosts them. Lydia brags about this all the time, and is never interested in actually dating, but she’ll act like it to sell it. I can’t stand this because it’s playing with people’s hearts, but Lydia thinks of it as a life hack to try food or drinks she otherwise couldn’t afford. My friend Daniel (32m) is also on dating sites, but for the right reasons. His late wife died a few years ago, and he’s just started jumping back into the dating scene. Daniel’s a very sweet guy, and I really want him to find a great lady for him. A few days ago, he texted me asking if I knew Lydia. They matched and got to talking about work, which is how he found out we worked at the same place. I told him all about Lydia’s BS with the restaurant thing, and made it very clear to him he would do best to drop things with her early on. Daniel said he’d probably still do the date but ask for separate checks. Well they went out this past weekend and on Monday Lydia came into work very upset. I asked her how her date with Daniel went, and she ripped into me asking if I was the one who told him not to pay for her dinner. Apparently she had Daniel take her to a high end steakhouse and she ended up splurging. She got a drink, a full entree with a side and dessert where Daniel just ordered a sandwich and salad. Her bill alone came to $70 something, and she was almost in tears at work as she didn’t expect to pay for it and now her car was low on gas. I got a little upset too as she tried to use my friend as a literal meal ticket, but somehow she doesn’t see it that way. Daniel told me later the date was going kind of well until he asked for separate checks, and then Lydia just got weirdly cold. So now Lydia’s mad at me because I told someone about her little tactic and it backfired on her. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong since it was a grieving friend I was protecting but some other people we work with said I should have stayed out of it because it was none of my business

Luca Moretti
AITA for fake crying at my brother’s wedding because the groom’s ex kept trying to make me the problem
Family

AITA for fake crying at my brother’s wedding because the groom’s ex kept trying to make me the problem

So my brother got married this weekend!! Yay love etc. His new wife is sweet. She’s a bit type-A but we like her. The problem wasn’t her. The problem was the groom’s ex who, for some ungodly reason, was invited. Because of “family ties.” (Read: her mom is besties with our aunt and no one in this family has the spine to say no to anything with a pulse and a party dress.) Anyway, She shows up wearing white. With feathers oh wow. Mind you not like subtle bridal white but like flamingo Vegas bachelorette levels of white. She greets people like she’s the one getting married and then sits in the second row like she’s starring in a documentary called If I Hadn’t Been Dumped. I try to ignore her. Truly. I smile, I drink my dumb little prosecco, I take polite pictures. I even move when she “accidentally” places her clutch on the seat I was saving for my grandma. Then during the reception she starts trying to get my attention. At first it’s subtle, eye contact and stuff. The “oops did I bump into you again” thing. Then she tells one of the bridesmaids that I “seem sad.” That I “don’t look happy for them.” Girl what. She says it like three more times to different people. Suddenly people are asking me if I’m okay. My own mother pulls me aside like I’m about to throw myself into the fondue fountain because of my own brother’s wedding. So what’s a girl to do? I walk back into the reception. I sit down at the table. And I start fake crying. Like full dramatic movie cry. Silent tear, hand tremble, all of it. The DJ actually lowers the volume. People rush over. And I go, “It’s just… so beautiful. The love. The commitment. The fact that some people know how to move on.” And I glance right at her. She left not long after without saying a word lol. Anyway after the events I didn’t say another word. I just ate my cake, did a little two-step during “Dancing Queen,” and slept like an emotionally well-adjusted menace. Great night. Would fake cry again.

Anya Petrova
AITA for offering my kids nanny more money/hours so she won't work for my SIL?
AITA

AITA for offering my kids nanny more money/hours so she won't work for my SIL?

My husband and I have 3 kids (10mo f, 4m, 10f). We currently have a nanny, Isabelle (22f) 3 days a week. I have to say, Isabelle is fucking amazing. She drives on field trips, she does homework with the kids, she handles play dates, she's the one adult my 10 year old likes, she's not dependent on screens, does art projects with the kids, she speaks 10 year old, and she's even teaching them how to cook and bake. They made mini quiches a few weeks ago. My oldest is doing state testing right now and wanted a fun activity with her friends. Isabelle suggested a spa day and my daughter loved it. I set up a day for my 4 year old to go home with his grandparents and let Isabelle turn our living room into a spa. She picked up my daughter, my niece, and 2 friends, brought them to our house, and did their hair and nails while they laid back and did face masks. I guess my niece was telling her mom how cool Isabelle is because my SIL texted Isabelle offering her a nanny position 4 days a week, matching whatever I pay her but for only 1 kid. Isabelle showed me the text and told me that she .....⬇️

Luca Moretti
My son stopped visiting because I wouldn't serve his girlfriend coffee—was I wrong?
Relationships

My son stopped visiting because I wouldn't serve his girlfriend coffee—was I wrong?

