Friend's Girlfriend Laughed About Almost Getting Us K**led by a Bear So I Banned Her
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Elise Dubois
Narrative Coach & Identity Reconstruction Specialist
Elise Dubois is a French narrative coach who helps individuals reframe personal stories after major life transitions. Whether it's a career change, loss, or identity crisis, Elise guides people to reconstruct meaning through narrative therapy and reflective journaling. She blends psychological insight with creative expression.
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AITA for staying anonymous after reporting my sister and her husband to CPS?
My sister met her husband when she was pregnant with another man's child. She never told anyone in the family who the father is, and she never told the father about the child either. Her husband refused to include my nephew in the wedding or treat him as his own. Since they had their own children, his bad treatment of my nephew has become worse. He refuses to watch my nephew, threatens to let him starve, and says he would not stop him from getting hurt. My sister ignores this and defends her husband. I reported this to Child Protective Services anonymously. They investigated but did not remove my nephew because there were no physical injuries. My sister is angry about the report and wants to find out who made it. Some of my family think it is cowardly to stay anonymous, but I worry that if my sister finds out it was me, I will never see my nephew again.
AITA for canceling stepdaughter's birthday party?
My stepdaughter is turning 18 and lives mostly with her mother. My husband works a lot but is a very involved father. He asked me to plan her birthday party, and I agreed, spending several hundred dollars and many hours of my own time to make sure everything was perfect. The conflict began when the biological mother demanded my husband buy over five thousand dollars in jewelry and concert tickets for their daughter, which we could not afford. When my husband refused, the biological mother drove to our home, stood in our driveway, and began screaming and cursing at him. To defend my husband and our home, I went outside and told her to shut her mouth and that she had no right to speak to him that way. Although my stepdaughter was not present, her mother told her about the confrontation. Consequently, my stepdaughter uninvited me from the party I planned and funded, claiming she and her mother felt too uncomfortable to have me there. In response, I decided to cancel the reservations, catering, and decorations, choosing to redirect my money elsewhere.
AITA for refusing to let my mom move into my new house
I recently put an offer on a home that was accepted, and I am getting ready to close next week. Over the last five years, I worked extremely hard to pay down my debt and save money by working multiple jobs and going to school full-time. My mother and I have never gotten along well, but I moved her into my tiny apartment a year ago to help her out because she lives on Social Security and cannot work. Our agreement was to split expenses, but she has rarely paid her share, doubling my financial burden while constantly criticizing me. When I bought my house, I did so in my name only to protect myself. After she saw the house, she immediately criticized it and demanded the master bedroom. This led to a major argument where I told her she could not live with me. Now, she refuses to look for veteran housing assistance, my siblings want nothing to do with her, and I am emotionally drained by her dependency.
AITA for telling my sister she has more than enough children?
My sister already has six children with her husband, which is far more than they can comfortably provide for given their financial troubles. It is also more than both of them can handle, resulting in my fifteen-year-old niece being treated as an unpaid babysitter who is constantly expected to help with her younger siblings. Recently, my sister experienced a miscarriage during the early stages of her seventh pregnancy. While talking to her about this painful experience, I remarked that at least she already has six other children and suggested that perhaps that is enough. My sister was highly offended, calling me insensitive and stating that her family choices do not concern me. However, they do affect me, as I have loaned her and her husband money on multiple occasions to help support their household.
AITA for telling my brother that if my parents need money they can ask me for it themselves.
