My boyfriend is forcing me to give up the only thing I can drink and I'm dehydrating
She had never known life without the sweet, diluted summer fruits juice that coursed through her daily routine—a fragile shield against the terrifying anxiety that water, in its purest form, provoked within her. Every sip was a small victory against a deep-seated fear, a secret struggle hidden beneath the surface of her relationship with Jim.
But Jim, with his own hopes and frustrations, saw her dependence as a barrier: to intimacy, to adventure, to a fuller life they could share. His gentle comparisons to addiction cut deep, igniting a painful clash between love and self-preservation that neither was prepared to face.
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As renowned psychologist Dr. Albert Ellis, a pioneer of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), might suggest regarding deeply held personal habits and anxiety, "One of the main ways people stop themselves from achieving what they want is by catastrophizing a minor difficulty and convincing themselves they 'can't' do something."
The situation presents a clear conflict between an individual's coping mechanism (albeit an unconventional one for hydration) linked to anxiety (wretching at water) and a partner's demands based on aesthetics and practicality (smell, travel). The OP's physical reaction (panic attacks, dehydration) when attempting to switch to plain water demonstrates that this is not merely a preference but is tied to a strong psychological barrier, possibly involving sensory processing or severe phobia related to plain water. Jim's comparison to quitting smoking and labeling the cordial habit as 'disgusting' suggests an escalation into shaming language, which undermines cooperation and fosters resentment rather than healthy change.
The OP's effort to reduce cordial from 30% to 5% and their willingness to stop entirely for a month shows significant commitment to the relationship. However, forcing hydration methods that induce panic attacks is inappropriate boundary crossing by the partner. The OP's actions regarding the cordial were understandable given the anxiety history. A constructive recommendation is for the OP to re-establish a safe, acceptable hydration baseline (perhaps gradually increasing water while reintroducing a very low cordial mix) and seek professional support (therapy) to address the underlying anxiety associated with drinking plain water, thus removing the source of conflict related to 'juice' dependency.
THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.:
The internet jumped in fast, delivering everything from kind advice to cold truth. It’s a mix of empathy, outrage, and no-nonsense takes.
The original poster is caught between a deeply ingrained, anxiety-driven habit of drinking diluted fruit cordial for hydration and the strong disapproval of their partner, who perceives the habit negatively and is applying pressure to eliminate it entirely. The OP has made significant sacrifices to compromise, but the resulting panic attacks and dehydration show the current demand is severely impacting their well-being.
Is the OP justified in prioritizing their established hydration method, which is tied to anxiety, over their partner's desire for complete change, or is the need to resolve this conflict—rooted in perceived hygiene and lifestyle incompatibility—more important for the relationship's long-term success?