My boyfriend is forcing me to give up the only thing I can drink and I'm dehydrating
She had never known life without the sweet, diluted summer fruits juice that coursed through her daily routine—a fragile shield against the terrifying anxiety that water, in its purest form, provoked within her. Every sip was a small victory against a deep-seated fear, a secret struggle hidden beneath the surface of her relationship with Jim.
But Jim, with his own hopes and frustrations, saw her dependence as a barrier: to intimacy, to adventure, to a fuller life they could share. His gentle comparisons to addiction cut deep, igniting a painful clash between love and self-preservation that neither was prepared to face.
As renowned psychologist Dr. Albert Ellis, a pioneer of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), might suggest regarding deeply held personal habits and anxiety, "One of the main ways people stop themselves from achieving what they want is by catastrophizing a minor difficulty and convincing themselves they 'can't' do something."
The situation presents a clear conflict between an individual's coping mechanism (albeit an unconventional one for hydration) linked to anxiety (wretching at water) and a partner's demands based on aesthetics and practicality (smell, travel). The OP's physical reaction (panic attacks, dehydration) when attempting to switch to plain water demonstrates that this is not merely a preference but is tied to a strong psychological barrier, possibly involving sensory processing or severe phobia related to plain water. Jim's comparison to quitting smoking and labeling the cordial habit as 'disgusting' suggests an escalation into shaming language, which undermines cooperation and fosters resentment rather than healthy change.
The OP's effort to reduce cordial from 30% to 5% and their willingness to stop entirely for a month shows significant commitment to the relationship. However, forcing hydration methods that induce panic attacks is inappropriate boundary crossing by the partner. The OP's actions regarding the cordial were understandable given the anxiety history. A constructive recommendation is for the OP to re-establish a safe, acceptable hydration baseline (perhaps gradually increasing water while reintroducing a very low cordial mix) and seek professional support (therapy) to address the underlying anxiety associated with drinking plain water, thus removing the source of conflict related to 'juice' dependency.
THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.:
Support, sarcasm, and strong words — the replies covered it all. This one definitely got people talking.
The original poster is caught between a deeply ingrained, anxiety-driven habit of drinking diluted fruit cordial for hydration and the strong disapproval of their partner, who perceives the habit negatively and is applying pressure to eliminate it entirely. The OP has made significant sacrifices to compromise, but the resulting panic attacks and dehydration show the current demand is severely impacting their well-being.
Is the OP justified in prioritizing their established hydration method, which is tied to anxiety, over their partner's desire for complete change, or is the need to resolve this conflict—rooted in perceived hygiene and lifestyle incompatibility—more important for the relationship's long-term success?
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WIBTA to insist my neighbor keep a yard schedule?
For background I have a severely reactive rescue dog. She's terrified of other dogs and freaks out majorly when she sees them or hears them. My partner and I have been working with our vet and a behavioral trainer and we've made some progress, but my dog is still not truly comfortable anywhere but her own yard. A new lady just moved in next door, and she has two big dogs. They seem like nice dogs, they are quiet and she works with them a lot. The problem is that she works from home full time, and her dogs are always outside. She doesn't leave them there for hours or anything, but I never know when she's going to let them out or for how long. She also spends a lot of time out there with them after work and on weekends. To be fair to her, she trains them and she doesn't let them run up on the fence, and if they do bark, she makes them go inside. They're still out on the other side of the fence though and my dog is now scared and reacting in her own backyard. When my dog starts carrying on, she is the one who has to go inside. She already can't enjoy walks and now she can't even enjoy being outside. I asked my neighbor if she'd consider a schedule for the dogs so that my dog can enjoy her yard too without the neighbor's dogs freaking her out on the other side of the fence. She was polite about it but said no, she bought the house with the yard for her dogs, and they use it. She said she'd be glad to tell me when she's leaving with them for a period of hours, but otherwise she's not going to change what she's doing day to day. So nothing changed and her dogs get plenty of outdoor time and mine gets none except for the stray times when she takes one of her dogs to a training class or takes both of them for a hike. I'm really upset and want to insist that we adopt a schedule so that my dog can have some outside time too. My dog does not get the same opportunity as her dogs, not even close. Her dogs have free access five days a week, weeknights, and weekends. My dog only gets outside time now when she says she is leaving for a class or a hike. If I let my dog out to sun herself at 10:30 on a Tuesday, sure enough, it won't be five minutes before she's letting her dogs out and then my dog freaks out and has to come in. She is not getting anywhere close to what they are getting. The fence is a privacy fence. My dog freaks out when she can hear and smell the other dogs as well as see them. She can't see these dogs but she knows they're there.
AITA for telling my brother that if my parents need money they can ask me for it themselves.
My parents did not think a girl needed an education, so they chose not to save any money for me growing up. They had no interest in my education or extracurricular activities. My mom's brother, Bryan, grew up in the UK and he had a different attitude. He would always check in on me and see how I was doing in school. He bought me my first graphing calculator. Because I wanted to impress him, I worked myself raw to graduate with honors. I was the salutatorian in my school and received a scholarship to my dream school. I did not even bother telling my parents. I graduated from high school and moved to the west coast. My parents tried to convince me to come home, but I was quite happy for the first time I could remember. I studied in a STEM field and was recruited before I graduated. My job pays me very well and I met my husband at work. My brother also attended university and is an engineer. He does well for himself, except that he is constantly giving our parents money. My brother talked to me recently about how we needed to support our parents in their old age. I said I had no problem contributing to them. However, they would have to ask me for help. I would not volunteer it or send it through him. If they wanted my money, they had to ask for it. He says that they won't because it would shame my father to ask a woman for money. I am okay with him feeling shame after the way he raised me. My brother says I am being unreasonable and it does not matter since my parents know where the money will be coming from. I think that my parents need to get over themselves.
AITAH for getting a dna test to see if i share the same dna as both my parents even though i was demanded specifically by my mom not to do so, since i was a child?
I have always suspected that I might not be biologically related to my parents. Growing up, my mother treated me and my younger brother very differently. I was disciplined more harshly, grounded for longer periods, and subjected to invasive phone searches, while my brother faced few consequences even when he got his girlfriend pregnant at sixteen. My father was mostly passive and uninvolved in my upbringing. Due to the toxic environment, I eventually moved 1,000 miles away with my spouse to find peace. My suspicions are fueled by physical and legal anomalies. I do not share my parents' physical features, such as their freckles or dark brown eyes, and I am the only person in both my immediate and extended family with a completely different last name. Whenever I questioned my mother about my last name, she became defensive and refused to explain. Recently, during a family visit, a card game prompted me to admit to getting a DNA test. My mother reacted with immediate anger and hostility, which caused me to panic and lie that I was joking. Despite promising my mother during my childhood that I would never take a DNA test, my curiosity led me to purchase a kit. My mother's oldest sister recently found a long-lost sister through a DNA test, yet my mother remains strictly opposed to me doing the same. I have sent my kit in and expect the results soon, but I feel immense guilt, as if searching for the truth is a betrayal that could ruin my family relationships.
