WIBTA if I told my mom the reason I don't wanna have kids is because of her?

Clara Jensen

Beneath the forced smiles and holiday cheer lies a heavy truth—one woman’s yearning for grandchildren is a relentless echo of her own failures as a mother. While her family celebrates new life, she fixates on the future she demands, oblivious to the scars she’s left behind. Her obsession is not born of love, but a desperate attempt to rewrite the story she once shattered.

For the daughter who bears the weight of a childhood marked by absence and cruelty, the pressure to conform to her mother’s wishes feels like a cruel betrayal. Each demand for grandchildren is a painful reminder of the love she never received, and the choice she makes to break the cycle is an act of quiet, unyielding strength.

WIBTA if I told my mom the reason I don't wanna have kids is because of her?
'WIBTA if I told my mom the reason I don't wanna have kids is because of her?'

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AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.:

It didn’t take long before the comment section turned into a battleground of strong opinions and even stronger emotions.

After reading through the Reddit comments, it's clear that many empathize with the OP's difficult relationship with her mother and the pressure she faces regarding having children. Commenters often emphasize that choosing whether or not to have kids is a personal decision and that no one should be coerced or guilted into parenthood, especially by someone who was neglectful or hurtful in the past. Many applaud the OP for standing firm in her choice despite the emotional burden imposed by her mother’s expectations.

In reflecting on the story, it highlights the complicated dynamics within families where past trauma and unmet needs can lead to unrealistic demands, such as the mother’s fixation on grandchildren. It’s important to recognize and respect individual boundaries and life choices, especially when the motivation behind those choices is rooted in self-preservation and healing. Ultimately, the OP’s decision is valid, and hopefully, over time, her mother may come to understand that love and acceptance don’t hinge on grandchildren.

CJ

Clara Jensen

Cognitive Neuroscientist & Mental Fitness Coach

Clara Jensen is a Danish cognitive neuroscientist with a passion for making brain science accessible. With a Ph.D. from the University of Copenhagen, she helps people enhance focus, memory, and emotional regulation through evidence-based strategies. Clara also coaches professionals on boosting mental performance under pressure.

Cognitive Performance Neuroscience Mental Resilience