AITA for being unsympathetic to my parents who made me give birth to baby from SA at 13 so they could raise them and now that baby is old enough to be no contact after learning the truth?
At just twelve years old, she endured a betrayal so profound it shattered her innocence forever—a family friend’s violation, followed by her parents’ cold decision to force her through a pr***ancy she never wanted. Their selfish desire for another child eclipsed her pain, leaving her trapped in a nightmare, robbed of choice and dignity.
The trauma left her adrift in a sea of loss and anger, haunted by the life she was compelled to carry and the family who abandoned her to it. Only the refuge of her grandmother’s home offered a fragile thread of hope in a world that had been cruelly taken from her.
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As renowned family therapist and researcher Dr. Harriet Lerner explains, "Forgiveness is an internal process that can happen in your own time, when and if you choose to grant it. Forgiveness does not require forgetting or reconciling."
The OP's situation involves catastrophic breaches of trust and bodily autonomy orchestrated by their parents. The decision to refuse contact and assistance to the parents, and by extension, the younger sibling who is now entangled in the parents' deceit, is a necessary act of self-preservation. The trauma experienced at age 12, compounded by forced childbirth and the subsequent isolation, justifies the OP's current lack of emotional resources for those responsible or those directly connected to them. The family member's assertion that the OP should be sympathetic because they are 'where this all started' misplaces the blame; the OP did not start the abuse or the subsequent cover-up; the parents did.
The OP's actions of blocking communication are appropriate for maintaining hard-won boundaries. A constructive recommendation for future similar situations is to clearly articulate that while their boundaries are non-negotiable, if they ever choose to engage, it must be on terms that prioritize their psychological safety, which currently means zero involvement with the parents or the sibling’s situation, as any engagement risks reopening severe past wounds.
AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.:
This one sparked a storm. The comments range from brutally honest to surprisingly supportive — and everything in between.
The original poster (OP) faced severe trauma and control from their parents after being sexually assaulted at age 12, culminating in being forced to carry the pregnancy to term. Despite building a stable life, the OP maintains a firm boundary of no contact and refuses to engage with the fallout when the parents' other child learns the truth. The central conflict lies between the OP's absolute right to protect their healing and autonomy versus the family's expectation of forgiveness, sympathy, or aid based on shared history or perceived obligation.
Considering the immense, forced suffering inflicted upon the OP versus the family's attempt to shift responsibility and demand emotional labor now, is the OP justified in maintaining complete distance and refusing all involvement, or does the existence of the younger sibling create a moral duty for the OP to offer some form of acknowledgement or assistance?