Update; AITAH for asking my husband not to walk around all “n**e” because it makes my daughter uncomfortable
The original poster (OP) is newly married, having been with her husband for four years prior to their two-month marriage. Before marrying, the OP discussed her husband's habit of walking around without clothes, and he promised he had stopped. While her daughter was away, the OP observed him reverting to this behavior and asked him to wear a robe.
When the daughter returned, she expressed discomfort about seeing the husband unclothed, leading the OP to confront him again. The situation escalated when the OP set up a test, waiting in her daughter's room after telling her husband to bring a robe to the shower. Upon seeing him deliberately walk past her door unclothed, the OP became extremely upset, threatened police involvement, and demanded he leave. The core dilemma for the OP is how to handle this persistent, boundary-crossing behavior, especially given the potential impact on her daughter.
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According to Dr. Elliot Long, a specialist in family boundaries, "When established relational agreements are repeatedly violated immediately following a major commitment like marriage, it signals a fundamental breakdown in trust and respect, especially when a third party—a vulnerable child—is involved."
The OP's initial approach involved clear communication and setting a minor boundary (wearing a robe), which the husband initially appeared to comply with. However, the subsequent deliberate violation, immediately upon the daughter's return, suggests either a severe lack of impulse control or a calculated disregard for the OP's stated needs and her role as a protective parent. The husband's deflection—claiming the OP is stopping him from 'being himself'—is a common tactic to shift responsibility away from his own non-compliant actions.
The OP’s final action of threatening legal intervention and demanding separation, while extreme, is a proportionate response to a threat against her child's security, especially when direct communication failed repeatedly. The OP correctly prioritized her commitment to her daughter. A path forward now involves immediately securing physical separation and following through with the legal steps necessary to dissolve the marriage cleanly, focusing solely on the safety metrics established.
THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.:
The thread exploded with reactions. Whether agreeing or disagreeing, everyone had something to say — and they said it loud.
The OP has reached a firm decision to end her marriage due to her husband's refusal to respect basic boundaries, particularly concerning his state of dress around her daughter. Her primary concern remains the emotional safety and mental health of her daughter, leading her to believe divorce is necessary, despite her feelings for her husband.
The situation forces a choice between maintaining the marriage and protecting the child from behavior the OP perceives as deeply inappropriate and potentially dangerous. Readers must consider whether the husband's actions are merely eccentric boundary pushing or a calculated pattern of disrespect that justifies immediate separation for the sake of the daughter's well-being.