New account, but I’ve been reading here for a while. My (64f) son (31) was over and I was asking him about his girlfriend of about 3 years. Now, I’ve only met her a handful of times, but I know they’re serious because they plan trips and talk about buying a home. I asked why she never comes over bc it seems like she doesn’t like me. I’ve asked him this before and he never gave an answer, but today he seemed fed up and pretty much told me it was because of me. He told me that I act “too weird and intense.” When I wanted examples, he told me 1) I kept on interrupting conversations she was having with my husband - but it was because I think she was bored. 2) I try to get too close to her during dinner - I would have thought she’d want to sit next to me and get to know me since she can sit next to my son any other time. 3) I wasn’t very hospitable by asking her to help with clean up and not offering her coffee when I offered everyone else. I will admit that is true because I didn’t think she’d want any. And he also brought up something I did with his ex years ago, which I’ve already apologized for. I told him I think this is ridiculous. She’s a very smart and capable woman. I told him I don’t understand why she needs to be catered to like this. She can get her own coffee! He told me it’s not worth trying to explain things and ended up leaving. WITAH the asshole for doing that to his girlfriend, and for thinking she’s quite immature for not wanting to come over to my house bc she wasn’t catered to enough? She may think I’m too weird but I don’t think that justifies not coming over when she’s in a serious relationship with my son.

Clara Jensen
AITA

AITA for refusing to take the blame after my niece was hospitalized?

Let me start by saying I don't know much about flowers, plants, etc., but I have two cactus from my ex-boyfriend. One of them looks like a generic cactus. The second one is almost white and looks like it has soft fluff instead of spines. It's soft to the touch, but if you touch it for too long, the soft fuzz becomes prickly. I've pricked myself a few times with it, but it never hurt me. That said, my sister came to our country with her husband and children (M13, M8, F6). The second day they came to visit me. At one point, all the adults (me, her husband, her, and our mother) were in the kitchen cooking together, while children (nephews and our younger cousin) stayed in the living room watching cartoons. When my sister and I went into the living room, we saw that her daughter was licking this cactus. We quickly learned that children were intrested in its unusual appearance and discovered that it was soft, and then began encouraging each other to touch and lick it. Well, okay. I placed ...𝗦𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝟭𝘀𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁. 🔥

Elise Dubois
AITA for reminding my Step-mother that she chose to not be a grandmother?
Family

AITA for reminding my Step-mother that she chose to not be a grandmother?

My father married my Step-mother when I was 20. She had two young teenagers at the time who I have always referred to as my step-siblings, but because of our ages and never living with them, we were never particularly close, although we get along just fine. When I was 30, I had my first child and I asked her what she wanted to be called by my son and she did not want to be any form of "grandmother", just wanted to be called by her first name (let's call her Nancy). My three children are now young adults and have never really had much of a relationship with Nancy aside from as Gramps's wife. Everyone gets along fine, she has just never treated them as grandkids. Her choice. Over the years, she has said how she can't wait to be a grandmother, it's her dream. My step-siblings (Nancy's children) are both in committed, long term relationships and have both chosen to not have children. I am now 53, re-married to a great guy with two children of his own (young adults). The oldest is getting married soon and can't wait to have kids. We were all chatting about this at Christmas and I mentioned that I couldn't wait to be a grandma, talking with my step-daughter about what her mom wants to be called, what I'll be called, etc. My kids consider their step-sibs family, and vice versa. We rarely even use the "step" part. I will treat all my grandkids the same, whether they are technically my step-grands or not. Anyway, later in the day I walked into the room where Nancy and my step-daughter were chatting and overheard Nancy say how devastated she is that she never had any grandchildren and how it was the thing she had always dreamed of. My step-daughter said "I'm confused, don't you have 3?" Nancy responded and said "no, they're not mine, they're my husband's". At that point, I spoke up and said "they could always have been yours too, but you didn't want to be their grandma". Nancy didn't say much, just "I know, but it's not the same." I then just told my step-daughter that it was all the same to me and she hugged me. The next day, my dad called and said that I hurt Nancy's feelings and that I should have said something way sooner if I wanted the kids to call her a form of grandma. I responded that it wasn't an issue for me, it was her choice. I was just pointing out that she could have had the role and she chose not to, but that it hurt me that she now complains that she never had any grandchildren. Just a difference of opinion, I guess? AITA here? Should I have just kept my mouth shut? I hate that I hurt her feelings, but I wanted to be clear to my (step)daughter that I didn't share the same feelings. My dad says that Nancy felt I was rude for "calling her out" but I think I was just defending how it played out and how I hope it plays out differently with my family. AITA?