My parents did not think a girl needed an education, so they chose not to save any money for me growing up. They had no interest in my education or extracurricular activities. My mom's brother, Bryan, grew up in the UK and he had a different attitude. He would always check in on me and see how I was doing in school. He bought me my first graphing calculator. Because I wanted to impress him, I worked myself raw to graduate with honors. I was the salutatorian in my school and received a scholarship to my dream school. I did not even bother telling my parents. I graduated from high school and moved to the west coast. My parents tried to convince me to come home, but I was quite happy for the first time I could remember. I studied in a STEM field and was recruited before I graduated. My job pays me very well and I met my husband at work. My brother also attended university and is an engineer. He does well for himself, except that he is constantly giving our parents money. My brother talked to me recently about how we needed to support our parents in their old age. I said I had no problem contributing to them. However, they would have to ask me for help. I would not volunteer it or send it through him. If they wanted my money, they had to ask for it. He says that they won't because it would shame my father to ask a woman for money. I am okay with him feeling shame after the way he raised me. My brother says I am being unreasonable and it does not matter since my parents know where the money will be coming from. I think that my parents need to get over themselves.
AITA for not wanting to "adjust" to my(28F) boyfriend's(26M) parents living with us for months at a time?
My boyfriend and I have been living together for three years in Australia. A few months ago, his parents arrived from India to live with us. Although I was excited to make them feel comfortable, their demands soon made me feel uneasy in my own home. They were uncomfortable with us sleeping in the same room, resulting in my boyfriend sleeping in the living room for two months. The mother took over the kitchen and excluded me from grocery shopping, and they did not acknowledge me as his girlfriend in front of friends or help with cleaning. They also rearranged furniture against our requests, and his father expressed concern that I was not helping in the kitchen, which was untrue. Furthermore, they credited my boyfriend for things he did not do and criticized my clothing, claiming it violated their family values. My primary issue is that my boyfriend did not acknowledge these problems or stand up for me. He dismissed my concerns, saying his parents were guests and his father was simply traditional. After they left, I moved to another city for a job, and our long-distance relationship has been great. However, he recently informed me that his parents are visiting again for two months, having booked the tickets without consulting me. He expects me to accept frequent, long visits as a condition of moving back in together. I feel my privacy and personal space are being disregarded, and I want him to consider my needs and set boundaries.
AITAH for getting a dna test to see if i share the same dna as both my parents even though i was demanded specifically by my mom not to do so, since i was a child?
I have always suspected that I might not be biologically related to my parents. Growing up, my mother treated me and my younger brother very differently. I was disciplined more harshly, grounded for longer periods, and subjected to invasive phone searches, while my brother faced few consequences even when he got his girlfriend pregnant at sixteen. My father was mostly passive and uninvolved in my upbringing. Due to the toxic environment, I eventually moved 1,000 miles away with my spouse to find peace. My suspicions are fueled by physical and legal anomalies. I do not share my parents' physical features, such as their freckles or dark brown eyes, and I am the only person in both my immediate and extended family with a completely different last name. Whenever I questioned my mother about my last name, she became defensive and refused to explain. Recently, during a family visit, a card game prompted me to admit to getting a DNA test. My mother reacted with immediate anger and hostility, which caused me to panic and lie that I was joking. Despite promising my mother during my childhood that I would never take a DNA test, my curiosity led me to purchase a kit. My mother's oldest sister recently found a long-lost sister through a DNA test, yet my mother remains strictly opposed to me doing the same. I have sent my kit in and expect the results soon, but I feel immense guilt, as if searching for the truth is a betrayal that could ruin my family relationships.
AITA for leaving Thanksgiving because my partner's creepy brother was there?
I and my partner have been friends for a few years and started dating more seriously early this year. This was the first time he invited me to Thanksgiving, which he called a Friendsgiving. His parents were hosting it, but it was mostly their friends and his friends, not extended family. For whatever reason, I assumed his brother would not be there. I have tried really hard to be nice to his brother, who has always made me uncomfortable with staring and hovering. Last year, my partner asked if his brother could join us on a road trip. I expressed my discomfort, but my partner assured me it would be fine. During the trip, I felt like I was babysitting him. A few weeks later, I discovered that his brother had posted lewd drawings of me online, which he had created during our trip. When I brought this up to my partner, he brushed it off, and I did not explicitly spell out how uncomfortable it made me. I made it clear that I did not want to be around his brother after that. When I had dinner with his parents, his brother usually stayed in his room. However, at the Friendsgiving dinner, his brother showed up and was seated right next to me. My partner did not warn me or try to prevent us from being seated together. Feeling overwhelmed, I decided to leave. I took the car keys, and when my partner asked what I was doing, I raised my voice in front of the guests, telling him he could choose between me and his brother. I drove away, leaving him at his parents' house, and went to stay with my sister.
