AITA for telling my DIL her feelings are not my problem and for f**k sakes you don’t need to be invited to everything

Jonas Bergström

In this family, a sacred code word breathes life into an unbreakable bond, signaling immediate gathering in the face of hardship. It is a rare summons, a call to drop everything and come together—a silent vow that only true siblings are invited, creating a sanctuary where vulnerability can flow without restraint or pretense.

Today, that code was spoken again, this time by the husband, revealing the weight of impending surgery. While the siblings rallied quietly, a ripple of hurt surfaced when the daughter-in-law, excluded by design, voiced her pain—unaware that this ritual exists not to exclude, but to protect the raw honesty shared only among blood.

AITA for telling my DIL her feelings are not my problem and for fuck sakes you don’t need to be invited to everything
'AITA for telling my DIL her feelings are not my problem and for fuck sakes you don’t need to be invited to everything'

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REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.:

This one sparked a storm. The comments range from brutally honest to surprisingly supportive — and everything in between.

After reading through the Reddit comments, it's clear that many users sympathize with the family's need for a private space to share difficult news without added pressure from in-laws. The code word system, while unconventional, seems to serve as a useful boundary that helps siblings support each other in times of crisis. Most commenters agree that excluding in-laws from such sensitive discussions isn't necessarily rude but rather a way to maintain a comfortable and honest environment for the core family members.

In my opinion, this family’s approach highlights the importance of clear communication and respecting established boundaries, especially when dealing with emotionally charged situations. While the disappointment of the daughter-in-law is understandable, it’s also crucial to honor the family's agreed-upon traditions that prioritize sibling support. Ultimately, this story is a reminder that every family has its own dynamics, and sometimes tough decisions about inclusion are made with the best intentions for everyone involved.

JB

Jonas Bergström

Digital Behavior Analyst & Tech-Life Balance Advocate

Jonas Bergström is a Swedish behavior analyst focused on the impact of digital technology on mental health. With a Master’s in Human-Computer Interaction, he explores how smartphones, apps, and social media shape our relationships and habits. Jonas promotes mindful tech use and healthier screen time boundaries.

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