Jonas Bergström
AITA for giving FMIL 3 days to pay me for a new wedding dress or else I show the family a photo of her wearing it?
Family

AITA for giving FMIL 3 days to pay me for a new wedding dress or else I show the family a photo of her wearing it?

So, I'm getting married to my fiance soon. I bought my wedding dress weeks ago. His my (FMIL) kept pestering me about trying it on but I firmly refused. I finally shut it down after she offered me 100$ to let her try it on. Her reasoning for presisting so much? She says it's because of her 'love' for wedding dresses and her obsession with them. Fast forward to yesterday, I came home from work early and I found my fiance at home. He freaked out after seeing me and tried to prevent me from going into my room while trying to text somebody on his phone. I opened the door and was shocked to see his mom standing there wearing my dress. I instantly pulled out my phone and took a photo of her in it. She and my fiance freaked out after I told her that she needed to pay me for a new dress in 3 days or else I'll show the whole family the photo. She started crying and then left and my fiance blew up at me saying I can't be serious and that I overreacted because his mom just wanted to try the dress on, no ...👇

Luca Moretti
AITA for shrugging when my dad's wife told me they need all of dad's money right now?
Relationships

AITA for shrugging when my dad's wife told me they need all of dad's money right now?

I (17m) might be TA and I might be a big one but I wanted to get people's insight. So my dad left my mom when I was 14 to be with his wife/the woman he was cheating on my mom with. My dad didn't want me to think badly of him but I did. He knew I did and he knew he couldn't change my mind easily. We always knew my parents would end up with shared custody until I was 17 at least (from experience the judges in family court will only stop enforcing shared custody when a kid turns 17 and speaks out, any younger and they insist on 50/50). I also knew mom would struggle on her own because while she did work, she never made as much as my dad. She also wouldn't get child support because of the 50/50 and it wasn't ordered even with the difference in income. So when dad pleaded with me to give him a chance to show he could still be a good dad and he said he would do anything for me, I told him to keep supporting mom and make sure she wasn't going to end up struggling while he got ....👇

Anya Petrova
AITAH for rejecting a single mom based on her life style and friends ?
Lifestyle

AITAH for rejecting a single mom based on her life style and friends ?

I’m a 43 year old man who lives in Canada. My wife ended our marriage 3 years ago. She started having an affair with her married friend. She filed for divorce and left me and the kids (14 m, 12f) to be with the new love in USA. I have full custody of the kids. It was really hard at first but now we have a good routine going on and kids are doing great. They see a therapist regularly. I never dated after my divorce. I started working out mostly for stress relief and joined a running club called “boring running dads”. I’m mentally in a better space. My best friend’s wife messaged me that she thinks she found the perfect match for me. She said “she is perfect! She is a single mom, she is cute and very outgoing! What are you doing on Friday night!”. I told her I’m driving my daughter to her practice and my son wanna bring a friend over for playing video games later. She said she will volunteer to do so I can go on the date. I told my kids that I have dinner with a friend and she (my best friend’s wife) will be helping me. Here is the thing: she showed up. She is 37, and she was very pretty. She has 3 kids with two dads. The dads are in the picture and get along great. Her kids (the two oldest) are around mine. Then she started saying how fun she is! She goes clubbing with another single mom all the time. I was surprised because at our age clubbing is weird but I thought maybe because I’m a boring person. She was laughing and bragging about how she got drunk once and her other mom friend I convinced her to do line of coke. Then said her sister is her best friend too and always gives her great advice. I was like oh! That’s nice. Does she have kids? She said no haha doesn’t fit her lifestyle. She works as a stripper at club and does onlyfans on the side. Here is what I might have been an asshole. After I paid the bill she asked me to go back to her place because kids were with their dads. I lied and said I can’t because I have to get to my kids. When I got back I told my best friend’s wife I really didn’t click with her. She tried to convince me to give her another chance and it’s been so long for you and I’m out of touch with reality. She said I was a judgy asshole that I judged her based on her sister and friends. I told her I’ll think about it. I thought about it and texted her. I said thank you for going out with me but I think we want different things in life. Good luck. Then I blocked her. Apparently, she called my friend’s wife and got mad for setting her up with an asshole and got angry because she didn’t expect a rejection. My friend and his wife are mad and said I should have at least given a chance and I embarrassed myself by being a backward person. My friend’s wife even said I can see why your wife left your boring ass! Was I as asshole?

