AITA for leaving a dental appointment and leaving a "mean" review on every site humanly possible after the way I was treated?
She carried a silent battle inside her, one that had been raging since she was a child. At 25, finally seeking help for her purging disorder—a painful, misunderstood shadow of bulimia—she faced not only her own fears but the harsh judgment of a world quick to dismiss and mislabel her struggle. Her heart pounded with fragile hope as she made a dental appointment, yearning for kindness in a place where vulnerability should be met with care.
But hope shattered the moment the dental hygienist’s tools touched her damaged teeth. Instead of empathy, there was cruelty—a harsh breath of accusation that cut deeper than any physical pain. Her truth was silenced, her voice dismissed, leaving her exposed and alone in a moment meant to heal. This was more than a dental visit; it was a brutal reminder of the stigma and misunderstanding that still shadows those fighting invisible battles.
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As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” In this scenario, the dental hygienist failed to establish a professional boundary of respect, instead imposing a boundary of judgment. The OP, having taken the brave step of seeking care for a sensitive medical condition (purging disorder, often mislabeled or minimized compared to bulimia), was met with immediate skepticism and professional rudeness. This invalidation triggered a powerful emotional response, causing the OP to leave without payment, which, while understandable from a trauma perspective, escalated the situation into a public dispute.
The key issue here is clinical competence extending beyond physical treatment to include emotional intelligence and trauma-informed care. Eating disorders, regardless of subtype, carry immense shame. The hygienist’s immediate assumption, dismissal of the OP's correction, and use of non-verbal cues like eye-rolling signaled a profound lack of training in patient communication regarding sensitive health issues. The practice's subsequent attempt to manage the negative reviews rather than address the core complaint demonstrates a focus on reputation management over internal accountability and patient safety.
The OP's actions of leaving the appointment and subsequently posting reviews were a direct response to feeling violated and unheard in a vulnerable setting. While friends argue about the ethics of harming a small business, the professional consensus would lean toward the patient's right to an environment free from unnecessary emotional harm, especially when seeking treatment for a serious illness. A constructive recommendation for the future involves clearly communicating expectations for respectful care upfront and, if violated, seeking resolution through official patient relations channels before resorting to public reviews, though the immediate impulse to warn others is valid.
AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.:
The thread exploded with reactions. Whether agreeing or disagreeing, everyone had something to say — and they said it loud.
The original poster (OP) faced a deeply distressing and invalidating experience when seeking necessary dental care for health issues stemming from a long-term eating disorder. The central conflict lies between the OP's need for compassionate, informed medical treatment and the dental professional's dismissive, judgmental response, leading the OP to feel humiliated and fight back publicly through reviews.
Considering the professional obligation to treat all patients with respect versus the potential negative impact of public reviews on a small business, is the OP justified in prioritizing the warning of future vulnerable patients over the business's reputation?