UPDATE: AITA for blocking my friend of 10 years after she committed a HIPAA violation against me?
A close friend of ten years, Alice, used her work computer at a medical clinic to look up the author's health insurance information. Alice took a photo of the screen with her phone and sent the screenshot to the author, claiming she did it out of curiosity to help with the author's worsening health issues. However, the author never gave permission for this search. Furthermore, Alice's boyfriend had access to Alice's phone and laptop, raising concerns that the author's sensitive personal information, including name, address, and birthday, was exposed to an unauthorized third party. After the incident, the author blocked Alice due to her lack of a sincere apology. Another friend, Bella, dismissed the author's privacy concerns as Alice being playful, while a third friend, Cassie, initially validated the author but then ghosted them. Feeling isolated and recognizing the severity of the privacy breach, the author filed an official HIPAA complaint and eventually called the clinic's management to report the unauthorized access. The clinic launched an investigation, reviewed their access logs, and placed Alice on leave. They conducted an HR meeting and mandated HIPAA training for Alice while implementing new security measures to prevent future breaches. The author's friendship with the group ended, but the author felt reporting the incident was necessary to establish personal boundaries and secure closure.
AITA for telling my sister that her husband is having an affair?
I am seventeen years old, and my twenty-five-year-old sister is married to a thirty-eight-year-old man named James. Recently, while having lunch at a restaurant with a friend, I saw James with another woman. They appeared to be on an intimate date. My friend advised me to record them instead of confronting them immediately, so we gathered video proof. I went straight to my sister's house and showed her the footage. Instead of being sad, she became furious with me, accusing me of trying to ruin her marriage out of jealousy, and she kicked me out and blocked me. The next day, my sister arrived at our parents' house with her bags, having decided to leave James. She apologized to me, explaining that she already had suspicions but had reacted badly because she had fought hard against our family to marry him. Our father had previously warned her about James's manipulative nature and the age gap. My sister and I reconciled, and she is now proceeding with a divorce.
AITAH after kicking my boyfriend out for calling my daughter a snitch and spoiled brat?
I have been dating my boyfriend for a couple of years now. I have an eight-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, and he has a four-year-old son. My boyfriend and I have always bumped heads on parenting styles and discipline. He believes his son is too young to know better, but says my daughter should already know how to act, calling her disrespectful and spoiled. My daughter's father is in jail and no longer in her life, so she craves a father figure, but my boyfriend refuses to show her affection, calling it weird. Recently, he called her a spoiled brat for leaving her plate on the table and a snitch for reporting his son's behavior. When I saw my daughter cry, I asked him to apologize, but he refused. I kicked him out of my house, and now he claims I am being too dramatic.
WIBTA to insist my neighbor keep a yard schedule?