Elise Dubois
AITA for Going to HR after my coworker stole my cane?
AITA

AITA for Going to HR after my coworker stole my cane?

Before we get into the big issue, I want to get into an incident that happened at work before this. It occurred on Father's Day. Offending Coworker, we'll call him D, was having a conversation with another coworker, with occasional butting in from other coworkers. I spoke up at one point and joked that he'd been talking for so long, that he should take a breath so he doesn't pass out. His immediate reaction was to tell me that the conversation was between "Real men, fathers, not me." I didn't report it (I know, stupid) but I thought I could just make the move of no longer engaging with him and going about my job. This changed a few days ago. Due to a past injury, my ankle will flair up with pain occasionally when standing that I alleviate by using a cane. I keep it in the same spot every day so that I know where it is and don't forget it when I leave after a particularly hard day at work. I was in the back of the kitchen during a slow day. I come back to the front to find D using my cane, pretending to limp in a mockery of me to my other coworkers. I took it out of his hands, told him to not touch my stuff, and have since approached HR. Certain people above me have been made aware and have told me that I have completely overreacted or am looking to cause problems to get D fired. Did I overreact? Am I the asshole?

Jonas Bergström
My wife uses her vibrator while our baby sleeps right next to her and thinks I'm wrong
Relationships

My wife uses her vibrator while our baby sleeps right next to her and thinks I'm wrong

Tonight, i was in the living room playing a game when my wife went to bed with our 1 year old who she co-sleeps with. I sleep on a separate bed and usually go to bed much later. She texts me and asks if i can bring her 2 batteries. I asked what she needed them for to see if it was urgent or something she just needed me to do before i came to bed, to which she replied it was for her sex toy, a vibrator. I was immediately taken aback. I asked just to confirm if she planned on masturbating while our son slept in the bed less than a foot away. She said yes, as it’s the only time she’s usually able to, and further confirmed she does so often, as well as watching porn while doing so. I’m okay with watching porn and masturbating, but doing so with our child in the bed directly next to her made me extremely uncomfortable. I said “oh wow” and that my concerns had been confirmed, to which she has since called me a jerk and said i made her feel gross about herself.

Luca Moretti
AITA for choosing to attend my brother’s graduation over my mother’s wedding?
Family

AITA for choosing to attend my brother’s graduation over my mother’s wedding?

My younger brother (22), let’s call him Stefan is graduating from university this coming July and has invited my other younger brother (18) and I to his graduation. History: Stefan (13) caught our mother (37 at that time) in bed with another man, the man she is currently going to get married to and it totally destroyed his relationship with her. He exposed her to our father immediately and we all chose to follow our father during the ugly custody battle and the fact that she had mental illnesses did not help her case at all. She got visitation rights every weekend but we never went and cried whenever she came to visit us. My mother lost her s*it and had to go to many therapy sessions as she had lost the custody battle, all her children chose to live with their father and didn’t want to see her. Stefan was especially angry and said he could never forgive her for betraying our father and cut off all contact with her despite her begging and trying to get in touch with him for the first 5 years after the incident...

Anya Petrova
AITAH for telling my husband’s sister I won’t let her be in the delivery room after how she acted at my baby shower?
Family

AITAH for telling my husband’s sister I won’t let her be in the delivery room after how she acted at my baby shower?

I’m (30F) due in 5 weeks. My husband (32M) is very close to his younger sister “Jenna” (28F) and she’s been way too involved in my pregnancy. I didn’t mind at first, she’s excited to be an aunt, but she crosses boundaries often. At the baby shower (which she co-hosted with my best friend), she made it about her. She gave a speech where she said things like, “I’ll be the real second mom,” and “I’ve been researching everything because someone needs to make sure the baby’s raised right.” I was shocked. She also snapped at my mom when she tried to give me advice, saying, “Let’s not go with old-school methods.” My friend later told me Jenna tried to change the theme and order different food without asking me. I talked to my husband about it and told him I didn’t feel comfortable with Jenna being in the delivery room anymore (she had asked to be there). He said that would devastate her and that she was “just excited” and probably didn’t realize how she came off. I said this isn’t about punishing her, it’s about what I need during labor. He said I was being exclusionary and causing drama before the baby’s even here. So, AITAH for refusing to let her in the delivery room?

Anya Petrova