For background I have a severely reactive rescue dog. She's terrified of other dogs and freaks out majorly when she sees them or hears them. My partner and I have been working with our vet and a behavioral trainer and we've made some progress, but my dog is still not truly comfortable anywhere but her own yard. A new lady just moved in next door, and she has two big dogs. They seem like nice dogs, they are quiet and she works with them a lot. The problem is that she works from home full time, and her dogs are always outside. She doesn't leave them there for hours or anything, but I never know when she's going to let them out or for how long. She also spends a lot of time out there with them after work and on weekends. To be fair to her, she trains them and she doesn't let them run up on the fence, and if they do bark, she makes them go inside. They're still out on the other side of the fence though and my dog is now scared and reacting in her own backyard. When my dog starts carrying on, she is the one who has to go inside. She already can't enjoy walks and now she can't even enjoy being outside. I asked my neighbor if she'd consider a schedule for the dogs so that my dog can enjoy her yard too without the neighbor's dogs freaking her out on the other side of the fence. She was polite about it but said no, she bought the house with the yard for her dogs, and they use it. She said she'd be glad to tell me when she's leaving with them for a period of hours, but otherwise she's not going to change what she's doing day to day. So nothing changed and her dogs get plenty of outdoor time and mine gets none except for the stray times when she takes one of her dogs to a training class or takes both of them for a hike. I'm really upset and want to insist that we adopt a schedule so that my dog can have some outside time too. My dog does not get the same opportunity as her dogs, not even close. Her dogs have free access five days a week, weeknights, and weekends. My dog only gets outside time now when she says she is leaving for a class or a hike. If I let my dog out to sun herself at 10:30 on a Tuesday, sure enough, it won't be five minutes before she's letting her dogs out and then my dog freaks out and has to come in. She is not getting anywhere close to what they are getting. The fence is a privacy fence. My dog freaks out when she can hear and smell the other dogs as well as see them. She can't see these dogs but she knows they're there.
AITA for prioritising my cat over taking my partner out to birthday dinner?
I am dating a man whose birthday was on Monday. We were supposed to go to an expensive birthday dinner because he spent a lot of money on my birthday earlier this year. He earns much more than I do, but I wanted to do what I could. We have been together for two years. On the day before our dinner, I noticed my cat had a painful cyst in her eye that appeared overnight. I drove her two hours to an emergency vet on Sunday. There is a high risk she might lose her eye. Because she was not eating from the pain, I became very worried, canceled the dinner, and stayed home with her. I offered to reschedule and invited my partner to help me care for her. My partner became very angry. He had taken a vacation day to get drunk, and the restaurant had a three-month waiting list. He called me selfish and an asshole because he would miss his favorite seasonal meal. I decided to break up with him. I realized I care about my cat more and would make the same choice again. My cat is still weak and has developed diarrhea, so I am taking her back to the vet.
Dad disfigured me and refuses to address it- i accidentally make his fiancé leave him. AITAH?
When I was six years old, I tripped on my father's farm and fell face-first against a concrete wall. I lost three teeth and felt my jaw bones misalign. My father did not take me to the hospital. Instead, he forced my jaw back into place with his hands and told me not to tell my mother, who was traveling abroad at the time. Because I received no medical attention, my chin grew back disfigured and lopsided, causing me constant jaw pain, physical issues like bruxism, and deep insecurity. Recently, I told my mother the truth about the accident. She was furious and called my father, demanding that he pay for reconstructive surgery. My father reacted defensively, calling me vain and refusing to pay. During a recent visit, my father's fiancée asked me about my childhood. She had heard about the phone argument and was shocked. Feeling safe with her, I opened up about my past experiences with my father. Shortly after I returned home, my father called me in a rage. His fiancée had called off their wedding after learning about his past behavior. He blamed me entirely, screaming insults, calling me vengeful, and telling me he was glad my face was ruined. Despite the emotional toll and feeling guilty for the breakup, I realized with the support of my boyfriend that I did nothing wrong. I plan to call his ex-fiancée to talk, and I am choosing to focus on my own life, my upcoming exams, and moving forward without relying on my father.
AITAH For reclaiming my pregnancy snacks and not telling people about the pregnancy?
I am currently 14 weeks pregnant and have not told many people at work aside from HR, my direct supervisor, and a few close colleagues. It is not widely known that I am pregnant and I have been wearing baggy clothes as I wanted to wait a good amount of time before announcing it. My issue is that I now have limited foods I can eat and keep snacks at my desk so I can nibble throughout the day. I had a bowl of mixed fruit snacks (Welches and Albanese) and recently found out that I cannot eat the Welches because my blood sugar reacts more to them. I had yet to sort out the bowl and left it out for two days on the back of my desk. A coworker walked behind me, assumed I was in a meeting, and started taking them. I felt weird and did not say anything in the moment. I waited until after she left to sort out the fruit snacks and decided to be nice and put out the bowl in a shared area with the Welches since I will not be able to eat them. A week later, a different coworker was complaining loudly by my desk that someone had sorted the fruit snacks and taken all the good ones, leading me to believe multiple people were taking my snacks without asking. I normally keep them in my cabinet but forgot to put them away and was gone the following day. Since I pay for them myself, I am wondering if I overreacted by taking away the fruit snacks I can eat, or if I should stop keeping snacks at my desk entirely.
AITAH for not telling my housemate I’m moving out and taking everything with me?
I have lived with two of my friends in a rented house share for ten months. Around three months into our tenancy, a girl we did not know moved in to fill the final room. While I was initially excited to have another female housemate, our first interaction was tense; instead of greeting me, she immediately asked about our cleaning plans. Despite explaining our weekly routine, she quickly began using our kitchen items and leaving them dirty. When one of my friends gently addressed this, she reacted by shouting at me for fifteen minutes, accusing me of trying to look good in front of the male roommates. Over the next seven months, her behavior deteriorated further. She monopolized the clothes drying racks, damaged our communal chopping boards, and left her hair all over the floors. Additionally, she filled the entire freezer, left appliances dirty, neglected bathroom hygiene, and took my personal hygiene products without permission. Whenever we tried to address these grievances, her anger was directed solely at me. Recently, a new job opportunity allowed my two friends and me to find a three-bedroom flat together. We are moving out next week. Since we purchased about ninety percent of the communal items in the house—including the toaster, microwave, kettle, and vacuum—we plan to take them with us. Because our communication has completely broken down, I have decided not to inform her of our departure, leaving her to find out when she notices the viewings or when the moving van arrives.
AITA for locking up my romance novels so my husband can’t throw them away?
I love reading romance novels, josei manga, webtoons, and short stories. My husband recently started having an issue with my books, claiming they were in the way, even though I keep them on a single bookshelf and they do not affect his life. I pay my half of the bills and do my share of the chores. After he made a comment about throwing my books out to have a fresh start, I bought a small locked cabinet to secure them. My husband tried to open it, found it locked, and became upset, accusing me of not trusting him and caring more about my books than him. Later, I came home to find him trying to put back together a flimsy book of mine that had lost some pages. He kept apologizing, saying he did not mean to ruin it. I asked him why he was acting this way, especially since this behavior only started after we moved from a two-bedroom apartment into a studio. He admitted he felt annoyed that I spent so much time reading romance novels instead of spending time with him. In our previous home, my reading was less visible because of our working arrangements. He explained that his past partners had cheated on him, causing him to lose his romantic side. Seeing me so engrossed in romance books made him feel like I wanted romance, but not with him. He also admitted feeling insecure because we are not an overtly affectionate couple, though he recognizes the many ways I show my love, which makes him feel guilty. He apologized for his actions and expressed that he was just frustrated and hurt.
AITA for asking my wife to wear a big shirt during sex ?
My wife is the love of my life. I think she has a great body and I also think she's amazing in bed. We almost always have sex fully naked. I love seeing all of her body. The thing is, I also think it is very sexy when a woman is only wearing a shirt. I asked my wife if she could wear a big shirt during sex, for one time. She asked me if it's because of her weight. I was quick to tell her no. I told her I love her, she's gorgeous, and she's amazing in bed. She is at the same size now as she was when I married her. I told her nevermind about the shirt idea. She asked me if I want her to hide her belly. I said no. I said it wasn't about hiding stuff. It was just like a fun fantasy. She still looks sad. Am I the asshole?